THE PACK Message Boards

I am proud to say, that I can now pass a.. test. Before I say what type of test, I want to explain myself. Starting a three years ago, two new neighbors moved in, they were cool with me, and I had very few friends that I saw face-to-face. I did everything to fit in with them, they were 22 and 23, so they were legal to drink. I tried to fit in, so i drank a little. One night, when I got to a level of bad drinking, they decided to smoke in front o me. Newports. I was intoxicated, and in that I didn't think about the consequences, I smoked that night. I kept doing it and then, another night, they brought out the WORST thing I've ever done, they brought out...drugs, specifacally weed. I tried it to find out why so many people did it. I was hooked. This all took place over two years. i went on drinking, smoking, and doing weed for a year. I got caught with weed in school. My dad just got out of jail, and he took me to Conway. I got there and found the same type of people here. I got caught being truent during lunch most days, they didn't give me a punishment because they figured I was doing something bad off of campus, since I was always back in time for class, then, I was caught with a cigarette in the gym, I received three days in alternative school for it, then, I was caught, big time, I was caught leaving campus during lunch, breaking into someones back yard, and smoking weed there with four other guys, they then got me, because, that day, I smoked a cigarette on the bus, and someone told the driver that they smelled weed, I got 10 days suspension and a forced counseling, then I got 2 days of alternative for stealing (I was looking at a friends watch, but my teacher didn't see my friend HAND it to me), one saturday school for the truancy, and one saturday for being tardy to the class after lunch. The way I ordered it wasn't in the order that it actually happened. The big one, the one of breaking into that ladies back yard, smoking weed with four other guys, truancy, and coming to school under the influence of marijuana(I didn't get a punishment for that), I had to go to counseling, my parents decided to send me to rehab. I went, stayed for the longest possible, 10 days, I was caught smoking a cigarette there, I slept on hard matresses, got up at 5, went to bed at 8, had counseling all day, and ate hospital food all of this time. After all of this, I realized what it was doing to my friends, such as how I left the Pack for so long, my family, and everyone else. I stopped, smoking cigarettes was a lot harder than the weed and drinking was, I still have minor trouble with cigarettes, but I am proud to say, that for the first time in a little more than a year, I will pass a drug test. Oddly enough, one of my best friends, trisha, she sells weed, I am ok with her, because she doesn't use weed, and she does it to help her family, she has a LOT of siblings, and her dad recently left her mom. That is the only way they have of making it. I have started to help, since I am almost as old as her, she is too young to get a legal job, everywhere needs a work permit to hire a 15 year old, and to get one, you must already be hired, it's a vicious circle. (Yes, I got that from Dane Cook) But, she has to sell to make it, when she turns 16 in a couple months I am making SURE that she gets a real job, so she doesn't have to do this terrible act.

The reason I posted this is because for so long, I deserted my Pack, my family, without a single thought about it . I am terribly sorry about that. I also wanted to share with my family the great accomplishment, I think it is, that I have accomplished. If you all want me to leave the Pack after I have rezealed my secret to you all, I will understand . I now stand before my brothers and sisters and await the long-awaited justice.

I don't think that we'll think of you differently now that you've told us this. Personally, I think you have made quite an accomplishment in your life, and I hope that everyone here is just as proud of you for conquering your addiction as you are. Not much more needs to be said than that.

The tricky thing with addictions, is that sometimes they'll sneak up on you, when you least want or desire them. For some, they learn early on. For some folks I've known over the years, they've been climbing out of the bottle or putting needles away for 10, 15 or 20 years or more. You still have the rest of your life ahead of you - and it's your decision with how you go about it. Congratulations. You've gotten to 1st base. You can either make it Home, or you can go Out.

Like Baph said... You've done well, but there is a long road to travel yet.

Keep up with what you're doing, and you'll make it. Just remember, one slip is all it takes.

Be hard on yourself until you have earned your own trust. I know, it sounds strange, but it's what is real.

For what it's worth, I'm proud of what you have accomplished. Keep it up.

Thank you all. This is probably the support that I need. i added a small token on my signature to remind me that, even at my most depressed moments, usually when I forget the damned anti-depression pill, I still have my pack, my friends, and my other self. Thank you all. Any more advice on this would be GREATLY appreciated though, there is a LOT, understatement, 3 out of 5 kids have drugs at my school, so there is a great temptation. Any advice on how to avoid that?

Addiction is a terrible thing. Kudos for trying to live your life without it.