Who was a LONER when they were younger?

deruty · Post by **deruty** » Thu Jan 25, 2007 8:06 pm

Just adding on a bit from my prior post. Most people don't seem to like me... and some think I'm scary *rawr*, which I think is actually really neat and aweesome!<--possible explanation of lonerism.

Fenrir · Post by **Fenrir** » Thu Jan 25, 2007 10:18 pm

I have a question, what is YOUR deffinition of being a loner, because I think the meaning varies from person to person....so I'am interested to see what it means to certain people.

RedEye · Post by **RedEye** » Thu Jan 25, 2007 11:00 pm

IMHO, A Loner is someone that is apart from the general run of people by choice. Someone who has become perhaps become too fond of their own company...
Not someone who is essentially placed outside of a group because they don't, or can't fit in, rather they choose not to fit in.
A Solipsist.

WereWolfBoy · Post by **WereWolfBoy** » Fri Jan 26, 2007 7:49 am

Aki wrote:I used to be a loner, but I'm slowly (very slowly) coming out of it. I don't think it was ever because I was 'different' or anything, but simply because I'm not good at starting and carrying on a conversation without being prompted in some manner. Given the right question or the need to correct someone, I can prattle on and on and everyone will be like "...You talk?"

So I do have a small group of friends, though I'll usually only talk rather than listen when something really strikes my fancy, or I ran across something so awesome I need to talk with someone about it.

I didn't really have too much trouble with bullying, either. There were some incidents but it's tapered off dramatically. I think it's because I present a rather boring target by not reacting strongly, or because my school's big and filled with a bunch of much better targets, etc. Or because I don't screw with anyone and it's generally thought (even if jokingly) that the quiet kids are the one's who'll break and go on rampages when pushes too far so that could also be a factor.

The people in my school call me a freak because of my interest in werewolves and so on
this guy named tarek he says that i like to f*** male werewolves and i told him to buzz off but now there is a rumor that im a gay and a werewolf f***er and im peed off at him

What should i do about it?

Fang · Post by **Fang** » Fri Jan 26, 2007 8:28 am

Well, talk to your guidance counselor, He/she may be able to help (you know I don't get the whole gay joke f** bashing thing, people are just so immature when it comes to sexuality

) (not that you're gay or anything)

WereWolfBoy · Post by **WereWolfBoy** » Fri Jan 26, 2007 8:33 am

Fang wrote:Well, talk to your guidance counselor, they may be able to help

that won't either i already tried that
and im about to bite his arms and legs off
and his head as well

Fang · Post by **Fang** » Fri Jan 26, 2007 8:36 am

If its any consolation we have a vent thread in Non were related if you have anything to get off your chest, also feel free to pm me if you're having a hard time

Set · Post by **Set** » Fri Jan 26, 2007 5:04 pm

WereWolfBoy, I know it's not easy to do, but have you ever tried just ignoring those people? (Yeah, I'd probably just crack him over the head with a blunt object myself, but you don't want to get in trouble. Unlike me I'm sure you care about consequences.)

You honestly don't have many options if the counselor is useless. If you feel like risking pissing that guy off, then the next time you see him tell him you know he makes fun of you because he's insecure about his own sexuality. People who do s*** like that always are. Say that in front of as many people as possible, then walk away and ignore him.

RedEye · Post by **RedEye** » Fri Jan 26, 2007 11:51 pm

Werewolfboy...take a deep breath. Then try relaxing. Your oponents are diong this simply because they see you react to it. Ignore them!
They're just pups trying to assert dominance. An Alpha does not get drawn in to these things. An Alpha has self control, and thus can control a whole pack when needed.
The general run of people are always trying to find someone to torment, especially at that age. It's a positional thing. Ignore it, and just keep going. If they learn that you cannot be diminished by their tactics, they'll lose interest, and find someone else to torment.
You want to be an Alpha; learn to be calm. Learn not to react to provocations. Keep yourself above them, mentally; and make it plain that you do not wish to be part of their useless positional games.
Don't make threats, unless you plan to carry them out-personally. Learn the "Stare". It is what makes the pups back down.
The calmer you stay; the more power you will accrue. They will begin to fear you, simply because they cannot make you jump to their commands.
You will be alone, but you will not be a target.

