Figarou wrote:edit...changed the title of this thread.
Okay..."How deep is my obsession?".
First of all, I really don't have any perticular "obsession" about WEREWOLVES specifically, or even a significant interest in WOLVES, moreso than any other interesting animals.
However...I DO have a definate "obsession" with the concept of
transformation and an insistance that Humans are just as much "Animal" as other creatures (but could afford to be more accepting of that fact). Werewolves just happen to be the most commonly known fictional/mythological shapeshifters. ...with the added bonus of being a contractable state of being. (In other words...according to the
popular mythology, it is posible for a NORMAL person, like myself, to
become a shapeshifter.)
I think about transforming into anaother form
every day of my life, and often dwell upon thoughts about living as something "ferral".
This inspires me to do some "strange" things from time to time, such as trying move my body like another animal (walking on toes...and/or all fours, slinking, trotting, swinging like a monkey, swimming like a frog or a fish, etc.), or having an unnatural facination with the visible presence of a full moon in the sky (because of the "traditional" connection with Werewolves...well...a fairly
recent tradition anyway, created by Hollywood and Science Ficton), as well as an odd habit of staring at, and flexing my hand...imagining that it is, or is becoming, somthing distinctly
different.
I have howled at the moon more than a few times over the years, but recently it seems to have lost it's value to me , and have not felt any desire to do so for months, or recieved any real sense of
satisfaction out of it anymore when I do "for old times sake". Even walking through dark woods under the light of a full moon (something I do any chance I get) doesn't mean the same thing to me as it used to. I suppose it is just the effect of the inevitable dissalusionment of experiencing soo many full moons and nothing ever coming of it. (...what was I expecting anyway?)
I too will often "Growl" when I am angry...but only when I'm sure no one can hear me. In the presence of others, I usually mantain an almost impressive stance of calm, kind indifference...as if nothing at all phases me. ...which is, of course, a lie I present to the world, and to myself...
I have two reasons for why
I don't bother to shave, (most of the time). One...it's just natural. My biology says I have hair on my face, and I like how it looks there (I feel "fuzzy"...
), so I see no reason to cut it off, and TWO...shaving is a terrible bother, and I'm lazy, so Not-shaving is just easier.
If I spend more than 15 minutes
anywhere I instantly begin to feel like I am "at home". HOME to me is just what is "familiar". However, wooded arias, (especially thick, shadowy ones which are almost "dark" even in broad daylight...very old and full of life), are definaely perticualrly welcoming to me. There are many places I feel that I am a stanger and unwolcome, but I
allways feel welcome and comfortable under a canopy of trees, or on the shore of a lake...even if those trees are on someone elses private property. (I got in trouble for tresspassing alot as a young child, before I fully grasped the concept of "borders". I liked to lounge in, and under
other peoples trees.)
Exatly WHAT I am "obsessing" about has gradually changed and evolved over the years, and will contunue to do so, without a doubt, but
whatever my obsession is, its DEEP. ...really,
Really Deep.
Yup...I'm
Nuts...
), walk on toes, etc. I've also gotten called a 'girl' or 'cat' on multiple occaisons because i rarely clip my nails, but this is for two reasons 1) Nails are useful, help peal of stickers or open things, oh, and theres clawing stuff. hehe. 2) They grow fast and i'm lazy as hell. Because, you know, its girly and catlike to be a lazy bum who can't be bothered to cut his nails and puts them to use. 
)
