THE PACK Message Boards

Someone out there might need a good laugh

Dog's Letter to God
++++++++++++++++++++++

Dear God,

Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a
good dog:

I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.

I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.

I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box; although they are tasty, they are not food.

The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.

The sofa is not a face towel; neither are Mom and Dad's laps.

The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and registration.

I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is not an acceptable way of saying hello.

I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.

I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house.

I will not throw up in the car.

I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.

The cat is not a squeaky toy; so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

Dear God, May I have my testicles back?

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Kamara

Ha.

Some things he forgot:

- The vacuum cleaner is not my enemy.

- Rolling in the grass is not the proper way to dry off after a bath.

- My name is not "Dinner Time."

- I will not seek an audience before licking myself.

- There are no such things as love bites.

I used to have a good dog -bad dog list (a cat one too) that was hysterical but it died on my old computer
Ive never been able to find the complete list again. Ive seen quite a few sites that do have some of it.


Kamara


PS-Speaking of things that ought to be on the list, Gabriel (my wolf mix) is laying at my feet and farting in his sleep GAK
Personally I think they pretend to be asleep and are just torturing us for amusement.

oh i got one!!

-Dead things are NOT an appropriate gift!

Hahaha! Half of that stuff my dog does.

Heres one

- I will not roll over in menuever even though they make great way to rid of fleas.