i might be pregnant

[Morkulv]

I don't get it, why is that so condescending? According to her post she clearly doesn't have a proper view of abortion, so I was correcting her on it. Nothing condenscending about that, a lot of people have the wrong idea of abortion, including yourself since you view abortion as 'murder'.

See, you're doing it again. You're telling me my beliefs are not valid. I can respect your beliefs, why can't you respect mine? That is all I ask.

Because abortion is not murder. Again, its not about believes but about facts. Its called science.

Like I suspected, this is just about you believing in what you want. In that case you are the one being condescending here, not me.

And since it is HER life and HER pregnancy if it indeed turns out to be true, I suggest you keep your religious believes out of it and let her make up her own mind, instead of posting things like "your trying to get her to murder". How can you even start about me being condenscending when you post stuff like that?

[PariahPoet]

This is pointless. It's obvious you cannot bring yourself to give anyone the slightest shred of respect if they disagree with you about anything.

[silver1]

I think you will be a great mother,don't worry...you will be fine.
I will keep you in my prayers.

[vrikasatma]

[Morkulv]

This is pointless. It's obvious you cannot bring yourself to give anyone the slightest shred of respect if they disagree with you about anything.

If you mean that I can't bring myself to accept utter nonesence as an option then yes. Its like saying you don't believe in gravity or something. You can't say that you believe different because there is simply no room for discussion, unless you prefer to be delusional. This however doesn't seem to get through to you.

I would've gladly respected your opinion if you just stayed with it, but you've dragged this on yourself.

[outwarddoodles]

Vrik: I wasn't trying to condemn you or anything, and there was nothing in your post that was not entirely valid, it just came off to me that, between Murk's post and your agreement to his, Flatline's choice was not respected -- she already stated she did NOT want to abort the child. This is not a cue to attempt to persuade her that abortion can be a beneficial choice in some scenarios, because Flatline has the baby's best interest in heart just like you, which is why she stated abortion was not an option.

Flatline doesn't even know if she's pregnant; her jobless state in the face of a potential child couldn't have been helped at this point. I'm sure you're already aware that birthcontrol is NOT failproof, which means she could have reasonably attempted to responsibly protect herself prior to the unintended conception. And just because she's scared right now -- which is entirely natural and rational at this point in time; who's happy to discover that have an unplanned baby on that way? -- does not mean she'll be a terrible mother.

Perhaps it's horrible and terrible; but in the US, we simply can't stop individuals from having babies because we disagree with their lifestyle or find them unsuitable by some means. (Besides, with this mind set, what small percentage of the population actually should be allowed to have children?) You can at least encourage Flatline by continuing to detail the responsibilities she will be forced to assume, thus allowing her to become a little more informed and prepared for the child (which I'm fairly sure won't be as screwed up as you seem to imply it would), or help her consider the alternative option of adoption.

[Morkulv]

[Shadow Wulf]

Well from what I heard, couples never really know if they are ready or not until they actually have the baby. So I understand how scary this must be for you, but if you are determined to keep this baby and dedicate yourself to him/her then I'm sure you will provide a good lifestyle despite the economy.

I understand you dont want to have an abortion or adopt it, these kinds of choices are never easy and it's something each couple will have to see whats best for themselves. So with that aside, I wish you the best of luck if you do get pregnant and that everything goes well for you and your child.

[vrikasatma]

Perhaps it's horrible and terrible; but in the US, we simply can't stop individuals from having babies because we disagree with their lifestyle or find them unsuitable by some means.

Doodles —

Again, I'm not trying to stop her or tell her what decisions to make. But there's a lot more to this than saying "I want a baby." Like I said, having a child is, for the vast majority, the most significant and crucial act they'll undertake in their lives. I daresay it has more of an impact than buying a house.

One doesn't say "I want a baby" in quite the same way as one says, "I want a new pair of shoes," or "I want salmon for dinner tonight," or "I want to major in engineering in college." To paraphrase the Founding Fathers, it is not an enterprise to go into for light and transient reasons.

Given the gravity of responsibility and the twenty-year plus commitment of having a child, I just find it appalling that people gladly give it a pass regardless of whether the parents are prepared or not. Practicality and deliberation seem to go straight out the window whenever "pregnancy" and "baby" come into the mix.

It's the Capricorn in me. I always start thinking about logistics, procedure and pragmatism whenever a serious, longtime commitment is in the offing.

And by the way, PLEASE don't trot out this extremist argument:

(Besides, with this mind set, what small percentage of the population actually should be allowed to have children?)

