THE PACK Message Boards

Why? Sparkly vampires are bad enough. But cherubic native American werewolves who..god, I dunno..change color in warm water for all I know. This kinds of crap has infected our women. Shake them! Slap them and say "A real life vampire would kill you! A werewolf would bite you and then POSSIBLY kill you! It's not romantic!"

http://www.hulu.com/watch/109657/the-to ... ,vclip,1,0

I hate watered down, pussified monsters. Boycott this social pariah...or at least sneak into it. Don't spend any money on it.

I think you're preaching to the choir Matt. I myself am already pretty much committed to hating this movie, if only for degenerating werewolves to nothing but a bunch of atypical California tools that refuse to ever put their shirts on. No, really, they had the entire Douche Pack on Access Hollywood (or one of those stupid tabloid TV shows that I only watch when I'm waiting for the prime time stuff) and the very first thing out of one of their mouths was "we have our shirts off for the entire movie."

The thing is that it's not vampires or werewolves that are the appeal. It's the fact that all the vampires and all the werewolves alike in the world are all fighting for the affections of this strange emo tween who was born with the perfect pron star name but not an IQ or a personality.

If you want to write a blockbuster, you don't need good writing or a solid foundation for it. Just make the main character as cruel a caricature of your target audience as possible, then insist that this character is the absolute center of the whole [expletive]ing universe.

Can't view the video because I'm outside the US.

MattSullivan wrote:...or at least sneak into it. Don't spend any money on it.

I find that a rather ironic statement coming from you.

Twilight, the entire series, is garbage.

Wasn't planning on it thank god. besides I actually read all the books(blah) and suffered enough through it.

Beh, I'm so bloody sick of little Twitards. It's a darn shame though, because the NM wolves are so pretty(in lupine form, not douche form).

PariahPoet wrote:Beh, I'm so bloody sick of little Twitards. It's a darn shame though, because the NM wolves are so pretty(in lupine form, not douche form).

Really? Cuz' I thought he looked like an escapee from a PS2 game. Not quite as bad as that screen grab we saw of the movie Alpha & Omega. . . But close.

I do pest control for a living and Im sick and tired of going into a house to spray and see twilight all over the place.
I sprayed one room that you could not see the walls from all the damn posters and crap all over it. And the girl was 17.

Terastas wrote:... Douche Pack...

*Snark* Tee-hee-hee... Douche Pack... Heh, heh, hahahahaha... That's funny...

Terastas wrote:If you want to write a blockbuster, you don't need good writing or a solid foundation for it. Just make the main character as cruel a caricature of your target audience as possible, then insist that this character is the absolute center of the whole [expletive]ing universe.

Wow, Terastas. You must have loved Transformers. Oh, wait. Nevermind.

That was a freaking hilarious clip.
Check out the hatred in this thread. Even the authors, maybe especially the other authors don't like Meyer's series. It's maybe an inch above fanfiction but made her stupid rich(for an author).

MattSullivan wrote: "A real life vampire would kill you! A werewolf would bite you and then POSSIBLY kill you! It's not romantic!"

I don't think that's true, really.

As much as I hate Sparkly vampires and other "pussified, watered down monsters" I think going to the other extreme is just as silly. I think that, like werewolves, vampires should be people who happen to also be monsters. This is going to cause some issues (like "Oh man you look delicious") but it shouldn't define who they are. You might as well be a zombie if you kill "because you're a vampire." That's boring.

Besides, vampires who kill every time they feed are kinda silly to begin with. A body trail like that is soooo not going to fly in the modern era. Hell, it wouldn't even fly so well in older times. People take notice of murder and tend to hunt whomever they think responsible down and return the favor.

But, yeah, Twilight and it's entire saga are pretty crap, so totally not worth the money.

At least it provides an easy target for laughs, as Conan demonstrated, haha.

Sorry. Being forced against my will to see it... and on my damn birthday too. If I can back out,then I will spare myself the time. But I also want to get a reveiw done for TwilightSucks. But eh, another brave soul could do it for me.

Sparkley vampires - Bad
Cheezy plot - Bad
Horrible vampires - Worse
Terrible CGI Werewolves - THE WORST!

The thing I hate about Twilight is the werewolves are both mortal and immortal.. at the same time? Not to mention werewolves arn't what they use to be anymore. I want to see more transformations (if anything) close to or like the one in American Werewolf in London, where they show you everything in full light, with no overlapping and stuff like the original Wolfman.

