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Terastas wrote:

Alpha wrote:

Wingman wrote:and maybe they wanted to try something new... And yeah, something tells me Kitesu's right. That ultra thick neck has "I can punch through concrete walls" written all over it.

That ultra thick neck says "I can punch through concrete walls with my head" written all over it.
That might explain the violent nature of some werewolves: Massive Headaches!

Terastas wrote:It looks like they were in the process of ripping off another style of werewolf, then started to run out of money, slapped a human face on it and hoped nobody would notice.

I don't think there's that much oversight in the whole world. Even Stevie Wonder can see that thing ain't no werewolf.

Alpha wrote:I don't think there's that much oversight in the whole world. Even Stevie Wonder can see that thing ain't no werewolf.

Then they'll just do what all the other morons in Hollywood do: Stick their noses up and everyone and insist that they're bloody retarded if they can't see the brilliance of the work that they've done. As long as Paris Hilton still believes she can act, Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer still believe they can write and Uwe Boll still believes he can produce, I don't see any way of convincing the morons behind this project that they can't make a convincing werewolf either.

Or they're doing that as part of a desperate damage control scheme.

Terastas wrote:Then they'll just do what all the other morons in Hollywood do: Stick their noses up and everyone and insist that they're bloody retarded if they can't see the brilliance of the work that they've done.

They can be conceited all they want. When this thing bombs (and I have a feeling it will), it will hit them in their pocketbooks all the same.

Terastas wrote:I don't see any way of convincing the morons behind this project that they can't make a convincing werewolf either.

Well, when they fail to recoup their cost, maybe then they'll get a clue.

For that to happen, it'd have to bomb to the point where DVD release is impossible. Uwe Boll is still a rich schweinhund precisely because of DVD sales of his "movies".

Alpha wrote:Well, when they fail to recoup their cost, maybe then they'll get a clue.

What do they care? The movie could smash, bomb or anything in between at the box office, but they'll still get payed the exact same sum as was determined by their contracts. Only the studio will take a loss.

And all the jerks who made this film such a waste of film? This won't impact their capacity to find work, because there will always be an underfunded horror project with a crappy script out there somewhere whose producers will be willing to pay them their discount salaries if it means they can get that one cut and printed by the deadline.

A lot of people who work in horror, I'm beginning to realize, just consider finishing the project at all to be a major accomplishment. I'd be willing to bet that at least half of the dicks in their FX department have been getting by with crap for so long that they can no longer even imagine doing things any other way.

kitetsu wrote:For that to happen, it'd have to bomb to the point where DVD release is impossible. Uwe Boll is still a rich schweinhund precisely because of DVD sales of his "movies".

Let's just hope then, that hardly anyone will even buy or rent this (likely) piece of crap!

Terastas wrote:What do they care? The movie could smash, bomb or anything in between at the box office, but they'll still get payed the exact same sum as was determined by their contracts. Only the studio will take a loss.

Uggh!!! You're right. I didn't think of it that way. I say we go draconian on their a$$es then, and implement the death penalty as an incentive for them to do things right. Seriously though, it's just such a sad statement when that kind of sub-par work seems to be the acceptable norm.

kitetsu wrote:Uwe Boll is still a rich schweinhund precisely because of DVD sales of his "movies".

That, and because of German tax loopholes that reward his investment into his "movies".

kitetsu wrote:Uwe Boll is still a rich schweinhund precisely because of DVD sales of his "movies".

Actually, as a producer, Boll is a miserable failure. Not a single one of his movies has ever turned a profit.

Not that he cares. Most of his investors are just looking for tax write-offs. As for Boll himself, he loses money as a producer every time, but he also pays himself a humongous director's salary, which is how Boll himself makes his money.

Boll the producer keeps getting money to make his crap movies because of stupid rich people being willing to spend $50,000 a piece on him just to avoid having to pay $10,000 in taxes to the government, and Boll the director keeps getting hired because Boll the producer is his biggest fan.

The same is more or less true of Hilton and Friedberg / Seltzer. Their schemes aren't quite as intricate as Boll's, but both of them work at the proverbial discount, which will guarantee them future work on future crap projects.

Vampires Suck was an utter P.O.S., but because they were so bloody cheap with the production, they were able to make twice as much as it cost to make the film on their opening weekend alone. The strategy behind The Howling, I believe, will be the same: Keep the movie cheap and crappy so it can pay for itself in the first week and who gives a damn if it pitters out completely the week later.

Uwe Boll is a miserable failure regardless. I was quite shocked to see on Imdb that his latest movies are actually getting more praise nowadays. I personally don't care what he directs because ever since I've seen Alone in the Dark I really don't want to see any more turds that he puts out. I can't take any director serious who openly states that he doesn't like videgames, to me this is complete disrespect for the sourcematerial and the only reason he makesthose movies is because videogames are hot.

I'm gonna end my little Uwe Boll rant right there.

Alone in the Dark is not so bad after watching Bloodrayne, my god that is the most horrible movie I have ever seen in my entire life! I thought I have seen it all before my dad rented that piece of crap. To make matters worst, I watched it with a friend who was spending the night.....I pretty much wanted to go play Russian Roulette with a fully loaded revolver after it was over. Also I find it pathetic that the movie has to include a copy of the game to get it to sell.

Shadow Wulf wrote:Alone in the Dark is not so bad after watching Bloodrayne, my god that is the most horrible movie I have ever seen in my entire life! I thought I have seen it all before my dad rented that piece of crap. To make matters worst, I watched it with a friend who was spending the night.....I pretty much wanted to go play Russian Roulette with a fully loaded revolver after it was over. Also I find it pathetic that the movie has to include a copy of the game to get it to sell.

Made even more crappy by the fact that he inexplicably got Ben Kingsley to play the villain.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fKkblOpKYLk

And #2 on that list had Dennis Hopper playing the villain! And #8 had Raul Julia! How do all these utter crap video game adaptations get all these great actors to play the villains!

Neither of them objected anyway. Besides, Hopper's dead, and Raul Julia was dying, so he gave his kids a final goodbye in the form of the hammiest version of M. Bison ever.

But for him, it was Tuesday.

Bloodrayne wasn't even that good as a game, it was very mediocre hack and slash stuff. Why anyone would want to turn that into a movie is beyond me. I can understand why companies want to turn FarCry or Resident Evil into a movie, these are popular franchises unlike Bloodrayne.

kitetsu wrote:Neither of them objected anyway. Besides, Hopper's dead, and Raul Julia was dying, so he gave his kids a final goodbye in the form of the hammiest version of M. Bison ever.

But for him, it was Tuesday.

Hey you leave Raul Julia alone! Best Bison ever! "Of Course!" Plus he's we are from the same island.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jv163P-WQJ8

Morkulv wrote:Bloodrayne wasn't even that good as a game, it was very mediocre hack and slash stuff. Why anyone would want to turn that into a movie is beyond me. I can understand why companies want to turn FarCry or Resident Evil into a movie, these are popular franchises unlike Bloodrayne.

Because it was available. This is the same guy who staked claims on Postal and Dungeon Siege after all.

Also, Hopper didn't die until about twenty years later, and Julia was the only M. Bison.