Fang · Post by **Fang** » Sat Jan 27, 2007 7:29 am

Didn't help me any

I'm still a loner because I was constantly tormented til grade 9

23Jarden · Post by **23Jarden** » Sat Jan 27, 2007 9:33 am

Teh_DarkJokerWolf wrote:I dunno, but it seems alot of us just didn't really fit in or were targets for bullies..

Bullies weren't/aren't really a problem. I'm was/almost am taller then everyone else.

In_Cruce_Salus · Post by **In_Cruce_Salus** » Sat Jan 27, 2007 6:10 pm

Military Brat.
That describes me fairly well. Luckily my father was military intelligence and not active duty. I only moved once or twice every 3-4 years. I eventually learned that it didn't matter if I made friends or not, and simply created a couple of fantasy worlds in my head that I could retreat to when I got lonely. Not the healthiest thing, but it worked. Still does.
I'm still in high school, and happen to be one of the geekiest people there. Not only do I love transformation-type things, but I'm also a furry-fan, a trekkie (star trek), a warsie (star wars), a book fanatic, a computer-nerd, a comic-book lover, a fairy tale and myth lover, and happen to be gay. Sure, there are a couple of people who regularly spend their time with me, but I really do prefer to be alone with either a book or a daydream.
Yeah, I'm a loner. Give me a quiet, empty corner in a library any day.

-Cruce

navalagVLK · Post by **navalagVLK** » Sat Jan 27, 2007 9:08 pm

Yep! *Waves paw* Another loner here!

Been a loner for as long as I can remember

Fenrir · Post by **Fenrir** » Sat Jan 27, 2007 11:29 pm

um.......why don't you insult them back wolfboy? I mean when a dog bites you, you bite him back. It's that easy, when they call you a werewolf f@(#(# why don't you turn around and say atleast I'am not a mother f#@*(@ like you. It's just that simple, if they realize you have a spine, they won't mess with you. It's worked for me, the few times someone has tried to insult me, I insulted them back, and they never bothered me again. Because, ignoring your problems won't help at all.

But, IDK much about these situations, so whatever you do good luck.

Kirk Hammett · Post by **Kirk Hammett** » Sun Jan 28, 2007 6:45 pm

In_Cruce_Salus wrote:Military Brat.
That describes me fairly well. Luckily my father was military intelligence and not active duty. I only moved once or twice every 3-4 years. I eventually learned that it didn't matter if I made friends or not, and simply created a couple of fantasy worlds in my head that I could retreat to when I got lonely. Not the healthiest thing, but it worked. Still does.
I'm still in high school, and happen to be one of the geekiest people there. Not only do I love transformation-type things, but I'm also a furry-fan, a trekkie (star trek), a warsie (star wars), a book fanatic, a computer-nerd, a comic-book lover, a fairy tale and myth lover, and happen to be gay. Sure, there are a couple of people who regularly spend their time with me, but I really do prefer to be alone with either a book or a daydream.
Yeah, I'm a loner. Give me a quiet, empty corner in a library any day.

-Cruce

I also like to read for hours on end and I daydream all day. Im not in highschool anymore, but I used to daydream there too, and read every opportunity I got. Comics, books, guitar/music magazines, etc. I had a friend who moved all the time, different countries, because her dad was in the airforce. I remember how difficult it was for her, from what she told me, half her friends being overseas.

The people in my school call me a freak because of my interest in werewolves and so on
this guy named tarek he says that i like to f*** male werewolves and i told him to buzz off but now there is a rumor that im a gay and a werewolf f***er and im peed off at him

What should i do about it?

