Research paper

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Research paper

Post by WereWolfBoy »

The world is filled with myths, legends, and folklore that many people are frighten of what has happened in the past will come forth and haunt the present. The legend of the Lycanthropes and wolves . To prove to people that one is legend, myth and the other is a creature of today "the present", the past and the future.

Over the past few centuries, people have claimed to be a werewolf. Some say its witchcraft, others say its the dead coming back for living flesh. The claims turn up to be, not being bitten by a Lycanthrope (another name or word meaning "Werewolf". The word Werewolf is a word combined of two Greek words. "The first part, wer, translates as "man" (in the sense of male human, not the race of humanity). The second half, wulf, is the ancestor of modern English "wolf"; in some cases it also had the general meaning "beast." Lycanthropy is defined as a rare psychiatric syndrome which involves a delusion that the affected person can or has transformed into an animal, or that he or she is an animal. Its name is connected to the mythical condition of lycanthropy, a supernatural affliction in which people are said to physically shape shift into wolves. The word zoanthropy is also sometimes used for the delusion that one has turned into an animal in general and not specifically a wolf"(Etymology) and as to this day there is still no cure. Lycanthropes are also known to have weaknesses. They can be pierced through the heart or any other vital part of the body, any severing of the head of the beast can kill it. If you wound a werewolf then it can heal when it reverts back to its human form, healing any wounds that it had received during its state as a werewolf.

Wolves have been a part of this world since ancient times. Historically, wolves roamed throughout the lower 48 states, but centuries of misconceptions and hostility toward the species led to intense human persecution. These factors coupled with habitat loss effectively wiped out the species throughout most of the country during the twentieth century. Many over the centuries can to believe if you were seen with a wolf then you had sold your soul to the devil. However, this is not true. Wolves are shy animals and prefer to stay away from human contact if possible. Most tend to come to think wolves as lycanthropes although they are different. Lycanthropes like the taste of human flesh, even though this is according to the legends. It is true though that some wolves in the past have attacked humans. This type of behavior is caused by the wolf being unhealthy and sick, or provoked to attacked such as when they are defending their pack of pups in the spring.

Lycanthropes and wolves share some characteristics. They share the following: They both have fur, claws, with padding underfoot, sharp teeth, ears that are pulled back, heighten senses, stretched jaw outward to form a muzzle, and they also both howl at the full moon. Here are some things that make them different from wolves. Lycanthropes have a humanoid shape, muscular body, human emotions, and some are able to wear human clothing. Some similarities are they can both walk on four legs, both eat red meat "not human flesh" they both hunt mainly wild animals.

In the Native American culture having the name "Ho-Ne-He" meaning "wolf" meant you're fast, cunning, swift, and intelligent.
Also within the tribe there was a "shaman" or "medicine man" who was also to be considered " the one with nature". In the Navajo beliefs there was one "Skin Walker" in the tribe, meaning he/she could transform into a wolf or other animals by putting on the animals hides or furs.

Now a days people come to accept others for the way they act. Most people who have the mental disease prefer to stay away from large quality of people to prevent harm of any type to anyone around them. Lycanthropes and wolves are similar in other ways even the experts can't grasp even to understand myself. The world is filled with myths, legends, folklore, and many other things that people try to grasp and understand but not many are willing to listen and discover the possibilities of what the world contains hidden under the curtain of lies, opinions, and facts. Sometimes things happen that we can't explain or have an logical explanation for it. Please understand that seeing a wolf is not a sin, just observe it in its natural habitat and let this help you understand why.
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Re: Research paper

Post by Berserker »

I'm going to go over your research paper as a teacher might.
WereWolfBoy wrote:The world is filled with myths, legends, and folklore that many people are frighten of what has happened in the past will come forth and haunt the present.


Should be frightened, not frighten. Also, there are two different thoughts in this sentence that are not separated. Suggest changing the sentence to read: "The world is filled with myths, legends, and folklore, and many people fear that what has happened in the past will haunt the present." Also, "people fear" is active writing, compared to the passive writing of "people are frightened of what."
The legend of the Lycanthropes and wolves.
Sentence fragment
To prove to people that one is legend, myth and the other is a creature of today "the present", the past and the future.
Sentence fragment. Also, "to prove to people" is unnecessary; you're not proving to "people," you're proving to the reader, and the fact that you've written a paper is enough to say so. Also, "today 'the present'" is redundant.

