Nothin' like Corny Jokes.

outwarddoodles · Post by **outwarddoodles** » Fri Jun 24, 2005 6:57 pm

I was wondering if any of you all have a nice corny joke to share? I got one, and to make it nice and funneir I'll personalize it;

Anthony, Vuldari, Figaruo and Scott had finished meeting each other at A-kon and were ready to go eat at the very crowded Chinese resturant. So the four got into a car while Anthony drove along. So, they're driving along when suddenly the car infrount of them stopped for a flock of ducks passing by, their car swerved and fell off the side of the road. Crashed.

The four found themselves in, surprisingly enough, heaven. Where an Angel greeted them and showed them a lovely city. Yet warned them of one thing; 'Just don't step on any ducks'. Fig instantly snicked at the fact of Duckies and joked; 'Will they blow up on us?' to the others. The angel didn't answer and just strolled away. Though the group wondered apon the duckie warning they didn't give it a time of day and walked around exploring Heaven together. They soon found themselves hanging out in a hotel for that time.

Vuldari become a bored fellow and decieded to reflect as taking a walk in a park. A beautiful park indeed, with a duck pound in the center. We strolled along thinking when suddenly... 'QUACK!'. Vuldari looked down to see that he had stepped on a Duck. He instantly remembered the previous warning. So he started making his way home when a weird, ugly, disfigured women started to fallow him. He didn't ask her or anything, it was heaven, what could happen to him? The others noticed the ugly lady as Vuldari got home. 'I just stepped on some Duck and then there she was!'

Later the Women just seemed to disapeer. Anthony was quite the hungry man though. He woke up in the middle of the night and found his way through the dark hotel room to a great fridge filled with all kinds of great food. Anthony got out a nice snack and turned around stepping through the darkness when...'QUACK!' Anthony looked down to see he had stepped on a duck. Before he knew it another ugly wemon was there in the room fallowing him.

The next morning when the other guys woke up and saw Anthony they snickered that Anthony stepped on duck! Later that women too went away. The foursome then knew why you shouldn't step on the duck, they they didn't know why it happened. Well, Figarou was feeling down and all, and decided to go to the Mall and see if they have any home theatre stuff. He left on the bus to there.

Later the three others decieded to go to the Mall too and see what they could find and get their hands on. AS they went they saw Fig and a very beautiful Lady next to them, they were both walking together. Scott ran up to him and wispered in his ear. 'How'd you get this new friend?' Figaruo blushed at him and said 'She stepped on a duck.'

---------------
Corny, I know, but worth a read eh? And Fig, I don't really think your Ugly so don't take that to heart!

Vilkacis · Post by **Vilkacis** » Fri Jun 24, 2005 7:08 pm

outwarddoodles wrote:A beautiful park indeed, with a duck pound in the center.

A duck pound, eh?

And maybe personalizing these is not such a great idea.

-- Vilkacis

outwarddoodles · Post by **outwarddoodles** » Fri Jun 24, 2005 7:32 pm

I meant Duck Pond!

Vilkacis · Post by **Vilkacis** » Fri Jun 24, 2005 7:37 pm

I knew what you meant.

-- Vilkacis

WolvenOne · Post by **WolvenOne** » Fri Jun 24, 2005 7:41 pm

Okay, I have a pun I accidentally cracked a few months ago during a rather significant event. Please don't get mad cause at the time it really wasn't intentional.

So, my mother and I are channel surfing and happen upon the live coverage of the Pope's funeral.

Idly my mother comments outloud, "I can't believe they wouldn't embalm the pope, by now I would think he'd be starting to smell.

To which I replied, "Maybe they used lots of Pope-purri."

*runs!*

WolvenOne · Post by **WolvenOne** » Fri Jun 24, 2005 7:43 pm

and for extra torment...

What do you get when you combine a mexican resteraunt with a phone company?

..Talko Bell.

*runs FASTER*

Hamster · Post by **Hamster** » Fri Jun 24, 2005 9:52 pm

Two duckies are studying for a test. The other stops and says, "Aww, man! This test is driving me crazy!"

The other says, "Yeah, this is driving me quackers!"

Figarou · Post by **Figarou** » Fri Jun 24, 2005 10:21 pm

Allen wrote:Two duckies are studying for a test. The other stops and says, "Aww, man! This test is driving me crazy!"

The other says, "Yeah, this is driving me quackers!"

A guy walks into a bar with a steering wheel sticking out of his pants.

Bartender says.."Whats with the steering wheel?"

Guy says "Its driving me nuts!!"

Hamster · Post by **Hamster** » Fri Jun 24, 2005 11:52 pm

Figarou wrote:
Allen wrote:Two duckies are studying for a test. The other stops and says, "Aww, man! This test is driving me crazy!"

The other says, "Yeah, this is driving me quackers!"

A guy walks into a bar with a steering wheel sticking out of his pants.

Bartender says.."Whats with the steering wheel?"

Guy says "Its driving me nuts!!"

Bad Figarou! *Spanks*

Lupin · Post by **Lupin** » Sat Jun 25, 2005 12:07 am

Two blondes walk into a bar.

The third one ducks.

I always liked that one because everyone I tell it to has a delayed reaction.