And werewolf boy, good luck with the issues. Unfortunately bullies are just immature. How long do you have left in highschool? Just try and focus on your studies. The more you retaliate, the more they will think you are denying something. You could always say "So you believe werewolves are real? Then you must be loony" I'd rather not reply or insult back, but if you really need a comeback, confuse them. But I remember people used to give me silly nicknames (they still do, my ex boyfriend sometimes calls me Kirky, or spells my real name in a really weird way, he knows it annoys me, he finds it funny to annoy girls, especially me and Alexandra) and I used to get angry (in a friendly way, since we were friends). But they wouldn't stop calling me that because I got annoyed that I was being teased. (This was when I was younger)

I noticed that just letting them call me stuff, they got bored of it and stopped using those names, or just using them less so.

But of course yours are something much worse than silly nicknames because these are bullies not your friends (I've been bullied too, verbally mostly, I know how it feels, it's rotten, but I managed to ignore them a lot), but it is true that the more you retaliate the more they will call you that. Just shrug at them, ask them to point out the werewolf you supposedly get it on with.

As for the gay jokes...this is worse to retaliate to than nicknames. A lot of guys I know are homophobic (I also don't see why people care whether someone is gay or not). The more you argue that you aren't, the more they will say you are. Act as if you're not insulted by it, or calmly say you're not gay but have nothing against homosexuality, that you are comfortable with who you are (Whether gay or straight) and have no need to argue since you know what you are yourself.

In_Cruce_Salus · Post by **In_Cruce_Salus** » Sun Jan 28, 2007 11:30 pm

WereWolfBoy wrote:

The people in my school call me a freak because of my interest in werewolves and so on
this guy named tarek he says that i like to f*** male werewolves and i told him to buzz off but now there is a rumor that im a gay and a werewolf f***er and im peed off at him

What should i do about it?

I am not sure what you can do about it. Everything I can think of is either impractical or illegal. Lets see...
From my experience: 1) Taking it to an administrator/instructor makes it infinitely worse (even if he is expelled, his buddies will make life a living hell for you), 2) Confronting him about it will give him a reason for his actions (in his mind, at least), 3) Ignoring it may eventually make him stop, but will probably leave you with mile-wide emotional scars (always did with me), 4) Attacking or otherwise attempting to injure him will only portray him as the victim and you as the bully (assault doesn't work--trust me).
I have a couple of suggestions that may or may not work depending on specific details of your situation.

First, I suggest that you learn a form of self defense or martial art. While I do not suggest that you brag about it to him or in any other way showcase that you are learning self defense (this will kick his competition-gauge into gear, and he will most likely try to prove that he is tougher than you by attacking you), martial arts will give you more confidence, help you keep a clear head in times of stress, and will allow you to focus when you would otherwise be afraid. I suggest that you either learn Ju-Jitsu or Krav Maga.
Ju-Jitsu is a combat oriented form of martial arts that focuses on grabs, pins, joint-locks, and pressure points; In other words, it is excellent as an anti-bully/harrassment form of self-defense.
Krav Maga is also a combat oriented form of martial arts, but it puts special emphasis on survival by any means necessary. There is no formal side, and you will learn everything from anti-harrassment techniques to what to do when someone is pointing an MP5 at you.

Second, if this individual is truly making your life a living hell, so much so that you don't even want to go to school, then you should talk to your parents about switching schools. It may be difficult, and you may not get the classes that you want, but it is heck of a lot better than letting this guy screw up your life.

Not sure if any of that is useful (or even legible) but some of it actually worked for me.

-Cruce

ArcaneWerewolf · Post by **ArcaneWerewolf** » Sun Jan 28, 2007 11:33 pm

WereWolfBoy wrote: The people in my school call me a freak because of my interest in werewolves and so on
this guy named tarek he says that i like to f*** male werewolves and i told him to buzz off but now there is a rumor that im a gay and a werewolf f***er and im peed off at him

What should i do about it?

Being the center of a rumor is hardly an easy thing. One of the best things for you to do is to avoid reacting in an overly defensive manner, since such can indicate that a person has something to hide. Pay little attention to him. If he doesn't ever stop, then you might be able to humiliate him into shutting up, or at least make him look really pathetic as he tries to continue bothering you.

