"Why bother"

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JoshuaMadoc
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"Why bother"

Post by JoshuaMadoc » Mon Feb 08, 2016 6:56 am

Sometimes I just wonder why I bother. Got rejected twice in DA's biggest werewolf group, and I'm not in a hurry to get rejected a third time, I get the sinking feeling other fans are just trying to straight up avoid me, either because I'm too passive-aggressive for their liking, or the werewolves I draw is both too domesticated and simply not feral enough for them.

I get it. I'm part of a niche, we all are to some degree. But being a niche inside of a niche is just ridiculous. I might as well be masturbating at the worst of times, and that's somehow bad for an artist according to some armchair social science professors.

Holy s***, do I need a f*** drink or what

EDIT:

[23:05] <JoshuaMadoc> See the problem is this: werewolf fans are all "Stop this bullshit we want more variety with werewolves f*** Hollywood" and I'm like, "okay, here, how's that" and f*** nobody bats an eyelid, or worse, DA groups and s*** reject my submissions, even though it's clearly up to technical standards.
[23:05] <JoshuaMadoc> The rejections in particular was a sign that pretty much says "get your domesticated dogs out of our f*** group"
[23:05] <JoshuaMadoc> And I'm in no hurry to try a third time because of that
[23:06] <JoshuaMadoc> They said they want more variety
[23:06] <JoshuaMadoc> But there they are making the same f*** stories and doing the same f*** feral-a** designs
[23:06] <JoshuaMadoc> with longhairs going "bald" when they change

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Re: "Why bother"

Post by Meeper » Mon Feb 08, 2016 2:02 pm

I've backed out of the online artist communities entirely. I put my faith in one, it dried up. I put my faith in Artspots, but I knew it was a sinking ship. Deviant art isn't my taste and the others languish in various degrees of "Can I really show my family and friends this site?". About the only place I think I could be comfortable is Epilogue, but I don't have the requisite artistic proficiency to get past their basic quality control requirements.

I have other reasons, I'm not a prolific artist, people see me do some nice renderings and characters and somehow assume I can do that in hours or days, they don't understand what I go through, pain, migraines, I went temporarily blind a few years ago trying to force myself to work, for the sake of falling into that trap. The closest I come to using layers is clone blending different texture sources, it's a horribly inefficient and time consuming process, but it's the only one I know how to do. I came here to get away from community art hogs I was terrified would nag me for more art when I spend so much time in the desert on that, but then Lovec showed up and started nagging me for updates every other post till my energy went into answering him instead of having fun. So I don't feel like posting here anymore either.

Happily I don't care, I am first and foremost a hobby artist, I do it for kicks, especially telling people that I exclusively use a mouse, that always gets an incredulous gasp in digital art circles :P , but I kinda feel your pain, I can't really fit in anywhere specialized, either I'm too good for my own good, or not good enough.

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Re: "Why bother"

Post by JoshuaMadoc » Tue Feb 09, 2016 12:44 am

Meeper wrote:I've backed out of the online artist communities entirely. I put my faith in one, it dried up. I put my faith in Artspots, but I knew it was a sinking ship. Deviant art isn't my taste and the others languish in various degrees of "Can I really show my family and friends this site?". About the only place I think I could be comfortable is Epilogue, but I don't have the requisite artistic proficiency to get past their basic quality control requirements.

I have other reasons, I'm not a prolific artist, people see me do some nice renderings and characters and somehow assume I can do that in hours or days, they don't understand what I go through, pain, migraines, I went temporarily blind a few years ago trying to force myself to work, for the sake of falling into that trap. The closest I come to using layers is clone blending different texture sources, it's a horribly inefficient and time consuming process, but it's the only one I know how to do. I came here to get away from community art hogs I was terrified would nag me for more art when I spend so much time in the desert on that, but then Lovec showed up and started nagging me for updates every other post till my energy went into answering him instead of having fun. So I don't feel like posting here anymore either.

Happily I don't care, I am first and foremost a hobby artist, I do it for kicks, especially telling people that I exclusively use a mouse, that always gets an incredulous gasp in digital art circles :P , but I kinda feel your pain, I can't really fit in anywhere specialized, either I'm too good for my own good, or not good enough.

The Meeper.
Is it wrong of me to say that you're lucky that your issue is more an issue of skill, and much less an issue about having more friends to f*** around with? Because I definitely have very few to no people to really go insane with the whole "how far can we take werewolves as a concept" thing. It's either a lack of interest or just some hypocritical stance that there has to be a line drawn, and it's always the line where the only variety they ask for amounts to something to negligible that it's borderline insulting.

