Beautiful But Painful

[PariahPoet]

I can safely say I do not date women with this disorder because it is a turn-off, and mostly because it says alot about how weak their will power appears to be. Or it could be saying they are emotionally unstable, depending on the situation. I say this out of experiance, so don't get mad at me over what I feel is right.

It is not a lack of will. It is a solution. I have not intentionally hurt myself in over a year now, I did not magically grow a huge case of willpower, my situation in life has improved. Anyone who says self-injurers are weak has obviously never hit rock bottom. (by the way- psych is my major)
And you merely had to quote the one and only actual opinion in the entire post rather than comment on the facts. Why? I would much rather you give your own factual psychological perspective from your degree. (Different colleges sometimes teach different approches to the same subject matter.) It's much more constructive than you claiming that I am emotionally inept.

Anyone who has ever had a broken heart has hit rock bottom. It really hurts to have someone tell me that I "obviously" haven't been there, when they have no idea whatsoever. Up until this point I've been very considerate, and never have I attacked any one person in particular in this forum. I mentioned this subject because I worry about The Pack members that do cutting. I felt that I should at least say something, rather than ignore what I feel is a real problem. Should I just claim that I'm being sarcastic and say "sorry for caring"?

[Terastas]

I understand the act of protest, but here's the thing: protest is a form of attention-seeking. The cause can vary from person to person, but the bottom line is still that people only do this for the attention.

And no offense, but in my mind, it's people that have the drive required for fasting that do not need to stitch their lips shut. I can only think of two reasons why somebody would need to stitch their lips shut to refrain from eating, talking, etc. One is that they lack the willpower required to fast, and the other, more believable reason, is that they want everyone to know they are fasting. To me, having so much concern for whether or not people know and/or believe you are fasting seriously negates any spiritual and/or psychological value one could attain through it.

It's human nature to want attention, but you don't need to mutilate yourself to get it. I crave attention, but I'm trying to get mine by writing a book. That's just one of a million ways that you could get yours.

the point of protesting is to bring attention 2 urself.

That's exactly what I said; people do this hoping others will notice.

And no offense Z, but the level of hostility you have demonstrated to everyone that thinks differently is not helping your argument. This is borderlining on flaming, and were I still a mod, such would have been dealt with by now. Do not, I repeat, do not attempt to incite any more conflict than you already have.

[lupine]

WOAH!

Any chance we can calm things down in here?

I understand that the subject of self harm is a VERY sensitive one.

Likening it to suicide is wrong. I have lost a VERY close loved one to suicide. I have incredibly strong feelings against it, and am afraid to say , I have very little sympathy for people who attempt or succeed in it.

I don't really understand how the self harming thing works to be honest, but at least they are not running away from their issues/problems. If it helps them deal with things, if that works for them, fine. Although I do think that people who harm themseves should seek counselling of some description.

If the self harm is for expression or a form of attention seeking, then in my book it falls in with body modification. Which brings me back to my original post...

It was something I stumbled across in a magazine I subscribe to(

http://www.bizarremag.com/).

I found it fascinating and beautiful and was curious of others feelings on it.
It has though...got a bit heated, to the point where I fear tempers will be lost....BIG TIME!
Please can we have a bit of good nature and return to the spirit of The Pack ?
It's good to have an opinion, but please try and be articulate and considerate while expressing them. Otherwise your just gonna bait people.

[Darth Canis]

Everything will be allright guys i promise it will. Hehe yeah i would never have body modification done it just looks like it would hurt to much. But i do like the way the end result of the scaring looks verses a tattoo. I plan on getting a tattoo in the near future as a kind of celebration from graduating from college. It will be wolf centered of course... i want to look like the first avatar i ever had on this board lmao along time ago..... basically the image of a wolf paw inside the outline of a human hand. It has various meanings for me and i believe that is what tattoos and body modification is all about meaning for that specific person.

[Teh_DarkJokerWolf]

Alright time to step in now...Again..

