Do you really consider the Pack Family?

[PariahPoet]

listen jokerwolf your having that "what if" attitude which brings done alot of things so stop thinking "what if this or this or this happens" and start working on a solution! also you have to be able to tolorate because life is not fair and you have to be able to be mature anoth to deal with it

Lukas, stop being a jerk. She made this post because of me, so stop attacking her. This is exactly the kind of thing she was talking about that drove me away from the Pack. If you aren't going to be supportive then just just don't post at all. It doesn't seem to have brought anyone else down, until your post.
Work on a solution? How do you solve people being hateful? hmm? I'd welcome any input as it would make my life MUCH easier.

[Lukas]

me being a jerk? i dont consider that insulting im just answearing the way i answear things, somtimes you have to rebuttle posts and tahts what i did but i guess im not allowed that so i guess ill jsut have to delelte my opinion

[PariahPoet]

There's no reason to be mean to Joker for a post she made on my behalf. No one else jumped on her, how do you think it's supposed to help the situation on the pack to do so?

[Lukas]

okey i see your point ill just delete my post and settle this, i dont want this to escalate

[PariahPoet]

Ok, listen, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have jumped on you either. You have as much right to your oppinions as I do. I just wish we could all get along without worrying that what we post is going to start a flame war.

[PariahPoet]

But yeah, I wouldn't mind getting admin to delete my posts as well.

[Teh_DarkJokerWolf]

listen jokerwolf your having that "what if" attitude which brings done alot of things so stop thinking "what if this or this or this happens" and start working on a solution! also you have to be able to tolorate because life is not fair and you have to be able to be mature anoth to deal with it

Lukas, stop being a jerk. She made this post because of me, so stop attacking her. This is exactly the kind of thing she was talking about that drove me away from the Pack. If you aren't going to be supportive then just just don't post at all. It doesn't seem to have brought anyone else down, until your post.
Work on a solution? How do you solve people being hateful? hmm? I'd welcome any input as it would make my life MUCH easier.

How long have you been around to actually say this to me? *sighs* If I notice you only joined this year..I am not at all starting anything. I just want peace here if I can't have it at home..Alot of folks have felt the same way I have..This is what I didn't want..I only wanted to help at all in the first place..I don't want any of you getting hurt, especially the ones I really care about on here..I'm glad this post wasn't deleted though..I so didn't want this to turn sour, as it was just a concern issue..

Scott Gardener


I agree Scott..It was indeed a treat to meet some many of you that day..It made me feel better to know I really have friends out there. I look forward to seeing all you there too Hopefully we'll see some new faces out there this time around

[Lukas]

if you just noticed the 2 post arguement between my and Poet you can see anther quality of this site: were welling to let go of petty matters for teh better of the pack

[vrikasatma]

For what it's worth, I think the Pack is one of the better and friendliest boards I've been on.

Families fight, sure. But eventually, yes, you either kiss and make up or just agree to stay out of each others' hair, in the interest of keeping the peace. Or at least stomp out of the room and refuse to talk with another family member that annoys you...either way, fights flare up, fights die down.

Speaking from many years of online experience, it can get A LOT worse than this. At one extreme, I was on a BBS that got attacked by and eventually taken over and ruined by trolls because the admin was a practicing anarchist and just sat back and let it go wherever it would. On another extreme, the slightly-less-anarchic E-Playa numbers in the five figures and has a cadre of tricksters, trolls, jerks and outright bastards that cruise around harassing and bullying everyone, and the board regularly crashes as a result of spambot, refusal-of-service and other hacker-type attacks. We just got hit with one on 9/11/06 and it took the mods and sysadmin two weeks to come back from that one. They try to keep a handle on the madness by implementing the Buddy List/Ignore List/ Disallow Contact List software that phpBB boards have as an option. It...usually works.

So far...the mods and admin of this board haven't needed to use the Ignore/Disallow Contact/Buddy list option. I count that as a good sign, because we're not out of control yet. I'm fairly confident we won't need that because I'm fairly confident that, unlike the Crash Worship BBS and the E-Playa, we're all moving along pretty much the same tack and civility if not friendliness is a major ethos here.