Over the past few centuries, people have claimed to be a werewolf. Some say its witchcraft,
Who?

others say its the dead coming back for living flesh.
Who?
The claims turn up to be, not being bitten by a Lycanthrope (another name or word meaning "Werewolf".
This sentence doesn't make much sense. "The claims turn up to be," what, exactly? Reword this sentence to make your point more clear.
The word Werewolf is a word combined of two Greek words. "The first part, wer, translates as "man" (in the sense of male human, not the race of humanity). The second half, wulf, is the ancestor of modern English "wolf"; in some cases it also had the general meaning "beast."
Sources? Actually, "wer" and "wulf" are not Greek words at all. Additionally, you copied most of this directly from Wikipedia. If I were a teacher, I would go straight to Wikipedia first to check where you got your information from, and then probably deduct points for plagiarism.
Lycanthropy is defined as a rare psychiatric syndrome which involves a delusion that the affected person can or has transformed into an animal, or that he or she is an animal. Its name is connected to the mythical condition of lycanthropy, a supernatural affliction in which people are said to physically shape shift into wolves. The word zoanthropy is also sometimes used for the delusion that one has turned into an animal in general and not specifically a wolf"(Etymology)
Again, you copy word-for-word directly from Wikipedia. This is plagiarism. You should write your own paper, and cite sources from where you gather your information. I would be tempted to flunk the paper at this point, but then you might not learn anything.
Lycanthropes are also known to have weaknesses. They can be pierced through the heart or any other vital part of the body, any severing of the head of the beast can kill it. If you wound a werewolf then it can heal when it reverts back to its human form, healing any wounds that it had received during its state as a werewolf.
This segment doesn't belong in a paragraph about clinical Lycanthropy, which is a real-life condition. You've already defined Lycanthropy as a "rare psychiatric syndrome," so why are you talking about things like "weaknesses?" Also, the information in bold is unverified research. For all I know as a reader, you simply just made it all up.
Wolves have been a part of this world since ancient times. Historically, wolves roamed throughout the lower 48 states, but centuries of misconceptions and hostility toward the species led to intense human persecution. These factors coupled with habitat loss effectively wiped out the species throughout most of the country during the twentieth century.
Text copied verbatim from Defenders of Wildlife... you know how I can tell that you're copying and pasting text? Because the writing style suddenly jumps from disjointed and full of errors, to strangely coherent.
Many over the centuries can to believe if you were seen with a wolf then you had sold your soul to the devil.
Many who? Many people? Make sure to specify. Also, you don't describe which culture or group of people had this specific belief. Since there have been many cultures who don't believe in things like "the devil," and yet have stories about werewolves, you might want to go into more detail.

Most tend to come to think wolves as lycanthropes although they are different.
Another sentence that doesn't make much sense. Who is "most?" Most people? Where's the evidence for this claim? And you haven't described what they think very well. "Most people think of wolves as lycanthropes?" Is that what you mean? And if so, really? You need to expound on this comparison.
Lycanthropes like the taste of human flesh, even though this is according to the legends.
Sentence structure and reference. My suggestion: "According to some legends, lycanthropes like the taste of human flesh."
It is true though that some wolves in the past have attacked humans. This type of behavior is caused by the wolf being unhealthy and sick, or provoked to attacked such as when they are defending their pack of pups in the spring.
Again, unverifiable research, and passive writing. Consider this suggestion: "Only unhealthy or sick wolves, wolves that have been provoked, or wolves defending their pups typically attack humans." Of course, these aren't the only reasons wolves have attacked people. Without including source reference and additional data, this paragraph sounds more like an opinion than a fact.

Lycanthropes and wolves share some characteristics. They share the following: They both have fur, claws, with padding underfoot, sharp teeth, ears that are pulled back, heighten senses, stretched jaw outward to form a muzzle, and they also both howl at the full moon. Here are some things that make them different from wolves. Lycanthropes have a humanoid shape, muscular body, human emotions, and some are able to wear human clothing. Some similarities are they can both walk on four legs,
This is all completely your opinion, and isn't supported by any kind of historical evidence, research, or anecdote. Not all lycanthropes share these characteristics. In fact, not all wolves do, either. (Wolves are no more prone to howling at the full moon than any other time of the year.)
both eat red meat "not human flesh" they both hunt mainly wild animals.
Sentence structure, unnecessary use of quotations. My suggestion: "Both creatures eat red meat, but not human flesh; they both hunt mainly wild animals."
In the Native American culture having the name "Ho-Ne-He" meaning "wolf" meant you're fast, cunning, swift, and intelligent.
Wasn't your paper on werewolves, wolves, and Native American culture? Your transitions between these ideas are very weak, and the paper doesn't have a tight flow.