How often does he talk about you like that? Does anyone know how often he does so when you're not around? If he talks about the subject way too much, then it may be possible to reverse the rumor by pointing out his obsession with it. You can easily make it sound like that's his sexual fantasy and he's talking about you to help accomplish that in his mind, or say that he's spreading these rumors to draw everyone's attention towards you so he can easily hide things about himself. If you decide to try and reverse the rumor, just don't try too hard or it won't work. And if you succeed, don't keep going at it either, because there won't be a need to say anything more.

There's just one important thing to consider before doing anything. Take some time to figure out this guy to see if he's the kind of person who would try to beat someone up. Some people like to resort to fighting if their victims say anything back to them.

Timber-WoIf · Post by **Timber-WoIf** » Mon Jan 29, 2007 5:49 am

The people in my school call me a freak because of my interest in werewolves and so on
this guy named tarek he says that i like to f*** male werewolves and i told him to buzz off but now there is a rumor that im a gay and a werewolf f***er and im peed off at him

What should i do about it?

honestly, thats one of the most retarded things i've ever heard. nothing you did, but the rumor. really, i wouldn't worry bout it. things like that only turn into a big deal if you make it a big deal. just shrug stuff like that off.

(i'm sorry, but i laughed when i read that... so rediculus...)

STARWOLF_THE_MYSTIC · Post by **STARWOLF_THE_MYSTIC** » Fri Feb 09, 2007 3:58 am

The only reason I'm not a loner is because the voices in my head and my spirit wolves keep me company.

Kaebora · Post by **Kaebora** » Fri Feb 09, 2007 4:19 pm

When I was in high-school, if you had an interest that could be considered "strange" you'd keep it to yourself and within' your group of friends. My friends and I were more into Magic: The Gathering and Anime back then. We didn't talk about our interests with anyone else, but we did start an official school Anime Club for people to find us. That worked out well. Oh man, I miss those days. Well, if you go talking about werewolves with just anyone that doesn't share your interest, of course they'll make fun of you. Maybe not as much from HS Juniors and Seinors, but kids are brutal in Junior High.

White Paw · Post by **White Paw** » Fri Feb 09, 2007 4:48 pm

when i was a pup? hell....im a loner now..

WereWolfBoy · Post by **WereWolfBoy** » Mon Feb 12, 2007 7:19 am

umm keabora im not in junipr high in in high school and im a sophmore

WereWolfBoy · Post by **WereWolfBoy** » Mon Feb 12, 2007 7:31 am

ArcaneWerewolf wrote:
WereWolfBoy wrote: The people in my school call me a freak because of my interest in werewolves and so on
this guy named tarek he says that i like to f*** male werewolves and i told him to buzz off but now there is a rumor that im a gay and a werewolf f***er and im peed off at him

What should i do about it?
Being the center of a rumor is hardly an easy thing. One of the best things for you to do is to avoid reacting in an overly defensive manner, since such can indicate that a person has something to hide. Pay little attention to him. If he doesn't ever stop, then you might be able to humiliate him into shutting up, or at least make him look really pathetic as he tries to continue bothering you.

How often does he talk about you like that? Does anyone know how often he does so when you're not around? If he talks about the subject way too much, then it may be possible to reverse the rumor by pointing out his obsession with it. You can easily make it sound like that's his sexual fantasy and he's talking about you to help accomplish that in his mind, or say that he's spreading these rumors to draw everyone's attention towards you so he can easily hide things about himself. If you decide to try and reverse the rumor, just don't try too hard or it won't work. And if you succeed, don't keep going at it either, because there won't be a need to say anything more.