[Kirk Hammett]

I gotta agree with Vrikasatma there. (About needing to use disallow etc).

[Vuldari]

This is a very emotional topic.



"Family" ... Is THE PACK a "Family"?

I think there are alot of Family-Like qualities to the way we treat each other around here...

...for example, alot of the ranting going on in this thread reminds me a bit of the way my brother and I used to fight before we moved apart. ...and we would fight ALOT...though we love each other very much.


However, I don't think I would really call this group a Family. The similarities are there...but the relationships are very different. ...and there are SO MANY of us...


I guess I could say I am one of the 'Elder' counsel that has been here since this groups beginnings. I would be lying if I said this doesn't make me feel a little arrogant sometimes. I am quick to tell others what they can or can-not do or say, and am less afraid to call judgement on other members when I dissaprove of thier implied attitudes than I was back when I still felt like just another "John Doe" face in the crowd.

Out of this arrogance I have said things that I never should have said...or at least should have been more considerate and forgiving about. I have no right to behave that way...and I'm very sorry.



...however, one of the reasons why I take such a firm stance on some issues (even seemingly insignificant things like choices of phrasings of ones opinions) is because I Too recognise and highly value the unique friendliness and openmindedness I find among this group, and I fight, ('aggresively' at times, and others...just plain 'rudely') to preserve the order, and snuff out the sparks that could potentially grow into a flame-war later on while they are still but insignificant embers, (like a poor choice of words, or an ill-advised suggestion).

Unfortunately, I've not learned how to stomp out the sparks without stomping on peoples feet at the same time, and some members, (Old and New) have been getting hurt.


(...oh...and I'm a little too fond of metaphors, which can make me difficult to understand sometimes, as you can see...)




I would like to thank Teh_DarkJokerWolf for starting this thread and bringing this trend to all of our attention.

I know this thread is not about me, (at least not Entirely), but I can't help but notice that I have become part of the problem with some of my recent attitudes.


I'll try to not be such a Mean Big Brother any more in this funny little 'Psudo-Family' of ours that we call "THE PACK".
(Concequently, that was how my fights with my Brother usually went down as well. I was so busy telling him everything he did wrong, trying to teach him to be a better person, that I forgot to just step back and let him be himself sometimes.)


Family or not, we are a colorful bunch of friends tied together by an unconventional common interest, and you know what?...that's Worth something to me, and I wouldn't trade this group for any other in the world.


...Long Live "THE PACK"



..............................................................................................................................................................

[Figarou]

However, I don't think I would really call this group a Family. The similarities are there...but the relationships are very different. ...and there are SO MANY of us...

I agree.

Where I work...I don't call the other people who work there "family." I just call them "co-workers." And if we all have a picnic...its a "company picnic," not a "family picnic." Imagine if the company has 12,000 employees. There is no way I can know all of them. So how can they all be considered "family?"

I see everyone here as "friends." Or...Packmates. Thats the best way to put it.

Sure...we all have our arguements. The closer we are to each other..the more likely an arguement will start. For example...."room-mates." An arguement can start from something simple as "who's turn is it to wash the dishes?"

But since this is a forum...we are not living with each other. We don't even "see" each other. Yet an arguement can occur from a simple disagreement. To me...thats almost like Road Rage. Someone cuts you off, and you get angry about it.

[fredriksam]

Of all the different forum i visits, this is the best of all them. Sure i see sometimes there can be some heated discussions but then again, thats how it is in the world.

All cant think or like the very same. I think this is a very good thing. I know i wrote some stupid posts in the very beginning, but thats probably forgotten by now.

I must give a eloge to Figarou for making a good job. Very funny with these duckies and all that. Fun also with posts that become very off topic. Its funny seeing what people like and how things become off topic, but not for them. We dont see what they see at all times.