There isn't one single "Native American culture." Which Native American tribe uses the name Ho-Ne-He? Make sure to specify. Also, you don't attach any kind of significance to the name. Again you should expound on your ideas: "Ho-Ne-He" meaning "wolf" meant you're fast, cunning, swift, and intelligent. This indicated that some cultures had a positive view of wolves, and that attributing wolf-like traits to people was actually a compliment. This view differs from (the other examples I mentioned,) where a person described as having wolf-like traits would have been thought to be demonic."
Now a days people come to accept others for the way they act.
Really?! This is a very generalized, very naive statement.

Most people who have the mental disease prefer to stay away from large quality of people to prevent harm of any type to anyone around them.
Which "mental disease?" Make sure the reader knows you're referring to Lycanthropy. You also say "most people" as if there's a significant number. Lycanthropy is in fact extraordinarily rare, and there have only been a tiny handful of reported cases in the history of psychiatry. Also, "large "quality" of people" should be either "large quantities of people," or more appropriately, "crowds of people."

Lycanthropes and wolves are similar in other ways even the experts can't grasp even to understand myself.
What do you mean? In what ways? You're begging the question. Also, sentence structure and grammar: "Lycanthropes and wolves are similar in ways that even the experts can't grasp." ("even to understand myself" doesn't make sense in this sentence.)
The world is filled with myths, legends, folklore,
You're repeating the first sentence of your essay verbatim.
and many other things that people try to grasp and understand but not many are willing to listen and discover the possibilities of what the world contains hidden under the curtain of lies, opinions, and facts.
Run-on sentence: "and many other things that people try to understand. Not many people are willing to listen (listen to what?) to discover the world's possibilities (passive versus active) under the curtain of lies, opinions, and facts (not sure this part makes much sense.)"
Please understand that seeing a wolf is not a sin, just observe it in its natural habitat and let this help you understand why.
This sentence directly addresses the reader, but assumes automatically that the reader would think "seeing a wolf is a sin."

Overall, your essay contains very little research besides what you blatantly copied and pasted from the internet. It lacks detail sufficient enough to cover the subject matter, and you have a large number of grammatical errors and examples of fairly poor writing. It doesn't seem that you put very much effort into it at all. I would give this a C-.

MLA guide for formatting and citations:

http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/557/01/

A few essay writing tips:

http://www.collegeboard.com/student/app ... /9406.html
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Re: Research paper

Post by Sebiale »

3 words, Wall of Text
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Re: Research paper

Post by WereWolfBoy »

Berserker wrote:I'm going to go over your research paper as a teacher might.
WereWolfBoy wrote:The world is filled with myths, legends, and folklore that many people are frighten of what has happened in the past will come forth and haunt the present.


Should be frightened, not frighten. Also, there are two different thoughts in this sentence that are not separated. Suggest changing the sentence to read: "The world is filled with myths, legends, and folklore, and many people fear that what has happened in the past will haunt the present." Also, "people fear" is active writing, compared to the passive writing of "people are frightened of what."
The legend of the Lycanthropes and wolves.
Sentence fragment
To prove to people that one is legend, myth and the other is a creature of today "the present", the past and the future.
Sentence fragment. Also, "to prove to people" is unnecessary; you're not proving to "people," you're proving to the reader, and the fact that you've written a paper is enough to say so. Also, "today 'the present'" is redundant.