As far as I'm concerned unless you have yourself been a cutter, you can't come back an say such things. You don't an can't ever truly understand what goes through ones head you've been there. This constant insults from some of you has to stop an will stop. This subject was not bothering me till now. You all need to chill out an stop flaming those who know what they are talking about..I know I said not everyone is right, but on such a topic as this many things read by myself I see as truth. If this disrespect continues I will not hesitate to lock this thread..Respect an you will be respected.


EDIT.

Now you people are jumping back an forth here about cutting an the meaning of wanting attention..The lady who had her back cut an the people who stitch their mouth shut, that is a good attention grabber..It is something they do to be different. People who cut themselves out of inner pain a stress, it might not seem like a good attention grabber an it might not be intentional..But it ends up turning ugly if someone sees it. Sometime these people will cut right in front of folks..Most likey because they don't care or they just hurt to bad. Not everyone is out to keep themselves, but to relieve stress an if is how they do it that's on them.

You can't attack someone for doing something that helps them. Now there are people who want to die an of course not everyone knows what is going through ones head. If you do see someone doing such a thing..Calling them stupid I'm sure won't help them to get better..Never know when something you say could drive one to kill themselves. Alot of folks do this. Not just adults but children..

[Kaebora]

I can safely say I do not date women with this disorder because it is a turn-off, and mostly because it says alot about how weak their will power appears to be. Or it could be saying they are emotionally unstable, depending on the situation. I say this out of experiance, so don't get mad at me over what I feel is right.

It is not a lack of will. It is a solution. I have not intentionally hurt myself in over a year now, I did not magically grow a huge case of willpower, my situation in life has improved. Anyone who says self-injurers are weak has obviously never hit rock bottom. (by the way- psych is my major)

And you merely had to quote the one and only actual opinion in the entire post rather than comment on the facts. Why? I would much rather you give your own factual psychological perspective from your degree. (Different colleges sometimes teach different approches to the same subject matter.) It's much more constructive than you claiming that I am emotionally inept.

Anyone who has ever had a broken heart has hit rock bottom. It really hurts to have someone tell me that I "obviously" haven't been there, when they have no idea whatsoever. Up until this point I've been very considerate, and never have I attacked any one person in particular in this forum. I mentioned this subject because I worry about The Pack members that do cutting. I felt that I should at least say something, rather than ignore what I feel is a real problem. Should I just claim that I'm being sarcastic and say "sorry for caring"?

[PariahPoet]

I never said that you have never hurt, everyone has, but not all to the same degree. I don't know what's happened to you, but everyone has had a broken heart. What I was saying is that you either had a better support system in your friends and family or some other way of dealing with it that you have notbeen left with hurting yourself as the only way to mend your mental pain.

[MoonKit]

I clearly stated in my previous post that self-harm and suicide are not the same. This is my field, remember?
Now-while saying someone's actions are stupid is not exactly the same as saying the person him/herself is stupid, the two are dangerously close. The implication is that stupid people make stupid decisions. Not to mention that is terribly judgemental. Would you be happy if I went around saying that liking/owning ferrets is completely stupid?

I would disagree and tell you why I dont believe thats true. I wouldnt really get angry. Trust me, there are a lot of people who do think ferrets are ugly or gross or smelly.

[Kaebora]

If you must know, it is strictly against my Christian faith to harm myself in any way. "The body is thine temple." I would never harm myself, nor would I ever want to. When I was much younger, cutting never once crossed my mind, but suicide did. I used to have some serious depression problems, but it never led to cutting. Depression does not nessesarilly lead to cutting, in fact the concept was not widely known until the the 1990's. In my perspective the two things have little in common, and thus seems highly illogical and unnessesary. The existance of the act of cutting just wide-spred culture ideas at work. It indeed has gone on in other societies for much longer though. In American society, it is not considered acceptable behavior by the majority.

Seeing as how this is not helping, I suppose I'll give up trying to convince anyone. The fact that I can't change any opinions with facts, feels depressing in itself.

[Terastas]

i dont get it? why is it when I back myself up its considered hostile and flaming? everybody else is making thier points.

It's the way you do it.

thats the thing tho, ANYBODY could just stop talkin and/or eating. but only a very select few have the mental tolerance to suffer thru the psyhical PAIN of forcing urself not to talk or eat regularly. some of us believe life is too short to chose something just becuz "it's easier" some of us appreciate a psychological challenge.