Another thing MattSullivan said: There cant be a perfect werewolf movie. Why? Simply because we are different and value different thing in the movies. Personally i think all 3 big movies will rock big time. (Freeborn, Camp Lycanthrope and Hour Of Darkness)

I have never felt being "jumped" on. In my family we never or rarely speak about werewolves. Here however i read and talk about it and thats a nice thing for me.

Thanks for the support about Keno being sick. Even if the topic has been about chocolate lately .

And lastly


LONG LIVE THE PACK

[Anook]

Yeah, I don't know who started they chocolate thing, but I post my response anyway.

[Moon_Lover]

I'll take the blame for that...I just didn't expect it to blow out of proportion so badly (You'd think I'd realize it after the time I've been here...)

[PariahPoet]

Ok, well after officially breaking my post strike on Tony's cat makeup thread I guess I'll offer my thoughts on this thread.

My situation was part of the reason Joker posted this. After the tiff in the "anti-yiff/hentai thread" I decided I had no interest in the Pack anymore. Not so much because of what Anubis said (he sent me a pm apologising a couple days after it was over, which I appreciate and shows maturity on his part), I harbor him no ill will. What hurt me is that despite the fact that I've come to the defense of half the people on the Pack during these flame wars at one point or another since I joined, apparently nobody cared enough to jump in and tell him "hey, shut up" during the duration of the argument. As much as I've stood up for people nobody could be bothered to do the same for me.

I still feel a bit betrayed by the whole group, so no, I really don't consider the Pack family anymore. I decided I would still lurk to keep up with the status of the movie because I still believe in what Tony is creating. I wasn't doing it to try to prove a point or make a statement. I'm not so arrogant as to think that my presence or abscence on the board would make much difference in the overall scheme of things. I just wanted to avoid the arguments and things that would upset me further.

Someday I will learn not to put so much faith in people or hold everyone to overly high standards. It saddens me what is happening to the Pack. It is the same thing that happened with Therianthropy.org. It is becoming a den of elitists, "troo-weres", and firestarters. Not that everyone or even the majority of people here fit that description. Those just tend to be the more vocal in the group, so they seem more prevalent. Unfortunately there does not seem to be much that can be done to reverse this trend. Greater numbers or members will always mean a greater number of idiots.

(as a footnote, I know that I am not without blame. I've been in a lot of arguments, and stepped on quite a few toes and hurt some feelings, so for that I am sorry. I try not to contribute to the increasingly lousy atmosphere of the Pack, but I screw up as much as the next person)

[BlackWolfDS]

ouch

[Moon_Lover]

Honestly, PariahPoet, I can understand you viewpoint, though I disagree with it, if only in part.
There have been times that I have mentioned to others what problems have been going on in the forums, and hope that they are broken up before the flames get too hot and someone gets burned.
I have a very small part of my day that am able to post on the web, and it's only spots thoughout that time that I am able to get onto The Pack. Eventually, I will get to a truly dependant line, and that would solve my problem. The reason I mention this is because of the fact that I do not always have time to read every topic, and find out what is going on. If I notice someone is about to light a match, I will fully attempt to spray them with the moral waterhose.
I know that I would not be able to stop you, but I have personally enjoyed your opinions in this forum, and would enjoy it more if you were to post here.
One last thought: I am perfectly willing to defend you and any other person on a topic (assuming I agree...). I simply have to figure out if you want that help.

[Avareis]

Family?.....Well..l...umm...I...I won't say I love you guys or anything....And if it's money you're after I'm broke so....Family? Let's just be friends. I'm against commitment. (gulp)

[Timber-WoIf]

lol...

[Figarou]

Family?.....Well..l...umm...I...I won't say I love you guys or anything....And if it's money you're after I'm broke so....Family? Let's just be friends. I'm against commitment. (gulp)

Awwww.....

Well....can I borrow the car?

[SGrayWolf]

It's been a helluva long time since I last posted on here but that's mainly because I tend to go into quiet spells from time to time.

