A lot of Lone Wolves here

Kirk Hammett · Post by **Kirk Hammett** » Tue Apr 17, 2007 10:23 pm

Social behaviour has always been an interest of mine. I wouldn't mind asking people some questions here, and I will start with this one, although there's a few more I'd like to ask and observe, but it is up to you whether you answer

I think almost every single person here is a 'Lone wolf' according to Anubis's profile page.

Why is that?

I can be a lone wolf a hell of a lot myself, even when I'm working with a group, but usually I just hold a suboordinate position but am able to work with my own train of thought (Sometimes getting lost in the process from what everyone else is doing).

Normally, I see "Alpha, alpha, beta, alpha". Bit different this time.

Who here has a group they sit with at school, or a work group, a college/Uni group, or several? Who is in a band here, or something similar? Who has a real pack? (Not a real werewolf pack, I mean a therianthrope pack, or a 'pack' of werewolf fans, this board is the latter).

I have a lot of groups of friends I hang with and am in a band also and generally hold a pretty suboordinate role in each, as human groups almost always have a heirarchy according to personality and circumstance. I don't have a 'therianthrope' pack but I see my band as a pack, and usually pinpoint who is leader in any group situation, who I must respect and pay the most attention to. It's not a therianthrope trait, it's a human trait I expect. The best way to avoid conflict, instinctively.

So, who here means to say they are just a loner by nature?

I think my real question is, because I'm finding this extremely difficult to structure, -distracted by the time because I need to leave for Uni shortly- if you were in any group situation, any human or therian or other situation, what rank would you most naturally assume. And, I believe, that people change ranks depending on the personality of those around them and the situation they are in.

BlackWolfDS · Post by **BlackWolfDS** » Wed Apr 18, 2007 12:42 am

Honestly...I think I would fall into the subordinate rank. Something low becuase I tend to be quiet and just listen the the conversations, rather than get involved with them..that's just me though.

Kirk Hammett · Post by **Kirk Hammett** » Wed Apr 18, 2007 2:29 am

BlackWolfDS wrote:Honestly...I think I would fall into the subordinate rank. Something low becuase I tend to be quiet and just listen the the conversations, rather than get involved with them..that's just me though.

Yeah me too. If Im with one person I'm comfortable talking a lot, but in a group situation I shut my trap.

Midnight · Post by **Midnight** » Wed Apr 18, 2007 3:09 am

That's an interesting set of questions... not sure if I can properly answer them but I'll give it ago.

Why I answered "lone wolf" on Anubis' questionnaire... I answered it "in character" as Midnight, and based it on me not knowing of any other werewolf fans within something like four hours' drive in any direction (not that you can drive more than about half an hour southward, but I digress...) so he's fairly much a one-of-a-kind. (I'd never even heard of therianthropy until a couple of years back when I first started lurking at the edge of on-line werewolf fandom).

But even in "real life" I'm not very social. My work is just something I do to make money. I normally live alone (currently I've got a boarder, but he's a close friend's father and neither of us are all that talkative) and my closest friends are various places up north (Dunedin, Tokoroa, Whakatane, Auckland etc.) so it's not a common event for us to meet up.

I work in a big organisation and have a bit of a reputation for hiding in the background and "doing my own thing" (and probably the reason I'm still there is that "doing my own thing" is what gets results). I share an office with someone else who's always on the go, working or gossiping or planning social events and all that sort of stuff so I'm easily overlooked. As for a band... there's no amount of enthusiasm that could make up for my lack of musical talent (know half a dozen guitar chords, all of them out of tune) or singing ability (can hit half a dozen notes, all of them flat). I would have liked to have had a go at learning to play the bass guitar... but based on my lack of results elsewhere it would have been a waste of time and the cost of an instrument.

As far as The Pack is concerned... I consider the people here to be friends (I refuse to consider on-line friends as any less important than off-line friends) but it's extremely unlikely that I'll ever meet any of you in real life. I'm also fairly sure I'm not Therian (I don't know how precisely one decides who is and who isn't, but at a rough guess the Therian community would have enough problems with posers and wannabes that I don't want to make life even more complicated for them). I'm just a werewolf fan who's glad for the chance to pass the time with other werewolf fans on-line because there don't seem to be any more of us in the Deep South.

As for your final question... In a group situation... I don't know how it would work in pack hierarchy, but I wouldn't want to be a leader and I wouldn't have the temperament to be a follower (one of the easiest ways to piss me off is to try telling me what to do). I don't like causing trouble so I'd keep to myself. If someone wanted a hand with something, then I'd give them a hand, no problem, but it would be because I wanted to help, and not because of anyone trying to order me around or anything.

