THE PACK Message Boards

(Don't want to turn this into a political flame thread, but it's not like abortions would be mandatory. If you don't agree, you don't need to get one, right?)

Granted. But if you'd ever watched any episode of My Gym Partner is a Monkey, you'd know why this is a bad idea. Between the crap-throwing and his inexplicable ability to always find an unattended box of matches, you're being pushed to your breaking point.

And speaking of which, I wish I'd gone to Charles Darwin Middleschool when I was a kid.

Granted! you sit next a smelly rino, and elephant with a cold in your "Mual the human" class.

i wish i can get a home entertainment upgrade!

Granted. The city authorizes the building of a multiplex theatre in your current home and neglects to inform you until the bulldozers arrive. The biggest movie screen in Utah is now at your address. Too bad you don't live there anymore.

I wish I could moonwalk like Michael Jackson, only without actually being Michael Jackson.

Granted! Not only that you aslo get MJ's Child molestation law suits.


I wish that i'am member of SG-1, (the seasons 1-7 SG-1 not the new one) as the bad a** werewolf with a heart of gold. (figuratively of corse)

Granted. But even on SG1 there are the occassional nutjobs that refuse to believe werewolves are anything but evil.

He gets you with a silver letter opener while you're asleep. You live through the ordeal though, because he made the same mistake Homer Simpson made when he tried to kill Vampire Burns.

People used to call you "Wolfy." Now they call you "The Penguin."

I wish Bill Gates would decide on a whim to put a hundred thousand dollars in the bank accounts of all U.S. citizens that share the same names as famous cereal killers (NOTE: my name in RL is Michael Ross, so that would make me one of them).

granted. Bill Gates puts hundred thousand dollars on reward for your capture.

I wish that "Talespin" series starts to be produced again (loved this cartoon... and love p2p for letting me see it again =P)

Granted, You get sued by disney for copy right infringment!

(Let me try this one again) ahem...

I wish I had a powers of a god! Bow down to me Mortals!!!! Muw ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!

Granted. You are now Quasmir, the ancient Udrogothian god of overused punctuation and freshly laundered trousers.

Have fun.

I wish I had some new boots.

*smiles* so, you want boots, hm? O-kay!

*cracks fingers* this one will be nice.

The sky above the city is filled with big, enormous, dark clouds. The wind gets stronger. Have a real bad feeling about your wish...

BOOT RAIN! but it's not another boot rain, it's the ULTIMATE GIANT AWESOME TOTAL KICKASS BOOT RAIN! All kinds of boots fall from the sky! there's no safe place to hide! MUAAHUAHUAHUAAHUAAA!

I wish FIFA Manager 2006 (AKA total club manager 2006) gets a portuguese translation soon.

Your wish is granted! The translation says "See Spot...see Spot run...Big Dog...Little Dog" Total disappointment causes several suicides and lawsuits.

I wish I had the strength of a gymnast, but keep my current height. It would be cool to be able to throw your own weight around like that!

Wish granted; you retain your present height and gain the strength of a gymnast. Having said nothing about your weight, you gain about 600 pounds in the process. (It's all muscle. Really.) You're soon diagnosed with diabetes and obstructive sleep apnea, and then keel over from a sudden heart attack.

I wish for great telekinetic powers!

Granted. You have the powers in this very instant. Unfortunately, you only wished for the powers, not the discipline. For your very first trick, you try take a bottle of water off of the kitchen counter and bring it towards you, but instead the kitchen counter breaks off and smashes you in the head. The resulting brain damage takes away your telekinetic powers and gives you a speech impediment instead.

I wish my back would stop hurting.

Wish Granted, but lucky for you your now hunched over like the Hunch back of Notre Dame. People stare, laugh and make fun at you, and your self esteem is zero now, so you sit at home all day and sleep and eat constantly...




I wish I was a Billionare..