Over the past few centuries, people have claimed to be a werewolf. Some say its witchcraft,
Who?

others say its the dead coming back for living flesh.
Who?
The claims turn up to be, not being bitten by a Lycanthrope (another name or word meaning "Werewolf".
This sentence doesn't make much sense. "The claims turn up to be," what, exactly? Reword this sentence to make your point more clear.
The word Werewolf is a word combined of two Greek words. "The first part, wer, translates as "man" (in the sense of male human, not the race of humanity). The second half, wulf, is the ancestor of modern English "wolf"; in some cases it also had the general meaning "beast."
Sources? Actually, "wer" and "wulf" are not Greek words at all. Additionally, you copied most of this directly from Wikipedia. If I were a teacher, I would go straight to Wikipedia first to check where you got your information from, and then probably deduct points for plagiarism.
Lycanthropy is defined as a rare psychiatric syndrome which involves a delusion that the affected person can or has transformed into an animal, or that he or she is an animal. Its name is connected to the mythical condition of lycanthropy, a supernatural affliction in which people are said to physically shape shift into wolves. The word zoanthropy is also sometimes used for the delusion that one has turned into an animal in general and not specifically a wolf"(Etymology)
Again, you copy word-for-word directly from Wikipedia. This is plagiarism. You should write your own paper, and cite sources from where you gather your information. I would be tempted to flunk the paper at this point, but then you might not learn anything.
Lycanthropes are also known to have weaknesses. They can be pierced through the heart or any other vital part of the body, any severing of the head of the beast can kill it. If you wound a werewolf then it can heal when it reverts back to its human form, healing any wounds that it had received during its state as a werewolf.
This segment doesn't belong in a paragraph about clinical Lycanthropy, which is a real-life condition. You've already defined Lycanthropy as a "rare psychiatric syndrome," so why are you talking about things like "weaknesses?" Also, the information in bold is unverified research. For all I know as a reader, you simply just made it all up.
Wolves have been a part of this world since ancient times. Historically, wolves roamed throughout the lower 48 states, but centuries of misconceptions and hostility toward the species led to intense human persecution. These factors coupled with habitat loss effectively wiped out the species throughout most of the country during the twentieth century.
Text copied verbatim from Defenders of Wildlife... you know how I can tell that you're copying and pasting text? Because the writing style suddenly jumps from disjointed and full of errors, to strangely coherent.
Many over the centuries can to believe if you were seen with a wolf then you had sold your soul to the devil.
Many who? Many people? Make sure to specify. Also, you don't describe which culture or group of people had this specific belief. Since there have been many cultures who don't believe in things like "the devil," and yet have stories about werewolves, you might want to go into more detail.

Most tend to come to think wolves as lycanthropes although they are different.
Another sentence that doesn't make much sense. Who is "most?" Most people? Where's the evidence for this claim? And you haven't described what they think very well. "Most people think of wolves as lycanthropes?" Is that what you mean? And if so, really? You need to expound on this comparison.
Lycanthropes like the taste of human flesh, even though this is according to the legends.
Sentence structure and reference. My suggestion: "According to some legends, lycanthropes like the taste of human flesh."
It is true though that some wolves in the past have attacked humans. This type of behavior is caused by the wolf being unhealthy and sick, or provoked to attacked such as when they are defending their pack of pups in the spring.
Again, unverifiable research, and passive writing. Consider this suggestion: "Only unhealthy or sick wolves, wolves that have been provoked, or wolves defending their pups typically attack humans." Of course, these aren't the only reasons wolves have attacked people. Without including source reference and additional data, this paragraph sounds more like an opinion than a fact.

Lycanthropes and wolves share some characteristics. They share the following: They both have fur, claws, with padding underfoot, sharp teeth, ears that are pulled back, heighten senses, stretched jaw outward to form a muzzle, and they also both howl at the full moon. Here are some things that make them different from wolves. Lycanthropes have a humanoid shape, muscular body, human emotions, and some are able to wear human clothing. Some similarities are they can both walk on four legs,
This is all completely your opinion, and isn't supported by any kind of historical evidence, research, or anecdote. Not all lycanthropes share these characteristics. In fact, not all wolves do, either. (Wolves are no more prone to howling at the full moon than any other time of the year.)
both eat red meat "not human flesh" they both hunt mainly wild animals.
Sentence structure, unnecessary use of quotations. My suggestion: "Both creatures eat red meat, but not human flesh; they both hunt mainly wild animals."
In the Native American culture having the name "Ho-Ne-He" meaning "wolf" meant you're fast, cunning, swift, and intelligent.
Wasn't your paper on werewolves, wolves, and Native American culture? Your transitions between these ideas are very weak, and the paper doesn't have a tight flow.