Figarou · Post by **Figarou** » Sat Jun 25, 2005 12:09 am

Lupin wrote:Two blondes walk into a bar.

The third one ducks.

I always liked that one because everyone I tell it to has a delayed reaction.

yup, its the shortest bar joke out there.

Hamster · Post by **Hamster** » Sat Jun 25, 2005 12:26 am

Lupin wrote:Two blondes walk into a bar.

The third one ducks.

I always liked that one because everyone I tell it to has a delayed reaction.

I don't get it.

Lupin · Post by **Lupin** » Sat Jun 25, 2005 12:49 am

Allen wrote:
Lupin wrote:Two blondes walk into a bar.

The third one ducks.

I always liked that one because everyone I tell it to has a delayed reaction.
I don't get it.

Think 2x4.

Hamster · Post by **Hamster** » Sat Jun 25, 2005 1:00 am

Lupin wrote:
Allen wrote:
Lupin wrote:Two blondes walk into a bar.

The third one ducks.

I always liked that one because everyone I tell it to has a delayed reaction.
I don't get it.
Think 2x4.

Nope got nothin'

Figarou · Post by **Figarou** » Sat Jun 25, 2005 1:18 am

Allen wrote:
Lupin wrote:
Allen wrote:
Lupin wrote:Two blondes walk into a bar.

The third one ducks.

I always liked that one because everyone I tell it to has a delayed reaction.
I don't get it.
Think 2x4.
Nope got nothin'

Ok, 2 people walk into a bar. *hits head on bar* Bonk!!

The 3rd ducks under the bar.

get it now?

Raina The Werewolf Queen · Sat Jun 25, 2005 2:32 am

Lets see the worst I can think of.

A hores walked into a bar.
the bartender says "Hey why the long face?"

I hate that but evry time I hear it I have to kaugh. I dont know why

Hamster · Post by **Hamster** » Sat Jun 25, 2005 2:40 am

Figarou wrote:
Allen wrote:
Lupin wrote:
Allen wrote:
Lupin wrote:Two blondes walk into a bar.

The third one ducks.

I always liked that one because everyone I tell it to has a delayed reaction.
I don't get it.
Think 2x4.
Nope got nothin'

Ok, 2 people walk into a bar. *hits head on bar* Bonk!!

The 3rd ducks under the bar.

get it now?

I wish I didn't ask

.......

Dreamerwolf · Post by **Dreamerwolf** » Sat Jun 25, 2005 3:22 pm

If you tell this one with a straight face, you can catch people off gaurd, whch makes it quite funny.

Hey, did you hear about that actress, Peekaboo? I just read in the paper that she was hired at the hospital here in town. yeah...but then she got fired! Why? Well, she would answer the phone "Peekaboo, ICU."

Hamster · Post by **Hamster** » Sat Jun 25, 2005 3:31 pm

Dreamerwolf wrote:If you tell this one with a straight face, you can catch people off gaurd, whch makes it quite funny.

Hey, did you hear about that actress, Peekaboo? I just read in the paper that she was hired at the hospital here in town. yeah...but then she got fired! Why? Well, she would answer the phone "Peekaboo, ICU."

..........................

Figarou · Post by **Figarou** » Sun Jun 26, 2005 5:28 am

Allen wrote:
Bad Figarou! *Spanks*

*ahem* Look at what you posted here.

http://calypso-blue.com/werewolf/viewto ... 6139#16139

Bad Allen!! *spanks*

Hamster · Post by **Hamster** » Sun Jun 26, 2005 12:43 pm

Figarou wrote:
Allen wrote:
Bad Figarou! *Spanks*
*ahem* Look at what you posted here.

http://calypso-blue.com/werewolf/viewto ... 6139#16139

Bad Allen!! *spanks*

*Wimps*

Terastas · Post by **Terastas** » Sun Jun 26, 2005 3:11 pm

Let the pun-ishment commence!

A wizard had hired a family of gnomes to tend to his studies while at work in his potions shoppe. He discovered shortly after hiring them that, while the gnomes did indeed keep a clean house, they had a habit of pilfering his vials of magical fluids, lighting them and using them to make coffee. Upon his discovery, he warned them: "I'll give you one last chance, but I'm warning you, if I see anyone using my components inappropriately this way again, I will turn the lot of you into frogs."

Content that his intentions were clear, he continued about his normal routine. Then one day he closed up early and came home to find the family of gnomes standing on chairs around the table holding a coffee pot over a burning vial of bat's blood. He yelled some words I can't repeat and drew his wand. "Alakazam!" and three of the four gnomes turned into frogs.

He turned his wand towards the last one, who demanded: "What are you doing?!"

"I warned you," said the wizard. "No perking. Vial lighters will be toad."

*flips his desk over to hide from the inevitable ducky shower*

Figarou · Post by **Figarou** » Sun Jun 26, 2005 3:22 pm

Terastas wrote:
"I warned you," said the wizard. "No perking. Vial lighters will be toad."

Hmmmm.....

No parking Violaters will be towed.

Terastas wrote:*flips his desk over to hide from the inevitable ducky shower*

HA!! Thats my next project!! wolf getting hit by lots of duckies!!

Thanks, Terastas.

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Nothin' like Corny Jokes.

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