pointless talking
George: Dick where are my pretzels?
Dick: Sorry George, you can't have those anymore.
George: Well, why not?
Dick: Remember the incident a while back?
George: Oh right. Well is there anything that I haven't choked on yet?
Dick: Pudding George, pudding
George: Pudding? but I don't want......Ooohh chocolate!
Dick: Here's your Spongebob spoon. What do you say?
George: Thank you Dick.
Dick: Sorry George, you can't have those anymore.
George: Well, why not?
Dick: Remember the incident a while back?
George: Oh right. Well is there anything that I haven't choked on yet?
Dick: Pudding George, pudding
George: Pudding? but I don't want......Ooohh chocolate!
Dick: Here's your Spongebob spoon. What do you say?
George: Thank you Dick.
Dulce et decorum est pro patria mori 
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MoonKit
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- Gender: Female
- Mood: Indifferent
- Location: In Hiding
Bossman couldnt afford to pay the few employees that he did have cuz it was an already small company. So me and another girl were downsized since we didnt know too much about the actual business and we were just there to do office work. It sucks. But oh well, hopefully ill find something soon. Theres not much in the area but the good news is that if I get a job as a receptionist somewhere else, I should be getting a pay raise.White Paw wrote:MoonKit wrote:Job hunting is turning me into a bum. Its been over two weeks and Im getting lazy. I didnt even get up until 11:30 today and Ive been wearing pajamas all week. I need to find a job quick before I lose my mind.
what happened to the job you were at???????????
You are the only light there is for yourself my friend
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Timber-WoIf
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- Joined: Fri Oct 21, 2005 2:55 pm
- Location: Louisville, KY (i miss jet noise...)
you may know that the contry morning show is the only conntry morning show in the area, but did you know the host of the country morning show EATS BABIES?
they say you are what you eat, so that makes the host of the contry morning show A BABY.
So if you like the country morning show, that kind of makes you A PEDIFILE, now doesn't it?
they say you are what you eat, so that makes the host of the contry morning show A BABY.
So if you like the country morning show, that kind of makes you A PEDIFILE, now doesn't it?
<--- THEY PWN U
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Moon_Lover
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- Location: Earth (Usually)
Unfortunately, as it turns out, family was called due to some unexpected complications at the funeral. They were hysterical upon recieving the news, and demanded to know what exactly had been the reason such an honorable man wasn't even in his coffin yet.Associated Press wrote:CREATOR OF 'THE HOKEY POKEY' DIES
Every schoolchild in America knows the Hokey Pokey. You put your right foot in, you put your right foot out... well, you know what it's all about.
What you might not know is who wrote the song. That's right. Someone actually wrote "The Hokey Pokey."
For many baby boomers and their children, the Hokey Pokey is simply part of the national legacy, right up there with Mother Goose and Twister.
The Hokey Pokey, it turns out, isn't so old after all.
LaPrise, a Detroit native whose full name was Roland Lawrence LaPrise, concocted the song along with two fellow musicians in the late 1940s for the apres ski crowd at a nightclub in Sun Valley, Idaho. The group, the Ram Trio, recorded the song in 1949.
Larry LaPrise, aka The Hokey Pokey Man, died recently at age 83 in Boise, Idaho, after a career that brought him no fame, modest fortune, and a job with the Postal Service.
The hesitation has been acknowledged in the director's voice when he mentioned, "It all started when we put the right foot in..."
You can run, you can hide, but I'll still pounce on you and lick you silly.
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Okamiotoko
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- Location: New York
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BlackWolfDS
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- Custom Title: Lone Wolf and Biologist
Darwin Awards
The Bricklayer
1998 Urban Legend (This is a fake but the makers put it into the Darwin Awards Book because of it's creativity.
)
Accident Report
This one needs an introduction, so you won't be lost at the beginning. This man was in an accident at work, so he filled out an insurance claim. The insurance company contacted him and asked for more information. This was his response:
"I am writing in response to your request for additional information, for block number 3 of the accident reporting form. I put 'poor planning' as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain more fully and I trust the following detail will be sufficient. I am an amateur radio operator and on the day of the accident, I was working alone on the top section of my new 80-foot tower. When I had completed my work, I discovered that I had, over the course of several trips up the tower, brought up about 300 pounds of tools and spare hardware. Rather than carry the now unneeded tools and material down by hand, I decided to lower the items down in a small barrel by using the pulley attached to the gin pole at the top of the tower. Securing the rope at ground level, I went to the top of the tower and loaded the tools and material into the barrel. Then I went back to the ground and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow decent of the 300 pounds of tools."
"You will note in block number 11 of the accident reporting form that I weigh only 155 pounds. Due to my surprise of being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rather rapid rate of speed up the side of the tower. In the vicinity of the 40-foot level, I met the barrel coming down. This explains my fractured skull and broken collarbone. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately, by this time, I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold onto the rope in spite of my pain. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of tools hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel."
"Devoid of the weight of the tools, the barrel now weighed approximately 20 pounds. I refer you again to my weight in block number 11. As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the tower. In the vicinity of the 40-foot level, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, and the lacerations of my legs and lower body. The encounter with the barrel slowed me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell onto the pile of tools and, fortunately, only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay there on the tools, in pain, unable to stand and watching the empty barrel 80 feet above me, I again lost my presence of mind. I let go of the rope..."
