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*Sigh*

This week: Vikings Vs Samurai

The Viking is a drunken muscle bound idiot who does nothing but rape and pillage all day, he is a slower than all hell and he has IQ of a rock, with no idea how to strategize and no concept of discipline. The Samurai is a graceful anime character with lightening fast reflexes. Really. Anime and Spike T.V. told me so.

This show seems to have a hard on for throwing elite warriors against either foot soldiers or slaves. The first episode had an Apache (Serious warrior) vs a Gladiator (A slave who fought to entertain the masses), tonight’s episode had a baseline Viking warrior (foot soldier) vs a Samurai (elite knight equivalent). Next episode will feature a ninja (stealthy assassin) against...a Spartan warrior (foot soldier). The episode after that? A Buddhist monk (who can punch through stone walls) vs cave man (armed with a stone club and wearing a dinosaur skin loincloth).

The Spoony One hits the nail on the head: http://www.spoonyexperiment.com/2009/04 ... /#comments

I can kind of see where the Viking / Samurai connection is drawn because both Norse mythology and the samurai warrior code state that it is an honor to die on the battlefield. But yeah, the vikings were more raiders than warriors -- it's practically a rehash of the pirates vs. ninjas debate (and this is coming from a guy descended from the vikings; even I wouldn't expect them to match a samurai).

And I'm sure this was all penned by a couple of guys that have had the pirates vs. ninjas discussion a hundred times already. It's like a comic book geek's version of Animal Face-Off (which was also a big steaming load of crap).

This show doesn't take into account the tactical strengths and weaknesses of either side. Samurai were talented and trained warriors and archers on horseback, and a mounted samurai would run down any foot warrior in short order. Vikings were never known for fighting on horseback, but it would have been a vital comparison of their skills. Vikings' true strength lay in berserk mobs and intimidation, as well as their sailing and raiding skills. Samurai were more suited to open-field battle.

This show ignores each sides' relative strengths and their favored battlegrounds and fighting styles. They're focusing too much on comparing the weapons and armor. I think a much better match up would be a Samurai vs a Knight, or a Viking Berserker. Or a Knight Berserker.

Put the viking up against something like a Maori warrior.

EDIT: Okay, I do give the show credit for finally countering all the god damn katana wank. It was hilarious, now whenever I see some otaku wanking out the katana I'm going to link him to a video of said blade bouncing off the chainmail like it was made of cheap rubber.