This thread is as good as any to post in as there's a TON to catch up on and read, as always. (which is a good thing)

Now... about the initial family subject of this thread, let me see if I can grease my noggin up into somewhat of a understandable fashion with a few of my thoughts since I rarely post on forums nowadays...

There is a lot of individuals that frequent here and so it is easy for someone to feel 'lost in the crowd' at a given moment, regardless of how long you've been around or who you are. Saying this, I believe an effective counter is for one to hold firm onto something concrete that will keep you grounded, so to speak. What is that concrete common bond here? The love for werewolves as no matter what else happens, we can all (hopefully) relate and keep true to THAT aspect as to why we are here in the first place. If you want or desire a stronger family feeling then work on and improve that relationship. If you want a closer relationship with a select few then improve those relationships or if you'd rather sit back and be a sideliner, then do that. Only you know what you want out of something.

Yes, there will be rude people that will say rude things but that is unavoidable anywhere in life. I'm guilty of being a jerk at times as we all probably are. I think too much, I worry too much and I'm most likely too sensitive of a person as well but as I see certain things (of myself) as negatives, others see the same things as positives.

So what is a possible solution? Improve yourself and no one else. You work on improving yourself as a person and do not worry about anyone elses faults. If everyone were to do this, you'd be amazed at the results.

This forum is amazing, truly it is as it has given many many people a common "home" to relate with and at the same time, gives everyone wonderful opportunities to make a difference with something awesome. Keep those positive thoughts out front and strong when something negative happens. Keep yourself strong to those positive feelings. Always.

I've jabbered far too much though as I tend to do when I write posts. Naughty passion, gets me into trouble more often than not.

[Set]

Pariah, there's one thing you need to keep in mind: not all of us read every post in every section of the boards. I avoid the forum games, roleplaying, classifieds, conventions, and creative den because I simply don't have the interest/time to look at it all. Not everyone may have seen that thread.

[PariahPoet]

One last thought: I am perfectly willing to defend you and any other person on a topic (assuming I agree...). I simply have to figure out if you want that help.

I know, and I do appreciate you trying to talk down the firestarters.

Pariah, there's one thing you need to keep in mind: not all of us read every post in every section of the boards. I avoid the forum games, roleplaying, classifieds, conventions, and creative den because I simply don't have the interest/time to look at it all. Not everyone may have seen that thread.

Yes, this is very true. There have been many arguments I was not able to try and cool off just because I did not see them. But there were a lot of people who did see it.

But in any case, I really don't want to turn this thread into a conversation about what happened with me. That was just one example of a growing problem on the Pack. What I am afraid of is that this will continue until this place is no longer the friendly open group we've come to love.

[Kirk Hammett]

I still feel a bit betrayed by the whole group, so no, I really don't consider the Pack family anymore.

Now in my defence, I wasn't even in that conversation, or knew any such argument existed (I meant this comment as a joke not an attack, btw, haha, but I'm telling the truth, I never saw it occuring, but if I did, and though I -despise- conflict, I'd stick up for you, of course, if I agreed with you ).

---------------

I've jabbered far too much though as I tend to do when I write posts. Naughty passion, gets me into trouble more often than not.

I jabber on all the time, and even when they never get read, I feel better getting it out!

EDIT

But in any case, I really don't want to turn this thread into a conversation about what happened with me. That was just one example of a growing problem on the Pack. What I am afraid of is that this will continue until this place is no longer the friendly open group we've come to love.

It sucks doesn't it . When people get to know each other a lot more, they begin picking out others' bad points, and they start believing they have the ability to shout and still be liked. It doesn't always work that way. I have to admit, that a few people on here I spoke to, I started seeing some bad points. I'll mention no names, mostly because I realised those points weren't really bad after all, and they were totally awesome individuals.

But at first I was afraid of these people and reluctant to start any conversation with them. But now I sort of just rethink my view and look for good points...since I don't know anybody here in real life, how can I judge anyone perfectly? I'm sure a lot of people find me weird, or annoying in some way. And you're entitled to feel that way, I can't stop you.