I wasn't going in that direction at all. Just because I warn someone about the seriousness of what they're about to do — this isn't one life on the line, it's at least two — doesn't mean I'm setting a perfectionist policy applicable to everyone on the face of the planet. I am far from a perfectionist. She asked for advice, I'm offering it. You don't stumble into college at the proverbial drop of a hat, you don't join the armed forces by accident, and you don't buy a tiger cub "just because."

[Scott Gardener]

Flatline:
Well, any news?

Everyone else:
The abortion debate is so enormously polarizing that, as strong as my own opinions may be on the issue, I'm going to avoid going anywhere near its event horizon right now, because its gravitational effects are too destructive.

That not said...

Kudos go out to Vrikasatma for pointing out that having a baby isn't something done lightly or casually, because it affects what happens to the rest of your life.

[RedEye]

Do you folks suppose you could give Flatline a chance to respond? She asked for advice, not a fight among her packmates.

I'll stick with my first post: Try the in-home pregnancy test. That will at least give you an indication on whether you have something to be concerned about in that venue.

And everybody else?
Take a chill-pill, k?

[Figarou]

Kudos go out to Vrikasatma for pointing out that having a baby isn't something done lightly or casually, because it affects what happens to the rest of your life.

Exactly.

I've witnessed many different events about having a baby from others.

A friend of mine had a natural abortion because the fetus didn't develop properly.

Another gave birth to a baby with a deformed face. They (husband and wife) decided they didn't want that child. So they put it up for adoption. It died several weeks later.

A friend of mine told me his wife was having a baby. Me and a bunch of other friends congratulated him. But when the day came for his wife to give birth, something went wrong. The doctor's rushed out of the delivery room and said, "Who do you want us to save? The baby, or your wife?" The guy said... "Save my wife!!" She couldn't give a natural birth. They had to cut her open to get the baby out. The doctor's managed to save both. But they told her she'll never be able to get pregnant again.

[PariahPoet]

Wow...I can't imagine not wanting your own baby because it's ugly. -_-

Going by most people's criteria on here I should have been aborted. My parents were barely making enough money to support themselves, they weren't trying to have a baby and there was a very high likelihood that I would have been a boy and had muscular dystrophy and died before I was 20.

Granted, most days I don't want to be alive, but I appreciate my parents at least giving me that option.

Same for my mate. He has a genetic disorder that gave him a mal-formed skeletal structure. He has no collarbone at all and has had to have oral surgery every month since he was a kid to fix his teeth.

I just don't like the idea that some people judge imperfect specimens like myself and my mate as un-worthy of living. How long will it be before it's standard practice to abort any baby that isn't perfect?

[Figarou]

Wow...I can't imagine not wanting your own baby because it's ugly. -_-

It was more than just "ugly." The face was so badly deformed it'll take many operations to get it looking normal. They couldn't afford it. Besides, it died anyway.

I just don't like the idea that some people judge imperfect specimens like myself and my mate as un-worthy of living. How long will it be before it's standard practice to abort any baby that isn't perfect?

Just be glad that most humans will keep the baby no matter how it looks. You should already know what happens in the animal world. Elephants are known to kill thier infant if it was born deformed. A male lion will kill the cubs if they are not his own. The list goes on.

[Flatline]

good news. my missing period finally came. bad news, its ten times worse then what it usually is.

im very relieved that im not pregnant. and im going on birth control when my period is over just in case any more condoms break.

[vrikasatma]

You might want to line up an appointment with your OB-GYN and let him/her know what happened. Get checked out, make sure everything's okay.

Your OB-GYN will also discuss what kind of birth control is right for your situation, as well.

[Flatline]

huh?

i dont know what you mean by a OB-GYN, but i do intend to talk to my doctor about it

[Sevena]

.

[Flatline]

ok. thanks.

and im sorry about all the fighting i started with this thread

[Ashakira]

Good to hear you aren't pregnant. You probably would have made a good mother if you were though. Get that doctor check up soon.

[PariahPoet]

ok. thanks.

and im sorry about all the fighting i started with this thread

None of the drama was your fault.
I'm glad everything turned out ok for you.

[Morkulv]

good news. my missing period finally came. bad news, its ten times worse then what it usually is.

im very relieved that im not pregnant. and im going on birth control when my period is over just in case any more condoms break.

Congratulations on not being pregnant.

I hope you can have a well planned out pregnancy in the future.