Looks back on that huge screed of waffle ... Well I hope I've answered something... not quite sure what it is though...

lupine · Post by **lupine** » Wed Apr 18, 2007 3:28 am

Kirk Hammett wrote:If Im with one person I'm comfortable talking a lot, but in a group situation I shut my trap.

Yeh. That's me too.....unless there's alcohol...then....well

I can spout endless crap to all and sundry:lol:

PariahPoet · Post by **PariahPoet** » Wed Apr 18, 2007 7:11 am

I'm a solitary kitty. I don't normally like people, but I tolerate them if it suits my purposes. ;)

John Wolf · Post by **John Wolf** » Wed Apr 18, 2007 8:25 am

I don't have that many friends locally, most of them live in Scotland and York, I think that would make me a lone wolf.
however, I still don't see why people on Msn and Sites on the net, carn't count as friends.

TakeWalker · Post by **TakeWalker** » Wed Apr 18, 2007 8:28 am

I used to be the 'lone wolf' type. I realize now, it was mostly in my head. I've had a large group of friends since 10th grade, and never any lack of friend-making when in a new place. I'd definitely take the omega position in a pack, since I have no spine.

I'm the easy-going wise-cracker who just does what everyone else is doing.

JoshuaMadoc · Post by **JoshuaMadoc** » Wed Apr 18, 2007 8:38 am

"Nosy loner" is me right now.

MoonKit · Post by **MoonKit** » Wed Apr 18, 2007 9:18 am

Remember when you were back in high school and there was that kid at lunch who sat all by themselves reading or doing homework? Yeah, well that kid was me.

Not that I couldnt make friends or that nobody liked me. Heck, I had a few admirers.

I had just always rathered to sit alone and work on my story without people looking over my shoulder. I thought forcing conversation with people you shared a class with once, just so you werent alone was retarded. And you know what? Out of four years of highschool, I sat alone for two of them and I enjoyed them MUCH more!

I have just never been one for friends. I enjoy having a deep bond with my mate (or boyfriend at the time) and the company of my pets. Occasionally Ill go to a family function or go see a movie with my sister and her boyfiend but I dont feel a need for anything closer.

Now that I just rambled on a forum to a bunch of people Ive never met...I'll be leaving now.

Phoenix Ravenwolf · Post by **Phoenix Ravenwolf** » Wed Apr 18, 2007 9:38 am

With the exception of my engineering buds here on campus i rarely hang out with anyone other than my fiance, when put into groups i try to avoid taking control yet always seem to be the one who steps up and takes control anyway...lol.

Fenrir · Post by **Fenrir** » Wed Apr 18, 2007 10:38 am

....my groups doesn't have an "alphas" so I'am just a little confussed by the question....I think my groups are just like mobs. So that's it I think

Kzinistzerg · Post by **Kzinistzerg** » Wed Apr 18, 2007 3:48 pm

I don't fit into any groups. Really. At all...

But I do have friends and such, I'd just rather give up most social situations for reading a book in my room, in a corner. So long as I have a cat, a blanket, and a good book, I'm fine.

KittyRose · Post by **KittyRose** » Wed Apr 18, 2007 5:54 pm

I'm not part of a social group. When I'm in class, I have at least one person that I usually talk to before, during, and after class. I probably have around three or four good friends but they're not part of a large group. I sort of did the same thing in high school but I tried to find a group to hang out in. Found several but it didn't really last for so long.

Whenever I'm in a large group, I'm not much of a talker. I remember when I slept over my cousin's house for her sweet sixteen I barely said a word to anybody. I didn't really know her friends and I was a tad shy. Recently I went over to a friend's house for dinner and a movie with her friends but this time, I found the energy and strength to speak up.

Over the years, I've been trying my best not to be so antisocial. I usually prefer to sit in my room on a Friday or Saturday night hanging out on the computer or doing other stuff than go out on the town with a group of kids. Most of the time I do feel like a loner and I'm okay with it but there are some days when I feel the need to be part of a group. A friendly group where I would be accepted. There are days when I hate being left out of something fun, I can say that.

So there are days when I'm fine being by myself and then there are days where I want to take part in a group. It can get a tad complicated but that's just how I feel.