HAY GUYZ I DON'T LIKE TWILIGHT ANYMORE BECAUSE SOMEBODY TOLD ME NOT TO.

(I'm tired of the Twi-hatred. You think Twilight's juvenile? You guys are just as bad.)

I'm sneaking in to see it because I need to kill movie time while waiting for Ninja Assassin to come out.

outwarddoodles wrote:HAY GUYZ I DON'T LIKE TWILIGHT ANYMORE BECAUSE SOMEBODY TOLD ME NOT TO.

(I'm tired of the Twi-hatred. You think Twilight's juvenile? You guys are just as bad.)

We're juvenile because we dislike it?

Aki wrote:At least it provides an easy target for laughs, as Conan demonstrated, haha.

Conan? What does he have to do with this?

outwarddoodles wrote:HAY GUYZ I DON'T LIKE TWILIGHT ANYMORE BECAUSE SOMEBODY TOLD ME NOT TO.

(I'm tired of the Twi-hatred. You think Twilight's juvenile? You guys are just as bad.)

Hurray for a well argued defense of Twilight?

It's hated for a reason. I don't hate it because everyone else does. I hate it because:

- Stephanie Meyer's writing is scarcely above the level of your average fan-fic writer (hell, I'm sure fanfiction.net has a few writers better than here). This is not only on a merely technical scale (like her tendancy towards in describing, oh, say Edward with five words meaning the same thing) but on terms of plot. It's got a tendancy of arriving late to the party and Meyer seems to avoid any chance for a good fight scene or any sort of action beyond "OMG I LOVE YOU" "OMG ME TOO" or "OMG I ALSO LOVE THIS DUDE." Bella gets knocked out for a big werewolf vs. vampire battle. At the end of the series a whole bunch of vampires are introduced with unique powers and a big epic battle seems to loom.... but then people talk at each other and then slink off. Like, wat. Why introduce those characters!? Detail their powers!? And then ... nothing.

- Themes. Twilight's saga is fully of crazy creepy themes that are never recognized as creepy as they are. Edward stalking Bella and standing over her while she sleeps without her knowing is supposed to be 'romantic', Ed pulling the engine block out of her car to keep her from seeing this guy is 'caring', Imprinting is totally cool and it's totally not creepy or anything when a werewolf teenage 'imprints' on a toddler. Totally.

Seriously. It's fulla crazy s***. It might have been interesting if it was played straight - as a horror story about a vampire stalking this girl and these werewolves who are stuck with this f*** up bonding instinct, but no. It's played like it's OK and natural.

Book's terrible, both technically and conceptually. It gets raged at because it's done nothing to deserve the praise it gets.

Sebiale wrote:

Aki wrote:At least it provides an easy target for laughs, as Conan demonstrated, haha.

Conan? What does he have to do with this?

Conan O'Brian. In the opening post's video.

outwarddoodles wrote:HAY GUYZ I DON'T LIKE TWILIGHT ANYMORE BECAUSE SOMEBODY TOLD ME NOT TO.

(I'm tired of the Twi-hatred. You think Twilight's juvenile? You guys are just as bad.)

I think that if the majority here happens to dislike Twilight you just have to accept that.

I still haven't seen it yet past the beginning... I still have it somewhere floating around my computer though.

Hmmm, let's see.

Dorky teenage romance- check
Sparkly vampires- check
Pedophile werewolves- check

Yep. Matt's opinion is the only reason this movie sucks. ^^

Aki wrote: - Stephanie Meyer's writing is scarcely above the level of your average fan-fic writer (hell, I'm sure fanfiction.net has a few writers better than here).

I could give you a list if you actually wanted to prove that, I spend way too much time on FF.Net. Meyer's better, but not by much, there are several FF stories I would have preferred to re-read instead of the Twilight series.

Aki wrote:

Sebiale wrote:

Aki wrote:At least it provides an easy target for laughs, as Conan demonstrated, haha.

Conan? What does he have to do with this?

Conan O'Brian. In the opening post's video.

Oh. My mind immediately jumped to Conan the barbarian, must be because I have the original book sittig above my head, it's influencing my mind!!

Well I wen't to the midnight release, and I liked it...