Translation: If you fast without sewing your lips shut, you're a pussy. You can voice your support for a select few without knocking everyone else.

[Set]

If you must know, it is strictly against my Christian faith to harm myself in any way. "The body is thine temple."

Then you're not one of them Opus...whatever people. They're technically Christians too, and they harm themselves on purpose. Not for decoration, not for attention, not to deal with emotional pain, but because they want to suffer like Jesus did. Damned idiot wannabes. You will NEVER be Jesus, so stop trying, you morons. (No, the guy who wrote The DaVinci Code didn't make that up...)

And anyway, if the body is a temple, aren't you allowed to do whatever you want with it?

[Teh_DarkJokerWolf]

While on the point of knocking everyone else around Terastas an even you Kaebora..You all don't seem to realize your doing the exact some thing you are jumping on others for doing. Kinda redundant an again not fair. If you don't harm yourself due to your religion Kaebora that's fine an well..Your not understanding this though..Alot of folks don't have your same beliefs. Sometimes things just become so hard an people turn to doing such things..You can't judge them or say it's a stupid an they shouldn't do something..If you are indeed a doctor with the licence to prove it then fine..

It's fine an well what others do an they know the risks I'm sure, but some of you just can't seem to understand the topic such as this will go no where until you try to look at it respectfully from those who know about this views..Everyone is jumping the gun here an that's not going to do anything but hurt an cause pain. This thread was about bodyart but instead it has turned into something worse an ugly even. Again I will warn everyone to keep their head in this topic..this thread or it will be closed..If you don't agree with a person who does suck things so be it..No matter what anyone says you can't change ones mind, but only anger it..

Relax..please..No more flames..

If you must know, it is strictly against my Christian faith to harm myself in any way. "The body is thine temple."

Then you're not one of them Opus...whatever people. They're technically Christians too, and they harm themselves on purpose. Not for decoration, not for attention, not to deal with emotional pain, but because they want to suffer like Jesus did. Damned idiot wannabes. You will NEVER be Jesus, so stop trying, you morons. (No, the guy who wrote The DaVinci Code didn't make that up...)

And anyway, if the body is a temple, aren't you allowed to do whatever you want with it?

I couldn't have said it any better

[Terastas]

And anyway, if the body is a temple, aren't you allowed to do whatever you want with it?

*nods* Within reason, yes. And by "within reason," I mean just as long as you have a good reason. I support body modifications for people that think they look good, and I'll also support modifications that could potentially improve their lifestyle, but I'm against modifications for shock value and/or "just because," especially the ones that look more like mutilations and torture than decorations.

The scarring example that started this thread is my middle ground. The method is pretty extreme -- certainly nothing I'd consider (and from a guy that supports the legalization of Trepanation, that's quite a statement), but the end result is something that the recipient herself is happy with, so if the method itself doesn't trouble her, then I support her right to do it. Or, umm. . . More accurately, the right of her scarring specialist to do it.

[PariahPoet]

If you must know, it is strictly against my Christian faith to harm myself in any way.

Well aren't you special? I'm a Christian as well and guess what. I'm not bloody perfect! (and unless you can make my showerhead magically spray wine on me in the morning, I don't think you are either). That just further illustrates my point that extreme emotional pain can drive people to do many things.

In my perspective the two things have little in common, and thus seems highly illogical and unnessesary.

Once again, if you've never been there you cannot possibly understand so quit judging people who have gone through enough that they had to resort to that.

Seeing as how this is not helping, I suppose I'll give up trying to convince anyone. The fact that I can't change any opinions with facts, feels depressing in itself.

That is about as arrogant as it gets- calling your own opinions facts while dismissing everyone else's perspectives as nonsense.

[Teh_DarkJokerWolf]

Upon further review of this thread I have decided it needs to be locked. Some of you folks here seem just so sure of yourselves an yet doing this you hurt folks an cause uncalled for fights/ debates..This thread has totally went astray an people are becoming down right rude an disrespectful. I'm sorry to say Kaebora, but you aren't handling this the way a MOD should..You are saying things that are further upsetting the situation..This can't go on..