The Bricklayer
1998 Urban Legend (This is a fake but the makers put it into the Darwin Awards Book because of it's creativity.
)Accident Report
This one needs an introduction, so you won't be lost at the beginning. This man was in an accident at work, so he filled out an insurance claim. The insurance company contacted him and asked for more information. This was his response:
"I am writing in response to your request for additional information, for block number 3 of the accident reporting form. I put 'poor planning' as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain more fully and I trust the following detail will be sufficient. I am an amateur radio operator and on the day of the accident, I was working alone on the top section of my new 80-foot tower. When I had completed my work, I discovered that I had, over the course of several trips up the tower, brought up about 300 pounds of tools and spare hardware. Rather than carry the now unneeded tools and material down by hand, I decided to lower the items down in a small barrel by using the pulley attached to the gin pole at the top of the tower. Securing the rope at ground level, I went to the top of the tower and loaded the tools and material into the barrel. Then I went back to the ground and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow decent of the 300 pounds of tools."
"You will note in block number 11 of the accident reporting form that I weigh only 155 pounds. Due to my surprise of being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rather rapid rate of speed up the side of the tower. In the vicinity of the 40-foot level, I met the barrel coming down. This explains my fractured skull and broken collarbone. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately, by this time, I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold onto the rope in spite of my pain. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of tools hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel."
"Devoid of the weight of the tools, the barrel now weighed approximately 20 pounds. I refer you again to my weight in block number 11. As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the tower. In the vicinity of the 40-foot level, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, and the lacerations of my legs and lower body. The encounter with the barrel slowed me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell onto the pile of tools and, fortunately, only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay there on the tools, in pain, unable to stand and watching the empty barrel 80 feet above me, I again lost my presence of mind. I let go of the rope..."
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Moon_Lover
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- Custom Title: "Look, Ma! He's smiling!"
- Location: Earth (Usually)
The Arizona Highway Patrol were mystified when they came upon a pile of smoldering wreckage embedded in the side of a cliff rising above the road at the apex of a curve. The metal debris resembled the site of an airplane crash, but it turned out to be the vaporized remains of an automobile. The make of the vehicle was unidentifiable at the scene.
The folks in the lab finally figured out what it was, and pieced together the events that led up to its demise.
It seems that a former Air Force sergeant had somehow got hold of a JATO (Jet Assisted Take-Off) unit. JATO units are solid fuel rockets used to give heavy military transport airplanes an extra push for take-off from short airfields.
Dried desert lakebeds are the location of choice for breaking the world ground vehicle speed record. The sergeant took the JATO unit into the Arizona desert and found a long, straight stretch of road. He attached the JATO unit to his car, jumped in, accelerated to a high speed, and fired off the rocket.
The facts, as best as could be determined, are as follows:
The operator was driving a 1967 Chevy Impala. He ignited the JATO unit approximately 3.9 miles from the crash site. This was established by the location of a prominently scorched and melted strip of asphalt. The vehicle quickly reached a speed of between 250 and 300 mph and continued at that speed, under full power, for an additional 20-25 seconds. The soon-to-be pilot experienced G-forces usually reserved for dog-fighting F-14 jocks under full afterburners.
The Chevy remained on the straight highway for approximately 2.6 miles (15-20 seconds) before the driver applied the brakes, completely melting them, blowing the tires, and leaving thick rubber marks on the road surface. The vehicle then became airborne for an additional 1.3 miles, impacted the cliff face at a height of 125 feet, and left a blackened crater 3 feet deep in the rock.
Most of the driver's remains were not recovered; however, small fragments of bone, teeth, and hair were extracted from the crater, and fingernail and bone shards were removed from a piece of debris believed to be a portion of the steering wheel.
The folks in the lab finally figured out what it was, and pieced together the events that led up to its demise.
It seems that a former Air Force sergeant had somehow got hold of a JATO (Jet Assisted Take-Off) unit. JATO units are solid fuel rockets used to give heavy military transport airplanes an extra push for take-off from short airfields.
Dried desert lakebeds are the location of choice for breaking the world ground vehicle speed record. The sergeant took the JATO unit into the Arizona desert and found a long, straight stretch of road. He attached the JATO unit to his car, jumped in, accelerated to a high speed, and fired off the rocket.
The facts, as best as could be determined, are as follows:
The operator was driving a 1967 Chevy Impala. He ignited the JATO unit approximately 3.9 miles from the crash site. This was established by the location of a prominently scorched and melted strip of asphalt. The vehicle quickly reached a speed of between 250 and 300 mph and continued at that speed, under full power, for an additional 20-25 seconds. The soon-to-be pilot experienced G-forces usually reserved for dog-fighting F-14 jocks under full afterburners.
The Chevy remained on the straight highway for approximately 2.6 miles (15-20 seconds) before the driver applied the brakes, completely melting them, blowing the tires, and leaving thick rubber marks on the road surface. The vehicle then became airborne for an additional 1.3 miles, impacted the cliff face at a height of 125 feet, and left a blackened crater 3 feet deep in the rock.
Most of the driver's remains were not recovered; however, small fragments of bone, teeth, and hair were extracted from the crater, and fingernail and bone shards were removed from a piece of debris believed to be a portion of the steering wheel.
You can run, you can hide, but I'll still pounce on you and lick you silly.
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Lupin
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I dunno, those postal service jobs can be pretty nice.Associated Press wrote: Larry LaPrise, aka The Hokey Pokey Man, died recently at age 83 in Boise, Idaho, after a career that brought him no fame, modest fortune, and a job with the Postal Service.
I don't suffer from lycanthropy, I enjoy every minute of it! 
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Moon_Lover
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- Location: Earth (Usually)
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BlackWolfDS
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Moon_Lover
- Legendary
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- Joined: Mon Sep 11, 2006 7:16 pm
- Custom Title: "Look, Ma! He's smiling!"
- Location: Earth (Usually)