There isn't one single "Native American culture." Which Native American tribe uses the name Ho-Ne-He? Make sure to specify. Also, you don't attach any kind of significance to the name. Again you should expound on your ideas: "Ho-Ne-He" meaning "wolf" meant you're fast, cunning, swift, and intelligent. This indicated that some cultures had a positive view of wolves, and that attributing wolf-like traits to people was actually a compliment. This view differs from (the other examples I mentioned,) where a person described as having wolf-like traits would have been thought to be demonic."
Now a days people come to accept others for the way they act.
Really?! This is a very generalized, very naive statement.

Most people who have the mental disease prefer to stay away from large quality of people to prevent harm of any type to anyone around them.
Which "mental disease?" Make sure the reader knows you're referring to Lycanthropy. You also say "most people" as if there's a significant number. Lycanthropy is in fact extraordinarily rare, and there have only been a tiny handful of reported cases in the history of psychiatry. Also, "large "quality" of people" should be either "large quantities of people," or more appropriately, "crowds of people."

Lycanthropes and wolves are similar in other ways even the experts can't grasp even to understand myself.
What do you mean? In what ways? You're begging the question. Also, sentence structure and grammar: "Lycanthropes and wolves are similar in ways that even the experts can't grasp." ("even to understand myself" doesn't make sense in this sentence.)
The world is filled with myths, legends, folklore,
You're repeating the first sentence of your essay verbatim.
and many other things that people try to grasp and understand but not many are willing to listen and discover the possibilities of what the world contains hidden under the curtain of lies, opinions, and facts.
Run-on sentence: "and many other things that people try to understand. Not many people are willing to listen (listen to what?) to discover the world's possibilities (passive versus active) under the curtain of lies, opinions, and facts (not sure this part makes much sense.)"
Please understand that seeing a wolf is not a sin, just observe it in its natural habitat and let this help you understand why.
This sentence directly addresses the reader, but assumes automatically that the reader would think "seeing a wolf is a sin."

Overall, your essay contains very little research besides what you blatantly copied and pasted from the internet. It lacks detail sufficient enough to cover the subject matter, and you have a large number of grammatical errors and examples of fairly poor writing. It doesn't seem that you put very much effort into it at all. I would give this a C-.

MLA guide for formatting and citations:

http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/557/01/

A few essay writing tips:

http://www.collegeboard.com/student/app ... /9406.html

ty Berserker but most of it was from memory and not copyrighted with your help i made an a+
and i appriciate all the help you had given me
The world lives in silence as we howl our hearts aloud

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Re: Research paper

Post by RedEye »

Moderator's warning:
Look, people; we CAN put limits on the number of words you can place in any one post.
The above posts show why these things are done; like the Wolf said: "Wall of Words".

I am not slamming your critique, Berserker. It was well done and well thought out. It would also fit nicely in the PM section, where it really belongs. All you would need to do then would be to comment "I've PM'd you with my opinion on your paper".

Werewolf boy, the same refers to you. You do not need to quote the whole post; just the parts you either want to comment on, or that you disagree with.

Get the idea?
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Re: Research paper

Post by Berserker »

RedEye wrote:Moderator's warning:
Look, people; we CAN put limits on the number of words you can place in any one post.
The above posts show why these things are done; like the Wolf said: "Wall of Words".

I am not slamming your critique, Berserker. It was well done and well thought out. It would also fit nicely in the PM section, where it really belongs. All you would need to do then would be to comment "I've PM'd you with my opinion on your paper".

Get the idea?

I've always thought the term "wall of text" was used on the Internet to refer to unformatted, unorganized, or incoherent posts which, when coupled with their extreme length, are basically illegible. Absent that criteria, "wall of text" and it's cousin, "too long, didn't read" become annoying in their dismissive laziness.

I understand your suggestion that the post might have been better as a PM due to its content, but I'm not fully on board with the protest against length itself.
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Re: Research paper

Post by WereWolfBoy »

i apologize about that
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Re: Research paper

Post by Wselfwulf »

Beserker, you bring me back to my 1st year grammar course. Damn I'm glad that's over. I'm surprised you didn't throw in 'middle voice', 'subjunctive' or 'determiner' in there. (This is a veiled compliment).

As for too much text, there is no impetus to read something you are not interested in, so nothing stopping someone from not reading it. I don't see the difference between multiple posts that amount to alot of text or one. I suppose it could be jarring in the middle of a conversation, but where does it end? I think the field length is something to leave alone.
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