Alameda Sheriff Investigates Suspected Werewolf Attack

The place to talk about where a lot of things started. Stories and history, references, etc.
Post Reply
User avatar
Uniform Two Six
Legendary
Legendary
Posts: 1121
Joined: Wed Sep 06, 2006 8:56 pm
Location: Hayward, CA

Alameda Sheriff Investigates Suspected Werewolf Attack

Post by Uniform Two Six »

SPOILER ALERT: This isn't what it sounds like, but I'm vaguely curious to see how many people click here after reading the post subject line.

Anywho... I was taking a criminal forensics class and the professor teaching it is one of the higher-ups at the Alameda County (California) Sheriff Department crime lab. She was discussing things that can go amazingly wrong in a criminal investigation and she told this story:

Sometime in the late 1980s (I didn't get precisely when) a patrol unit with the Pleasanton Police Department responded to a call for service at a residence in that city. The caller reported that there was a substance which she believed was blood running out from under a garage door at the residence. The officers arrived and did indeed witness what they believed to be blood running out from under the garage door -- gallons and gallons of blood by the look of it. The stain was a few feet wide and ran all the way down the driveway, into the gutter and into a storm drain. Believing (somewhat understandably) that there were exigent circumstances, they forced open the front door and entered the premises. The house was empty save for a blood-soaked dog (very much alive), an unidentified bat kept in a cage and an overturned 55 gallon drum in the garage with blood residue inside. The house's owner is nowhere to be found and his car is missing. The scene was sufficiently worrisome that the Pleasanton Police Department quickly enlisted the aid of the Alameda County Sheriff's crime scene investigation team. My illustrious professor just happens to be on duty in the lab when this little case comes in. Specifically, the detectives were tremendously interested in determining if the blood in the drum was human or not. She performs what is known as an antibody test. The exact proceedure for this test can get a little technical, but the short version is that antibodies from a series of known animals (including human) are tested against the blood sample to see if there is a reaction. A strong reaction with a specific antibody gives you a presumptive match with the species that the blood came from. She runs the battery (including both human and bat) and gets an anomalous reading: Faint positives for both human and canine. Now she knows that this probably means that there was some sort of contamination in the sample, so she uses a more sophisticated (and unfortunately time-consuming) test. One of the detectives from Pleasanton calls her and demands to know the results of the test. She replies that the test was "inconclusive" and that he would have to wait until Monday for the tests to be completed. The detective (under significant pressure to make immediate progress with the case) was not pleased by this and makes some unfortunate statements about her competence (it should be noted that Pleasanton is not a community where mass-murders happen with any great frequency). Somewhat flippantly she replies that the detective and his colleagues could start looking for a werewolf if they were in such a rush. She hangs up on him and goes home for the night. She comes back in the following Monday to find a message that the Sheriff of Alameda County himself wants to see her. She shows up and to her chagrin finds that a local newspaper had quoted Pleasanton Police officials as saying that the Alameda County Sheriff Department had told them they believed a werewolf had attacked the house's owner.

So there you have it. An official werewolf attack.

Although the real punch-line in this story is even better:
It turns out that the reason there was no strong reaction to the antibody tests was that the blood was bovine (not one of the blood-types that she screened for). They eventually found the house's owner safe and sound. It turns out that the owner was a man of -- ahem -- unusual sexual appetites, and that he used the South American Vampire Bat as part of some bizarre ritual in kinky sex with his girlfriend (hey, what can I say? It's the San Francisco Bay Area). Anyway the Vampire Bat (as its name implies) subsists upon blood, primarily bovine blood. This particular genius goes to a slaughterhouse in the Central Valley and tries to buy some bovine blood for the bat. He finds out that they're willing to sell him the stuff in 55 gallon barrels. Einstein here decides that he's found blood-Costco or something and takes them up on their offer and gets himself a 55 gallon drum of blood (I have to wonder if he knew that blood needs to be refrigerated or it quickly goes bad, or that it's a pretty severe biohazard... idiot). He brings the drum of blood home and stores it in his garage. He then goes to work. The dog smelling the festering barrel of blood goes completely apes**t and knocks the barrel over (and proceeds to roll around in the stuff). The faint positives for human were due to contamination from the dude (and probably other people at the slaughterhouse as well) and the faint canine positive was from the dog rolling around in the stuff. The owner comes home to find a dozen patrol cars as well as a couple of TV news vans parked in front of the house. Understandably, he chose to go somewhere else that night.

Ah, but they saved the best for last: Neither the Alameda County Sheriff Department nor the Pleasanton Police could charge him with anything... but he was hit with a stiff fine by the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service as the South American Vampire Bat is apparently endangered and illegal to possess. :D

lycan94
Legendary
Legendary
Posts: 129
Joined: Thu Jul 12, 2007 7:05 am

Re: Alameda Sheriff Investigates Suspected Werewolf Attack

Post by lycan94 »

That is funny.
Death is the final reminder of our own mortality.
When all my ennimies die, I hope i have the strength to spit on their graves or the money to pay someone to do it for me

User avatar
Sunbane
Pack Member
Pack Member
Posts: 20
Joined: Tue Aug 12, 2008 3:33 pm
Gender: Male

Re: Alameda Sheriff Investigates Suspected Werewolf Attack

Post by Sunbane »

Well, who could resist clicking that link? It was a good story to boot. :lol:

User avatar
Uniform Two Six
Legendary
Legendary
Posts: 1121
Joined: Wed Sep 06, 2006 8:56 pm
Location: Hayward, CA

Re: Alameda Sheriff Investigates Suspected Werewolf Attack

Post by Uniform Two Six »

I've noticed that the great thing about listening to people in law enforcement is they always have the best stories. You can't make this stuff up. :D

User avatar
RedEye
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 3400
Joined: Sun Jun 25, 2006 11:45 pm
Custom Title: Master of Meh
Gender: Male
Mood: Meh...
Location: Somewhere between here and Wolf Bend, Montana.
Contact:

Re: Alameda Sheriff Investigates Suspected Werewolf Attack

Post by RedEye »

Uniform Two Six wrote:I've noticed that the great thing about listening to people in law enforcement is they always have the best stories. You can't make this stuff up. :D
Actually, you can; but it isn't nearly as good as the real thing. :lol:
RedEye: The Wulf and writer who might really be a Kitsune...

