Chuck Norris facts

Hearth · Post by **Hearth** » Sat Apr 01, 2006 12:15 am

WARNING: This site contains material some perusers may find offensive. Reader discretion is advised.

http://www.4q.cc/chuck

They're just hilarious!

When Chuck Norris walks he rotates the world beneath his feet; he has never moved.

Chuck Norris doesn't have to kill you today. Chuck Norris is patient.

Chuck Norris solved the Bermuda Triangle by using the Pythagorean Theorem.

Chuck Norris crossed the road. Nobody has ever dared question his motives.

All your base are belong to us. If by "us" you mean Chuck Norris, and "base" you mean women, schools, cars, souls, virginities, webrings, 4q.cc, Xanga, Facebook, crushes, poetry, spoken language, modernism, financial wealth, laughter, joy, peace, philosophy, eschatology, doctrine, theology, vision, hearing, atoms, molecules, and anything else Chuck Norris wants.

Legend has it that Chuck Norris single-handedly wrote the Constitution of the United States in blood from Thomas Jefferson.

Chuck Norris once inhaled a seagull.

Chuck Norris refers to bullet wounds as, "a way to get that annoying blood out of my system so that I finally have room for that lava transplant."

And here's a tape of Chuck Norris reading Chuck Norris facts:

http://www.thesuperficial.com/archives/ ... norri.html

outwarddoodles · Post by **outwarddoodles** » Sat Apr 01, 2006 11:43 am

Oh no, It's the Chuck Norris facts. Will they ever stop? D=

Yet they're halarious, aren't they?

Renorei · Post by **Renorei** » Sat Apr 01, 2006 12:06 pm

inwardscribbles? That's awesome!

Also, the Chuck Norris facts are very funny. My favorites are "Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of saying that, sometimes, corn needs to lie the f*** down" and "Chuck Norris has counted to infinity--twice."

Shadow Wulf · Post by **Shadow Wulf** » Mon Apr 03, 2006 7:37 am

Lol, I love it! I cant believe Chuck Norris read his own facts.

Fenrir · Post by **Fenrir** » Mon Apr 03, 2006 3:01 pm

Oh for the love of god no more please no more i have heard too many!

Searif · Post by **Searif** » Mon Apr 03, 2006 3:48 pm

chuck norris has infected this website aswell, when will it end!

Kzinistzerg · Post by **Kzinistzerg** » Mon Apr 03, 2006 6:24 pm

yeah... you should see this:
http://www.wc3campaigns.net/revolution/index.php
its a warcraft-into-starcraft mod... but teh april fools thing...

Stone Wolf · Post by **Stone Wolf** » Tue Apr 04, 2006 1:01 am

LOL if you things those 'facts' are funny, you should watch the Chuck Norris Cartoon, it's just one Chuck Norris joke after another

Morkulv · Post by **Morkulv** » Wed Apr 05, 2006 2:05 pm

I liked the black metal rules better.

Machine-Whisperer · Post by **Machine-Whisperer** » Thu Apr 06, 2006 1:57 am

=/ One thing but... IF you ever watched one of Chuck norris' Shows. He ain't such a good actor....

Hearth · Post by **Hearth** » Thu Apr 06, 2006 8:36 am

Machine-Whisperer wrote:=/ One thing but... IF you ever watched one of Chuck norris' Shows. He ain't such a good actor....

I've only seen clips on Conan O'Brian of the 'Walker Texas Ranger'.

They've been funny

Hamster · Post by **Hamster** » Thu Apr 06, 2006 12:25 pm

Who's Chuck Norris?

23Jarden · Post by **23Jarden** » Thu Apr 06, 2006 3:08 pm

To Wikipedia!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chuck_Norris

Hamster · Post by **Hamster** » Thu Apr 06, 2006 8:36 pm

Anybody can do those facts. Kinda stupid, really:

Hamster killed a tiger with her bare hands.

Hamster punched a werewolf in the nose.

Hamster have a real picture of a werewolf but choose not to show it.

Hamster knows where you are and can kill you any time she wants.

Hamster invented dirt.

Hamster had dinner with the President and smacked him.

Hamster could write her name on a grain of rice.

Hamster knows why the chicken crossed the road.

Hamster have planted bombs all over the American Idol stage (and Ryan Seacrest mic) and plan to detonate them all on the next season.

Hamster wrote all of "Pink Floyd" 's songs.

Hamster invented puppies.

Wow.....I must be amazing.

Sorry, not in the best of moods today.

Kzinistzerg · Post by **Kzinistzerg** » Thu Apr 06, 2006 9:30 pm

yeah, they're kindf repetive...
you have to choose a good subject though... like... SANTA!

in any case:

www.chucknorrisfacts.com