Wish granted. The economy crashes, a depression ensues, and money isn't worth the paper on which it's printed. You personally have a billion dollars in your house, using it for things like rags and toilet paper.

I wish I were a rich and famous artist.

Granted. But you aren't rich because of your art, because everyone knows that artists aren't appreciated until after their dead. Your fortune doesn't come until a mafia don sees you lying on the side of the road with a starving cat, and being a big fan of your atwork, decides to take you in and fix you back up. . . For a favor in return, of course.

Ten years later, the Don dies and leaves a good chunk of his empire to you in his will. You're now rich and famous. Too bad the Don's seven sons and daughters all payed seven different guys to have you whacked.

I wish I could fluently speak English, Spanish, Mandarin, Japanese, Portugese, and Bengali.

Wish granted! You're now a protocol droid, fluent in more than six million forms of communication. Given that your creators were located in a galaxy far, far away and died off a long time ago, you become run down and problem-prone pretty quickly, with no one around to perform routine maintainance. Eventually you end up as non-functioning parts in storage in a secret government warehouse.

I wish I could heal people with my hands. (OK, as an osteopathic physician, I kind of can, but I mean really do it miraculously.)

Granted! You heal people with your hands and people started worshoping you and started a cult. The the ATF comes in and kills all of your followers, and you are now one of the FBI's ten most wanted.


I wish i was a werewolf god!

Granted! being the werewolf god u are, you are widely worshiped. Till an overzelous werewolf follower obtains a god killing weapon and slays you when you least expect it.

I wish i could shapeshift.

Granted, you have been shot by a silver bullet!

I wish i can flip off every one in the world at the same time!

Granted. A bunch of angry Floridians abduct you, throw you on a rocket, send you up into space, put you in a space suit and throw you out the airlock.

You're far enough out though that you can see the entire planet, so you do manage to flip off the entire world all at once. Too bad nobody can see your raised middle finger through those big bulky gloves you're wearing.

I wish I could stand next to Fred Phelps live on television wearing TShirtHell.com's "He Loves the Cock" shirt for ten minutes without him noticing or anyone else informing him why their all laughing.

Granted! After he comes and finds you and then kills you for making him look like an @$$ on national telivision.

I wish can kill the people that are responsible for American Idol!!! (I HATE THAT SHOW!!!)

Granted. Simon Cowell, Randy Jackson, Paula Abdul, Ryan Seacrest, and all the producers and technical advisers all die horrible horrible deaths by your hand. But then Chris Daughtry, Paris Bennett, Katherine McPhee, Taylor Hicks, Elliot Yamin, Kellie Pickler, Ace Young, Bucky Covington, Lisa Tucker, Kevin Covais, Melissa McGhee, Giddeon McKinney, Heather Cox, Will Makar, Jose Penala, Ayla Brown. . . Well, pretty much everyone from this season except for Mandisa (who could care less since she's already got an album in the works) all get together and beat the ever-loving crap out of you for taking away their one and only chance at stardom just because you weren't smart enough to change the channel when you didn't like the show.

To top things off, they don't kill you. Instead you wake up in the bunker on the next season of UNAN1MOUS.

I wish I was in Narnia.

((OOh that's not good!))

Granted since your a son of Adam, you've been turn to stone by the white witch.


I wish that I'm a regular on Naruto (as in i'm on the same ninja squad as Naruto and sauskai and the girl which i have no idea how to spell), and i have the ability to turn into a werewolf when the ninja action get a little too rough. (Nine tail fox eat your heart out! )

Hey, nothing a wiff of lion breath can't cure. ^_^

Granted. But in one of the latter episodes, a nine-tailed fox (not the one Naruto's possessed with) eats your heart out instead.

I wish I tigers would stop getting casted as the villains so much (major props to you Mr. Albee!)

Granted! Your big action hero tigerguy got him self blown up after cutting the wrong wire on a bomb!

I wish that i got caught up with my high school credits with out doing any work! (i'm waaaaaaaaaaaaaay behind!!)