DarkShadow · Post by **DarkShadow** » Wed Apr 18, 2007 6:43 pm

I have a little group I hang out with at schhol, but I am abit of a lone wolf. I dont really fall into a "catagory" or anything like that. Im a very shy person, and a little odd. ;) I also have this problem that Ive had all my life that I hate, so that is probably why I'm so shy. Maybe what it really comes down to, is that Im afraid of not being accepted. I dont really know why, because Ive never been that kind of person that cares what everyone says.

geekboy1500 · Post by **geekboy1500** » Wed Apr 18, 2007 7:57 pm

I am just possibly the most opposite opposite of a lone wolf there can possibly be. Without other people I die, shrivel up and blow away.

I also somewhat unfortunately am an 'alpha', somtimes without thinking I just pretty much say "It's my way or the highway!" without meaning to. But in other situations the 'alpha' trait is desireable. I am able to pull together a bunch of people and make them work towards a unanimous objective. Which is nice.

The important thing for me to remember is to keep a cool head, as to keep my head attatched to my shoulders!

tyger · Post by **tyger** » Wed Apr 18, 2007 8:04 pm

I come with the typical "I was picked on" but if the good we do, rarely remembered than the cruelity we inflict is never forgotten. not to mention I always seem to be out of the typical genre. I'll be the only guy who liked Rap in a country bar =p I also match a bit of moonkit's explination During lunch I would go into a corner and draw. It was a great escapism.
Though I am also shy untill I get to know you better I start to open up and joke. heh unless I'm on stage singing. weird ya, but whatever ^_^;

vrikasatma · Post by **vrikasatma** » Wed Apr 18, 2007 8:33 pm

I'm kind of a come-and-go loner-type wolf, I don't have a therian pack but it's mostly due to isolation. There's not much of anything around here, except maybe anarchists and hippies on one side and criminal types on the other.

I'd almost say it has a lot to do with the poverty level. People tend to concentrate on keeping body and soul together when resources are thin and scattered: they don't do much social-grouping. Most of the people in my area are described as the working poor, meaning they have to choose between a roof over their head and food in their belly.

When I was living in the Bay Area...oh yeah, I had a rather large pack that I social-congressed with at least once or twice a week. Most of them have given me a standing welcome, but obviously howls don't reach 600 miles.

*nagowteena* · Post by ***nagowteena*** » Wed Apr 18, 2007 8:34 pm

I'm a loner, or I like to be in small groops.

like in the band I'm in, I'm the leader (or rather Alpha) and the reason that hapened was , I was voted to lead the band.

but I would rather stay lonely.

I have two frinds who live on my street.

and my best friend ( who I really like) who just recently moved away.... I talk to him on the wab alost every day, and on the phone to.

so I'm a loner, or I would rather be in a small groop ( or rather pack)

Kirk Hammett · Post by **Kirk Hammett** » Thu Apr 19, 2007 3:16 am

Well, a nice mix of answers! I think the majority of us were picked on a little and a lot of us are slightly eccentric or individual, in a sense where we probably don't follow a crowd. (When I say that, I mean that I believe emo's who think they are individual are merely crowd followers and sheep).

I'm also fairly sure I'm not Therian (I don't know how precisely one decides who is and who isn't, but at a rough guess the Therian community would have enough problems with posers and wannabes that I don't want to make life even more complicated for them).

Happens all the time. Also, most human traits can be mistaken for therianthrope traits. Having pack ranks or a sense of heirarchy in a group is not a therianthropic trait. It is a human trait. A social animal trait.

As for your final question... In a group situation... I don't know how it would work in pack hierarchy, but I wouldn't want to be a leader and I wouldn't have the temperament to be a follower (one of the easiest ways to piss me off is to try telling me what to do). I don't like causing trouble so I'd keep to myself. If someone wanted a hand with something, then I'd give them a hand, no problem, but it would be because I wanted to help, and not because of anyone trying to order me around or anything.

