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Here are the cannadates...

1) I see stupid people.

2) I like blowing up my limbs with M-80's... It's meat-clouderrefic!!

3) If i shove food up my butt, will I poop out of my mouth?

4) Yeah, I slept with your mother, but... she wasn't all that great. (BURN!)

5) TWINS!!... no... it's my brain tumor acting up again.

6) So, how many times did your parents drop you on your head so you can be that happy?

7) When you say you're an asset... you're really off by two letters.

8.) How many times do I have to tell you!? Eat all of the sleeping pills then drink the vodkah... idiot!

9) Luagh now... your next!

10) Yeah... I really need you stop commplaning.

11) Man, your an idiot!... Oh well, time to vote for Bush!

12) Jesus juice!? Love some!!

13) When I say special... I mean special bus, special.

14) You're so stupid you think there are WOD in Iraq!

15) OH MY GWAD! THEY KILLED KENNY!!... YOU BASTARDS!

16) Okay... You die now!

17) Respond to this post, Playboy bunnies will shower you with lap dances and beer.

18.) Is any body going to say it?... Really?... Fine... GENTITAL WARTS!!

19) There is an evil monkey in my closet!

20) Dad, Tom Cruise wont come out of the closet!

21) HELP! Micheal Jackson is at my.... no... NO!!... AHHH!!!... THAT DOESN'T GO THERE!!!... YEE!! HEE!!

22) I hate you... I love you... I'M BIPOLAR!!

23) My mom over medicates me

24) Why don't you shove a Ven-te razor up you're a**, you tall brained moron. I hope you choke on a Biscotti!

25) My daddy drinks because I cry.

26) Join the dark-side and get a free cookie

27) If at first you don't succeed, then sky diving isn't for you.

28.) I have the body of a god... It's a shame it's budda

29) Luke, I am your mother, now put away that lightsaber before you put your eye out!

30) blood is the best lubricant

31) If at first you don't succeed, then sky diving isn't for you.

32) Suicide is funny

((Feel free to add to the list))

How about

"The guitar dude from Metallica"

Haha! See the joke? See?

So there is no joke. -Sighs-

But there is a joke in "THE BEATLES ELF WITH THE BAD HAIR CUT GOT EATEN BY A SHARK!"

I have a addition to number 8 "Eat all the sleeping pills then take the Vodka idiot! Dude thats vi*gra!!!! .....oh thats just nasty" (inspiration from Scary Movie 4 )

I posted more

I add yours if i think they're funny.

My mom over medicates me

Why don't you shove a Ven-te razor up you're a**, you tall brained moron. I hope you choke on a Biscotti

my daddy drinks ecause I cry

Why be just difficult, when with a little effort, you can be impossible

Join the dark-side and get a free cookie

Nice! some of those are pretty funny

The more I study, the more I know,
The more I know, the more I forget,
The more I forget, the less I know,
SO WHY STUDY?

I am a nobody, and nobody's perfect, therefore I am perfect.

WHO NEEDS HAIR WITH A BODY LIKE MINE!!!

I HAVE THE BODY OF A GOD....SHAME ITS BUDDHA.

IS THERE LIFE AFTER DEATH??? P*SS ME OFF AND FIND OUT

SHOOT FIRST ...ASK QUESTIONS LATER..

ID RATHER BE JUDGED BY TWELVE THAN CARRIED BY SIX

WHEN IN DOUBT..... EMPTY THE MAG..

TWO TO THE CHEST... AND ONE TO THE HEAD...

(About Michael Jackson.)
You gotta pick a race first. All of a sudden you're a black man, then you're Diana Ross, now you're Audrey Hepburn. Then he's got the little beard going on. He's like Lord Of The Rings, the entire cast. Michael's about to jump species.

If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?

I dream for a living.

Oh my god! One liners. Once I start I cannot stop! 3...2....1...

-I'm ambadextrious. I need both hands to choke a man to death.

-When I toured Europe, the called it "The Dark Ages".

-If blood were green, that would be my favorite color.

-Splatter is my favorite color.

-They once named a street Kaebora. They receintly changed the name because too many people died on that street. Nobody crosses Kaebora and lives!

-Kaebora's calender goes from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Kaebora.

-There is the right way, the wrong way, and the Kaebora way. It's basically the right way but faster and more deaths.

-I played a round of Russian Roulette with a FULLY LOADED gun and won.

-If you wake up in the morning, it's because I spared your life.

-I wasn't born. I was unleashed.

-I don't speak any foreign languages, but I can make any foreigner speak English in a matter of minutes.

-Quetin Tarantino was asked to direct a biography about Kaebora. He passed. It was too violent.

You can insert your own name where mine is. Urk... I feel more one liners coming. RUUUUN!

Luke, I am your mother, now put away that lightsaber before you put your eye out!

My mind has been hooked directly to windows. GAAHHHHHHHH!!
What was that?
It just crashed.

BLOOD IS THE BEST LUBRICANT



IT'S WORSE THAN THAT...HE'S DEAD JIM!

I'm ambadextrious. I need both hands to choke a man to death.

I actually am ambidextrous. Im not a murderer though.

How about Sid from Ice Age:

"What in the animal kingdom was that?"

K-Fed's #1 Fan.
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If at first you don't succeed, then sky diving isn't for you.

I already use my own.