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Re: "Why bother"

Post by Meeper » Tue Feb 09, 2016 2:23 am

Hmm, my situation is a bit complicated, I'm not sure I have the language to explain it coherently, or how directly relevant it is, but in a sleep deprived stupor I'm going to be an idiot, make an utter fool of myself, and foolhardily try explain what makes me tick.

The parallel I had in mind was that we're both in a rut because of individual peculiarities, as mapped against the big picture of where we want to fit in. But since you mention it, I could even be in a worse predicament than yourself. I have no friends to goof off with. At all. Well, there are people who like me, and I kinda like them, but the friend connection that I understand most people take for granted is a tenuous one for me. Imagine all your friends are football fanatics and you're not, you go with them to football matches, smile at them having fun, but you can't get in on it...Now take that and apply it to literally almost everything. Even back in my heyday of the afore mentioned community that slowly evaporated, I was just kinda *there*, a dot in a sea of words. The things we do unite us, but if that wasn't there, people would be just things, subjects of curiosity yet somewhat unrelateable and separate to me. Sure I can do a passable impersonation of "normality" and fly under people's radar, but that's just dodging the issues entirely on my part, a compensation mechanism that doesn't fix the problem it's masking.

I took up art as a way to interact with my environment and other people, and assimilate stuff, and provide a way to give people a hook or lever to at least give the illusion of being close to me, and I regularly beat my brain up trying to get good, because if I didn't do something, there's a good chance I never would form any real bond with anybody. Several people suggest it's Asperger's syndrome, there's certainly a possibility of brain damage, etc etc. I could go on about that but the point is I see a of parallel of sorts.

I'm going to take a long break from this thread, give myself time to think things through. Sorry if I melted your brain :P

The Meeper.
While the empty can may rattle the most, of equal or potentially greater import is what the reputably quiet cans are really full of.
All names are but souvenirs, in the end. Make good of your stay, so that they hold happy memories ~ Some guy.
Wise men speak because they have something to say. Fools speak because they have to say something.
To a man with a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

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Re: "Why bother"

Post by JoshuaMadoc » Tue Feb 16, 2016 12:13 am

I'd also like to reiterate how much I feel like I'm ruining the werewolf fandom by pretty much making them into "superheroes", when the least I've done is just give them clothes to keep their balls and tits from flying everywhere, and tools and weapons tailored for their giant hands. God forbid I make "superheroes" out of a creature that hypocrites insist on portraying as a f*** monster who kills people and makes drama out of human survivors of werewolf attacks, just because the latter can't keep their f*** stomach to themselves.

I really shouldn't feel like that. I ORIGINALLY didn't feel like that. But I'm unfortunately also extremely insecure that I keep thinking that those hypocrites are making me think that it's wrong.

Oh my god, I'm so sorry I'm saying all of this.

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Re: "Why bother"

Post by Volkodlak » Tue Feb 16, 2016 2:12 am

Joshua do not bother with people who dislike your views and make you feel like you are ruining werewolfs well in some way we are similar i too like diffrent ˝werewolf˝ design witch most werewolf fans hate even on this forum 99% of members are not fan of them and i do not care as you should not and focus on those who like your art and views and you are not ruining werewolfs.



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Re: "Why bother"

Post by Meeper » Tue Feb 16, 2016 11:43 pm

JoshuaMadoc wrote:Oh my god, I'm so sorry I'm saying all of this.
Nothing wrong with venting once in a while. :wink:

Y'know what? Werewolves are such a "ruined" concept already, long before you got to it, and long before the little fan group you have there got to it. It's been bastardized and exploited every which way. From Teen Wolf to Battle Dogs. And that's just films. I could make a strong case for all the originating wood cuts and folklore everybody treats as werewolf gospel being a croc of old rot too, and map it back and forth, one to one, with what people do with it now. Anyone who seriously lays claim to the perfect werewolf archetype is either full of it, or not very bright. That said, people are entitled to form groups to their interests and maintain "integrity"

All we have is our best ideas we feel at home with. What that group has are a few opinionated individuals, that's all. If the group's spiritual leaders don't like your brand of werewolf rot, it's then becomes just another a religious argument among fans. Do you really want to join the ranks? Now that may seem a cop out, from my POV it's a safe play because I don't know the group at all, maybe if I did I'd put together a logical hammer to clobber them over the head with, or clobber you over the head. I spend a good deal of time logically clobbering myself over the head, it's fun! It keeps me prepared for when someone else does it to me :P

Anyway, that's all I got for now, I'm off to nurse yet another headache.

The Meeper.
While the empty can may rattle the most, of equal or potentially greater import is what the reputably quiet cans are really full of.
All names are but souvenirs, in the end. Make good of your stay, so that they hold happy memories ~ Some guy.
Wise men speak because they have something to say. Fools speak because they have to say something.
To a man with a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

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