There's just one important thing to consider before doing anything. Take some time to figure out this guy to see if he's the kind of person who would try to beat someone up. Some people like to resort to fighting if their victims say anything back to them.

the problem with that is the damn asshole is bout 4ft and thinks he knows everythiong there is to know about me and he knows noting about me except the fact im the oldest of 9 kids and he is just soo anoying at time so i just let the rumors fly by me without noticeing them at all

STARWOLF_THE_MYSTIC · Mon Feb 12, 2007 11:05 am

WereWolfBoy wrote:
ArcaneWerewolf wrote:
WereWolfBoy wrote: The people in my school call me a freak because of my interest in werewolves and so on
this guy named tarek he says that i like to f*** male werewolves and i told him to buzz off but now there is a rumor that im a gay and a werewolf f***er and im peed off at him

What should i do about it?
Being the center of a rumor is hardly an easy thing. One of the best things for you to do is to avoid reacting in an overly defensive manner, since such can indicate that a person has something to hide. Pay little attention to him. If he doesn't ever stop, then you might be able to humiliate him into shutting up, or at least make him look really pathetic as he tries to continue bothering you.

How often does he talk about you like that? Does anyone know how often he does so when you're not around? If he talks about the subject way too much, then it may be possible to reverse the rumor by pointing out his obsession with it. You can easily make it sound like that's his sexual fantasy and he's talking about you to help accomplish that in his mind, or say that he's spreading these rumors to draw everyone's attention towards you so he can easily hide things about himself. If you decide to try and reverse the rumor, just don't try too hard or it won't work. And if you succeed, don't keep going at it either, because there won't be a need to say anything more.

There's just one important thing to consider before doing anything. Take some time to figure out this guy to see if he's the kind of person who would try to beat someone up. Some people like to resort to fighting if their victims say anything back to them.

the problem with that is the damn asshole is bout 4ft and thinks he knows everythiong there is to know about me and he knows noting about me except the fact im the oldest of 9 kids and he is just soo anoying at time so i just let the rumors fly by me without noticeing them at all

Pacifism can sometimes be a safe bet and a good one, unless they're looking for a fight. Either way I wish you luck with that.

Silverfang · Post by **Silverfang** » Mon Feb 12, 2007 2:26 pm

Been a loner here a long time, though slowly opening up on things.

Mainly cause in school and at my old job i was badly bullied. I tried the ignoring thing for years, but eventually i snapped in both incidences. First time i went off the handle was in a music class in my second to last year at secondary school (Year 10 in High School, don't know what that corresponds to American standards

) a guy had been trying to wind me up for around 6 months, before stealing my pen.

Now the teachers knew i wasn't a bad student, not the best but always got on with the work usually and finished with good results, but when this guy stole my pen and started ~chewing~ on it I just went off the deep end... Next thing i knew i was being hauled off of him by 3 people, apparently I'd leaped over 2 tables, landed on him and drove him to the floor with punches. Both of us got hauled up in front of the school head. I got off scott free and he got 2 weeks suspension for it

He never did go after me after that, and many people realized that I was a decent person generally but not one to piss off, so i ended up being left alone. Unfortunately this didn't hold true of my first full time job and the MD and production managers soon started bulling me (especially the MD

) after 2 years i snapped and started fighting back against the production manager, who turned into a complete coward when he got my bad side. Unfortunately the MD was an arrogant SOB who threw his weight around.

Before this I re-discovered my love of otherkin and werewolves and retreated till eventually i had 2 breakdowns, mainly due to the arrogance of the MD when i was getting particularly badly treated over a 6 month period in which i threw my notice in and was making plans to get out which included going to university and taking my degree. 3 days before i was due to go they caved to what i had asked for (different working conditions which meant i could control the workload and manage my day easier so to cover all breakdowns and general maintance) and i spent 6 more months before telling them to shove the job and left for my university course.

And again I've found nothing's changed, I'm always a outsider of sorts, though I'm making friends and finding a small group of friends who call me over when we're all stuck on work (I like problem solving

) and we usually chat for hours about all sorts of things which we all enjoy.

But in this time I've discovered there are other people such as you guys whom though i may not know you RL wise (yet, I've met some friends from online and found to get on much better than i'd have thought) I'm thankful that i have found places like this where my interests aren't called into question, thought of as odd or strange.