The other day, the stress built up to a very unhealthy level. I stated having chest pains, dizziness, nausea ( which had nothing to do with physical illness ) and had to spend almost 5 hours calming myself down. Later, I resolved to determine just why I had hit rock bottom emotionally. Stress was the primary cause.
It got SO bad over the last year, I found myself cursing my own work, hating CAMP LYCANTHROPE, and wishing I'd never written it in the first place. it was bad. Chalk that up to a perfectionist trying his damndest to make a good werewolf movie, and banging his head against the wall that is modern-day Hollywood.
My physical health has suffered because of all this stress. I had to stop this, because it was slowly killing me.
As most of you know, I recently secured that DECENT job I'd been looking for for years. The animation industry had just dried up, and no one was hiring for traditional artists. I learned CG, but that's not much fun, and by the time I finished school there were THOUSANDS of people taking CG classes. There was/is a glut. So I decided to return to drawing. When I finally had a chance to get this job, I had to prove myself all over again. Meaning a new portfolio, a new round of tests, and a six month wait to find out if I was even going to be considered. it was EXCRUCIATING. But it worked out.
In the meantime, I was doing night security work, putting my life on the line against the dregs of society. Here's a list of just a few of the godawful things I've personally seen over the last year on that job.
A woman raped.
A kidnapping.
Three gang-related murders
At least 10 Post traumatic Stress related iraq War vets melting down right in front of me. ( this is a big military town ) You'd be surprised at just how much emotion it can take out of even a non-soldier to have to witness this.
Because of all this stress, i have found myself becoming short and curt with PACK members, and not even realizing it. I'm not saying my views were wrong, but I WAS snapping to anger fueled retorts. Ive gotten messages from PACK members asking, "What happened to the OLD Matt Sullivan? I wish we had him back"
Well i couldn't agree with you more. So I'm here to say I'm sorry if I've offended anyone, and that I'm not going to hang onto any grudges. Figarou, it's cool man. Kaebora, same goes for you. What's past is past. What's said was said. And I really hope that things can go back to the way they were.
So...that's about it. Just something I had to get off my chest.
. i enjoy reading some negative posts, they give me so of the laughter that most could never understand. 
Like Adam Ferarra once said, you have to fight and/or blow off steam because otherwise you just end up exploding over some little thing.