In a sense, I am similar as I will not follow blindly. If I am not respected in a group, I lose touch with them and drift off. I've always been drifting from group to group. Never a leader, never a direct follower. If in a situation where I have to stay, though, such as a band situation, I am very capable of being independent to work on a solo alone, but, I am also highly capable of working intimately with other musicians. I can follow my own direction. I'm not assertive unfortunately so it sometimes leads to strife because I get lost and then sometimes they don't like my ideas so they have to be put into my 'future solo project file'. Which is fine

my groups doesn't have an "alphas" so I'am just a little confussed by the question....I think my groups are just like mobs. So that's it I think

Almost every group in every manner has an alpha in my experience. An alpha doesn't mean a bully, or a werewolf, or any sort of animal other than a human; (obviously the terminology is widely used). They just direct conversations, like the limelight sometimes, or are a leader, or organise group outings, decide when and where things are held (Even if it seems like everyone decides, there's always one who does a lot of the deciding) and usually that person is accepted there. It's human nature, doesn't always occur this way; I have definately been in groups where nobody is a leader and nothing gets done.

lupine · Post by **lupine** » Thu Apr 19, 2007 3:40 am

I guess I can interact well in a group of people, but only if I'm familiar and comfortable with them. I can be very strong willed and single minded, but at the same time I tend to take others feelings into account. Perhaps a little too much.

That said, I can talk about my innermost feelings and secrets, to a complete stranger. wierd.

I have a small circle of close friends (4 or 5), but even those are only seen once or twice a month.

I have close work colleagues, but i don't socialise with them, My professional and private lives very rarely cross.

I value my personal space greatly and try and get some 'MY' time whenever I can. Kind of hard when you have a wife and kids

Dunno if that makes me a loner. Loner is a word I'm not too fond of tho. It has unpleasant connotations to me, I mean, what was the word everybody used to describe that asian guy after his killing spree in Virginia...I prefer 'private' and 'individual' or as i'm known at work....'freak'

Templar · Post by **Templar** » Thu Apr 19, 2007 3:45 am

I always had the "new kid" syndrome. I'd get hassled and ignored not cause I was a geek, but cause I was the new guy, the outsider. The only people I really seemed to connect with were the guys an' gals I trained with at the dojos. Ya wanna talk about heirarchies, alphas an' betas and that stuff, just enroll at a local martial arts academy. Thankfully, though, that goes hand in hand with respect for one another an' a willingness to help each other improve.

Heck, I ain't even gonna be in Phoenix fer much longer, so now I get ta say goodbye ta all the people I just met!

Midnight · Post by **Midnight** » Thu Apr 19, 2007 5:29 am

Lupine... a lot of what you say would go for me as well, particularly keeping work out of private life... although what they call me at work is variations on "pedantic bastard" (someone actually wrote something like that on an inter-office envelope and it got delivered to me no problem...) I'm getting to be one of the "oldies" where I work and while I've worked with some of them for over 10 years (and about the same number of changes of office, and changes of job title...) none of them know all that much about me.

(and that "300" animation of yours was fairly much in time with the music I was listening to. I reckon John Collie (the drummer of the band I'm listening to) would be a better drummer though..)

Kirk... good point... humans are as much a social animal as wolves etc... wolves have packs, alphas and betas and stuff, humans have committees, presidents, secretaries and treasurers and stuff.
I'd say that most people were picked on at least a bit when they were young, full stop. And this whole idea of Being An Individual Like Everyone Else has been a joke at least since Monty Python - I think - had a whole lot of people chanting "We're All Individuals" and a little voice pipe up "No, I'm not!", if not earlier.
As for being slightly eccentric or individual... we're werewolf fans here. That's already fairly much put us on "the path less travelled".

Moonkit... at high school I was one of the half dozen that spent most of lunchtime reading and hanging around the library instead of yahooing around and throwing a rugby ball around the place.

lupine · Post by **lupine** » Thu Apr 19, 2007 5:34 am

Can't really say I was picked on at school. I was just VERY late in developing, not hitting puberty until I'd started working. This kind of meant that I was left behind by a lot of my school friends. But no never picked on, just wasn't trendy to be seen about with a little kid is it?

BlackWolfDS · Post by **BlackWolfDS** » Thu Apr 19, 2007 8:22 am

Hmm... In school I was out casted becuase I had a "learning disability". The reason I emphasize on that is becuase I was falsely diagnosed with ADD..when the real reason I didn't learn well was because they weren't meeting my needs to learn...that sounded arrogant for some reason >_>. But anyway...that lead to a low self esteem and the desire to just completely stay away from everyone else. Along with the learning disability, I was quiet and shy and would just do things on my own. Same thing happened in middle school, no friends, not very social. Then I hit high school and found a lot of friends. I have 3 or 4 very very close friends that I could tell almost anything to, along with a teacher who is awesome. But kind of like what other have said, I don't mix my social life with my private life. I hate when people come over to my house, and I feel really uncomfortable going to another's house. Sometimes, when I'm at school..I still feel uncomfortable in a group of people..just not very social..