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I was thinking about this today. What are some general rules all wolves should follow? So here's a few of my own.

1) A Wolf should never disturb another wolf while that wolf is sleeping.

By "wolves" do you mean werewolves, or do you mean that quite literally?

Wolves and Werewolves have their own hierarchy and set of rules. Most of it is from the Alpha Male and Female.

2) A werewolf must replace each lamb shank or side of venison taken from his roommate's refrigerator, or else he must do double his amount of chores for the week.

3) A werewolf must not leave tattered pieces of clothing strewn around the house. These pieces should be thrown away.

4) A werewolf should always be courteous to his non-werewolf neighbors during the full moon, and not howl obnoxiously in his room at 12:00 midnight.

This looks like fun, and I could use some fun right now...

5: Werewolves should demonstrate their usefulness to their neighbors, like carrying very heavy objects while in Fur to assist these neighbors when things like refrigerators need to be removed so a new one can be put in its place. Taking out the trash is a sure points-maker, and lifting a neighbor's car when they can't find the jack works well, especially with women who have a flat tire.
Happy neighbors are protective neighbors.

6: Never ever mark territory in the customary manner when others are around. This goes double for Fire hydrants, and sniffing them is also a no-no.

7: Refer to yourself as a "Were-Husky" or Were-German Shepherd" rather than as a Were-Wolf. For some reason, humans deal with those names with less fear and more friendliness. If they give you a doggy bisquit, eat it and thank them. They think they're giving you a treat. And whatever you do, memorize their Faces, not the other end of their bodies.

I don't think werewolves are supposed to have certain rules, because rules are only applied by humans.

I think werewolves, like wolves would live by instinct and nature.

Well, there's loyalty to one's pack and mate...

Berserker wrote:2) A werewolf must replace each lamb shank or side of venison taken from his roommate's refrigerator, or else he must do double his amount of chores for the week.

If ye plunder his kill from a weaker/Devour not all in thy pride/Pack-right is the right of the lowest/So leave him the head and the hide.

3) A werewolf must not leave tattered pieces of clothing strewn around the house. These pieces should be thrown away.

The Lair of the Wolf is his refuge/but where he has digged it too plain/The Council shall send him a message/and so he shall change it again.

4) A werewolf should always be courteous to his non-werewolf neighbors during the full moon, and not howl obnoxiously in his room at 12:00 midnight.

If ye kill before midnight, be silent, and wake not the woods with your bay,
Lest ye frighten the deer from the crop, and your brothers go empty away.

8: Never eat garlic bread (or talk about how good it is) across the table from a vampire. He'll be offended, or worse, will get even with you by having a chocolate sundae for desert.

9. Don't bite a normal human without prior approval from your pack and a $50 nonrefundable application fee from said human.

Renorei wrote:9. Don't bite a normal human without prior approval from your pack and a $50 nonrefundable application fee from said human.

Hm. I would have said "Never attempt to sell or barter with your lycanthropy." People who want lycanthropy usually intend to use it, and people willing to actually pay money for it most definitely will not use it for anything good.

Point, Terastas... but suppose said human has something lethal happening in their lives? The idea of getting fuzzy and toothy as a way of surviving, say, cancer has been brought up before in this forum.

That would probably mean identity checks and cashier's checks and someone to oversee the new wolf in the pack while they got used to their status in life as a legend and staple in cheap, badly made horror flicks.

Fearful thought: suppose someone made a movie using this premise...as a comedy?
Stands my fur on end just thinking about it...

10) Never pee against a electric fence.

RedEye wrote:That would probably mean identity checks and cashier's checks and someone to oversee the new wolf in the pack while they got used to their status in life as a legend and staple in cheap, badly made horror flicks.

Fearful thought: suppose someone made a movie using this premise...as a comedy?
Stands my fur on end just thinking about it...

*sits on his rough draft of the Night Life pilot*

#11: Never wear Velcro.

Terastas wrote: #11: Never wear Velcro.

Hell, that's a good rule for everybody, not just werewolves.

12: When purchasing personal products, try pretending you have a dog. That means squeeky toys, a leash, and maybe some bisquits and kibble now and then.* Fur combs, brushes, and flea shampoo tend to be give-aways to the wrong people when purchased alone.
*Kibble is always good as munchies for rental movies when salted a bit.

13: Point out to nervous neighbors that if you were really like the movies, you wouldn't be helping them move that heavy old air-conditioner, and you wouldn't be a part of the Neighborhood Watch program. Add that you turn over their garden every year for free, instead of making them rent a cultivator.
Hint: Changing those high-up hard to reach lightbulbs for them is a sure-fire positive representation, as is always having a roast or steak available for the missus when those surprise in-laws show up and want a meal.

When I saw the title of this thread, I thought it was in reference to Tom Hanks looking for the hidden message buried inside badly made werewolf movies, leading to dramatic chase scenes through cathedrals in Europe.

Scott Gardener wrote:When I saw the title of this thread, I thought it was in reference to Tom Hanks looking for the hidden message buried inside badly made werewolf movies...

And werewolf-paintings?

The werewolves wanna eat you.

What kind of a code is that?

What kind of a code is that?

.- / -.-. --- -.. . / - .... .- - / -- .- -.- . ... / ... . -. ... . / .- -. -.. / .. ... / .- .-- . ... --- -- . .-.-.-

Oh I thought it was more like this:

0011010010101010101000100101101000010100100101010101011010101010101010010101001010001001100010

I prefer to use binary as a representation of morse code, and then run it through a Caesar's cypher and maybe a Baconian one after that. That way it makes no sense at all.

I say do whatever! Go ahead and howl at the full moon at midnight! Leave shredded clothes about the house. Eat all the food in the fridge! MARK YOUR TERRITORY ON SOMEONE ELSE!



On a more serious note, I believe that unless you are a part of a pack, or even one that adheres to the structure and rules of a normal wolf pack, then there are no "Rules". Of course any pack has rules, but I do not believe that most would be so dedicated as to set rules like an actual wolf pack. I do believe that a few would want it that way though. A normal pack would most likely consist of trusted friends who have formed their own pack, designated someone to oversee everything and get together on scheduled days, plan trips up to the woods, or maybe even live together.

You have to remember that werewolves were once human, and will always have that part in them. If you are a werewolf, you just live day to day as best you can. There won't be official "Rules" unless you are a part of a pack.

14) Thou shalt not mate with thy neighbors pets.... No matter how attractive they be.