THE PACK Message Boards

wakes up Hearth and reminds him he is not rambo and veitnam is over, then stabs him and Jarden with a boying knife
now i claim the hill
(starts playing russian and American ww2 music)
*also note that there were no hornets in veitnam, they were proable more likey the f-4 phantom*

I use the catapult I'd used earlier to fling a tape recording over to LRD. It has a timer, so when it lands, it plays automatically.

It only has three seconds of tape on it. The message is:

ZEEKY BOOGY DOOG.

After the smoke clears and the radiation levels are down to hospitable levels, I reclaim the hill.

A space-time travel device disguised as a British phone booth plops down from the sky on top of Terastas with a messy splat.

Another me from a parallel universe steps out. I'm King again!

but the other you in a parrel universe has no muscles, so i just roll you up and store you in my closest with my old N64 and dreamcast
IM the king Fools!(no offensive )

A cataclysmic explosion emanates from your closet, obliterating both your N-64 and Dreamcast. In rolling me up, you effectively put me back into my tightly wound extra spatial dimension, but in the process created a rift in space-time, followed by a singularity. A new Big Bang then happens, and 0.000000001 seconds later, all familiar space and time is destroyed by the sudden expansion of the new universe, of which...

I am King.

And as a result of this time flux, a Terastas from an alternative universe is flung through time, one that has become strengthened by the deaths of many of his former selves (like Jet Li in The One).

This enhanced demi-Godly Terry sneaks up behind the currently reigning king and gives him a kick in the nuts that sends him into orbit.

A time-space-hole appears to the fabric of the universe. (Called Cosm) Hearth steps out of it and shows Terastas a piece of kryptonite, and prods him with a stick. Terastas falls into tiny pieces.

Hearth reigns.

I hand Heath a wad of antimatter, which promptly annihilates with him, leaving an explosive emission of photons.

I step back, and when the reaction finishes, I put back on the crown.

I stand behind Scott's back and say just loud enough for him to overhear: "If it wasn't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college," then get the hell out of there before he has time to turn around and ask me what the hell I was talking about.

True to Lewis Black's definition of an aneurysm, Scott spends a week dwelling on that before his brain completely shuts down and he's discovered three days later dead on the john.

I get the crown a few days later at a police auction in Memphis.

Darn it! I'm going to be up all night now...

Anirbas goes to memphis to duel Terastas, but soon realizes that this isn't the wild west. so, she then decides to run up behind him while he is sitting on the throne and tickle him to death.
she runs of with the crown
Anirbas is now, Queen Of the hill

yay!

Syzygy crawls out the pit of pythons Anirbas so cruelly threw him into. (He fought like mad, for he hates snakes.) Anyway...

I'm mad and I want revenge!

I sneak up to Anirbas and stab her with a specially modified bicycle pump. I immediately begin pumping furiously. Anirbas swells up to a 100 times her size... and... finally... POP!!!

I am king!

grabs Syzgy by the throat and throws him into the chamber of death were he must listen to telli tubbies for 24,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 years
eventully he hangs himself and i claim the throne

Anirbas (after being sown back together by her evil henchmen) Poisons the royal water and claims her place as Queen

(does my face look alright?)

I had foreseen my own death (I'd already died eight times before so it seemed obvious enough), and so instructed one of my most loyal followers that, upon my death, they were to direct the current monarch to the corrupted wish thread.

Inevitably, one of Anirbas's wishes creates a horde of zombies, myself among them. After I eat her brains, I use a GPD (Generic Plot Device) which restores all the zombies back to human form. I'm king again.

^
^
^
^
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My brain got eated




yes i know eated is not a word

Having been killed by a strange phrase, re-animated as a zombie, and then returned to life as a human, I arrange to get myself bitten again so I can be my normal self, and then I proceed to Terastas, secretly installing Windows, Millennium Edition on a computer and swapping it out for the one he normally uses.

He waits for it to load. He waits for it to finish loading. He waits for it to finish rebooting. He clicks on the error message. He tries to get it unfrozen, and then waits for it to reboot... After several days of this, he hangs himself with a USB cable.

I erase all traces or accounts of Scott ever becoming King, and rewrite every History book to instead claim me as Queen 'Doodles.

As long as everyone thinks I'm Queen, then it doesn't really matter if I am or not.

I point out that Outwarddoodles doesn't have the crown or occupation of the hill and she gets the chair for attempted fraud and royalty impersonation. Then I activate the self-destruct sequence on my laptop to eliminate Scott.

Then I untie the USB cable from around my waist (*wink-wink*), dust myself off and, like the suicidal kitty I am, resume my spot on the hill.

plays rocky song, and wins by knockout angeast Terastas and claims the hill

Upload all the records from a backup copy on a Linux-based notebook, and then, realizing that someone else is also claiming title of King, I load a bootleg DVD-reader program, load Darkwolf, and point the screen away from me. Upon viewing the CGI shapeshift in which the clothes disappear, LoyalReaperDragon's head explodes!

And, I'm king again!

*moves checker piece to back row of checker board*

"crown me"

Ok, I'm king.

I shove a rubber duck down Scott's throat causing him to choke to death, which easily gets Figarou booked for the murder and sent to the chair.

I get Figarou's crown at a police auction in El Paso.

calls in a "friend" who owned him a favor and Terastas is found dead, chocked by a piano wire
LRD takes the crown at the insuing auciton

Since I don't know what "Deadl" means, I check it on my spellchecker and "Deadly" comes up before "Dead," so I assume that's what LRD meant to say.

And indeed I am deadly, especially now that I've acquired a Hattori Hanzo sword. LRD and I reenact a scene from Kill Bill: Vol. 1 which ends in the rock garden with him getting scalped.

You'd think I'd be used to dying by now. . .