I remember I did start a thread awhile ago where I posted one of my lame jokes; it was the one about stepping on a duck. I can't come up with jokes, but I love hearing them and then telling to others. The thing is that I always change the joked to appeal to me more, and I always make them really long for no reason. And don’t tell me I didn’t warn you, my jokes are lame.
Yet anyhow:
A man was driving down a peaceful country road, yet as he gazed to his side he saw a llama and a farmer out in a field. Next to the llama stood a sign that read: “Llama for Sale’. He was intrigued by this llama; it was the most beautiful llama he had ever seen! Not to mention he had heard llamas were very lovable creatures, so he felt the need to have one. The man’s brother had owned some land near here anyway; maybe he could keep the llama there!
So the man pulls up to the driveway, gets out of his car, and approaches the old man. “Excuse me sir.” The man called out. “Is that the llama that is for sale?”
“Yes, she is.” Answered the farmer, and he led the llama up to the man.
“I would love to buy her.” The man said, moving his hand over the llama’s thick wool.
“Okay.” The old man nodded. “Yet she doesn’t look so good.”
The man looked at the llama, he felt a bit through her wool.
“She looks perfectly fine.” Answered the man.
The old man shook his head. “She doesn’t look good.”
The man once again checked out the llama, he studied its legs, looked at her big eyes, and even looked at her crooked teeth.
“She looks perfect.” The man said, yet the old man just shook his head in response. The man saw this was just going no where. “Well, look, I’ll just buy the llama and go.”
The man bought the llama and the next day he picked her up. Yet the day after that the man came rushing back, furious as can be.
“The llama you sold me was blind!” he yelled at the old farmer.
The old man stepped back and answered: “I told you she didn’t look so good.”
One day and Priest and a Nun were out golfing. The Priest was hovering over his putter staring at the golf ball, he was right on the green and the hole was right there! The Priest hit the golf ball, it rolled right past the hole.
“Damn, I always miss those close ones!” He murmured.
The Nun shot him an accusing look. “You better not say that or God will strike you down!” she scolded.
The Priest went on to the putting, once again the ball rolled past the hole.
He stomped his foot into the turf. “Damn, I always miss those close ones!”
The Nun once again game him a mean look. “I already told you; don’t say bad words or God will strike you down.”
The Priest tried yet once again, and again, he missed.
“Damn! I always miss those close ones!” he cried.
Then, there was a giant flash of light and a clash of thunder as a bolt of lightning hit the Nun.
Then god said “Damn, I always miss those close ones.”