User avatar
Kaebora
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 2440
Joined: Sat Aug 13, 2005 4:51 pm
Custom Title: Werehare In Disguise
Gender: Male
Mood: RAR!
Location: Dallas, TX
Contact:

Re: Alameda Sheriff Investigates Suspected Werewolf Attack

Post by Kaebora »

I wonder how much 55 gallons of bovine blood costs. 0,o
Sex kinks get stranger and stranger.
Lurking softly, reading your posts, loving your ideas...
-Kaebora

User avatar
Uniform Two Six
Legendary
Legendary
Posts: 1121
Joined: Wed Sep 06, 2006 8:56 pm
Location: Hayward, CA

Re: Alameda Sheriff Investigates Suspected Werewolf Attack

Post by Uniform Two Six »

Y'know that's a good question. Blood is a biohazardous material, so I would think that it would have to be disposed of in some way that's regulated by various authorities. Considering how expensive that probably is, I'd bet they would sell the stuff for the cost of the barrel and nothing else. Heck, they might just give it away for free just to be rid of the stuff without having to properly dispose of it.

Why? You planning on getting a South American Vampire Bat or something? :D

User avatar
Kaebora
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 2440
Joined: Sat Aug 13, 2005 4:51 pm
Custom Title: Werehare In Disguise
Gender: Male
Mood: RAR!
Location: Dallas, TX
Contact:

Re: Alameda Sheriff Investigates Suspected Werewolf Attack

Post by Kaebora »

Uniform Two Six wrote:Why? You planning on getting a South American Vampire Bat or something? :D
Just curious how much money the guy wasted.
Lurking softly, reading your posts, loving your ideas...
-Kaebora

User avatar
Uniform Two Six
Legendary
Legendary
Posts: 1121
Joined: Wed Sep 06, 2006 8:56 pm
Location: Hayward, CA

Re: Alameda Sheriff Investigates Suspected Werewolf Attack

Post by Uniform Two Six »

Haven't a clue, but I'll bet he wasted much more cash on the fine USFWS nailed him with. (Tee hee hee...)

User avatar
Kavik
Legendary
Legendary
Posts: 295
Joined: Sat Apr 30, 2005 6:52 am
Custom Title: Kavik the Wolf-Boy
Gender: Male
Mood: Busy
Location: Virginia Beach
Contact:

Re: Alameda Sheriff Investigates Suspected Werewolf Attack

Post by Kavik »

That was a great anecdote. :lol: Thanks so much for sharing it.
Give a man a fish, feed him for a day.
Give a man a poisoned fish, feed him for life.
- Crazy Ivan (aka Kavik)
http://s3.bite-fight.us/c.php?uid=167865
http://www.geocities.com/crazy_ivan_thx11/Talbot.htm

User avatar
lunarwolf
Legendary
Legendary
Posts: 241
Joined: Sat Jul 22, 2006 3:51 pm
Custom Title: Trying to run free
Gender: Male
Additional Details: I look beyond the line of what a lot people call FACTS.... Because just because it's name MYTH..... Does not mean it does not exist.
Location: why you want to know?
Contact:

Re: Alameda Sheriff Investigates Suspected Werewolf Attack

Post by lunarwolf »

Ha funny.. Good story :lol:
The truth...ha...why does it matter to you? You really don't want to know the truths I know....

User avatar
Celestialwolf
Legendary
Legendary
Posts: 369
Joined: Fri Jul 29, 2005 5:41 am
Custom Title: Werewolf at Heart
Gender: Male
Additional Details: Used to be Lazywolf

Re: Alameda Sheriff Investigates Suspected Werewolf Attack

Post by Celestialwolf »

That was strange. Just goes to show that sometimes truth is weirder than fiction! :roflmao:
Founder, Werewolves At Heart group.
--
My DeviantArt profile and Character Sheet

User avatar
RedEye
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 3400
Joined: Sun Jun 25, 2006 11:45 pm
Custom Title: Master of Meh
Gender: Male
Mood: Meh...
Location: Somewhere between here and Wolf Bend, Montana.
Contact:

Re: Alameda Sheriff Investigates Suspected Werewolf Attack

Post by RedEye »

Truth is ALWAYS wierder than fiction. :lol:

In fiction, you tend to limit yourself to believable things.

The Truth has no such restrictions... :wink:
RedEye: The Wulf and writer who might really be a Kitsune...

Gray Wind
Dealing with the Change
Dealing with the Change
Posts: 13
Joined: Tue Dec 23, 2008 9:44 pm
Gender: Male

Re: Alameda Sheriff Investigates Suspected Werewolf Attack

Post by Gray Wind »

Be it truth or fiction, i could easily die of laughter over here.

very amusing to say the least :lol:

Post Reply