*nods* Last I checked, Ed was a hundred years old -- old enough to be Bella's grandfather. X 5

Aki wrote:

MattSullivan wrote: "A real life vampire would kill you! A werewolf would bite you and then POSSIBLY kill you! It's not romantic!"

I don't think that's true, really.

As much as I hate Sparkly vampires and other "pussified, watered down monsters" I think going to the other extreme is just as silly. I think that, like werewolves, vampires should be people who happen to also be monsters. This is going to cause some issues (like "Oh man you look delicious") but it shouldn't define who they are. You might as well be a zombie if you kill "because you're a vampire." That's boring.

This was more or less my take on it too. A vampire that kills indiscriminately would be just a zombie (the first Blade movie even went so far as to say that zombies are vampires who are retarded, which I'm borrowing off of in my writing), but what Stephanie Meyer effectively did was remove everything she didn't like about vampires and make them as appealing to her as possible (she even made them sparkly for fark's sake). Ed's stalking tendencies and the werewolf's natural "imprinting" pedophile urges were just things she threw in to try and justify why these two are fighting over a living cardboard cutout.

The only thing I will give Meyer credit for is that she did have enough common sense to make Edward rationale his nature instead of fighting it altogether, but it was still completely unrealistic to think he could have had intriguing thoughts about some antisocial twit after he'd just sucked Bambi's mom dry. I think a more balanced vampire would try to find a substitute for human blood ASAP (like the vampires in Nightwatch that lived off of pig blood), but just the fact that they are drinking any kind of blood should still have left them feeling pretty bitter. Edward should have been an antisocial cynical bastard, not the creepy lovestruck stalker.

AngryGothChick wrote:Sorry. Being forced against my will to see it... and on my damn birthday too. If I can back out,then I will spare myself the time. But I also want to get a reveiw done for TwilightSucks. But eh, another brave soul could do it for me.

My honest advice: Keep yourself amused instead by writing the review / poking fun of how bad it is as you go. It got me through the entire crap fourth season of America's Got Talent, it got Korey and C.H. through Disaster Movie (full audio here), it got Mike, Crow and Tom through god only knows how many movies on MST3K, and it can get you through New Moon too.

Speaking of MST3K, those guys did a Rifftrax for the first Twilight and it's hilarious.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZFSn5rs70Rc Here's a 10 minute sample of it. Great stuff.

It's not juvenile to dislike Twilight.

But it is to go out of one's way to attack it, create a thread insisting people share that opinion, and express revulsion at people who do.

My comment was mostly aimed at the initial post. "Boycott Twilight?" : \

outwarddoodles wrote:It's not juvenile to dislike Twilight.

But it is to go out of one's way to attack it, create a thread insisting people share that opinion, and express revulsion at people who do.

My comment was mostly aimed at the initial post. "Boycott Twilight?" : \

In my opinion any book that romanticizes suicide and sells it to teenagers should not published.

I'll reply more to this thread later, too tired right now.

Terastas wrote:. I think a more balanced vampire would try to find a substitute for human blood ASAP (like the vampires in Nightwatch that lived off of pig blood), but just the fact that they are drinking any kind of blood should still have left them feeling pretty bitter. Edward should have been an antisocial cynical bastard, not the creepy lovestruck stalker.

I don't see why they'd need a substitute or drinking human blood would leave them bitter. Unless the vampire absolutely has to kill when feeding (which is silly - they'd never last any length of time) there's nothing really to feel bitter about.

I think a vampire could go along drinking human blood and either loving or hating it for various reasons. There's a lot you can do with an immortal character and that's the fun part about vampires - which I think is often missed by having the elders all be aristocratic European types.

I mean, s***, Twilight missed a good opportunity with the character Jasper. He was in the Civil War! On the South's side no less! You can have a lot of fun with a character like that. Motivations and personality and all that.

outwarddoodles wrote:It's not juvenile to dislike Twilight.

But it is to go out of one's way to attack it, create a thread insisting people share that opinion, and express revulsion at people who do.

My comment was mostly aimed at the initial post. "Boycott Twilight?" : \

I don't see how it's juvenile to say "Hey guys, this is crap. Maybe you shouldn't go see it."

I mean, then every critic and reviewer since forever would be juvenile.

Besides, where the defense for Darkwolf, then? No one seems to spring up and call people juvenile every time someone says it was a s*** movie and the werewolf looked like an escapee from a PS1 game.