Depression thread

[Spongy]

Melatonin worked for me as well. I didn't become addicted to it either. One 3mg pill was all I needed and within 20 minutes I was out like a rock.

[LunarCarnivore]

well it happened. she dumped me. i guess i moved too fast and she wasnt ready. i just wish the pain would stop. i have no control right now, im moving between numbness, depression and rage. she meant the world to me and now its over, and i feel empty and worthless. i knew it was too good to be true. it was all a lie, every time she said "i love you" she never meant it, and i have only myself to blame. suicide has occured to me, but i dont have the guts. all i can do is sit and watch werewolf movies to try and make the pain stop. anyone here know the cure to a broken heart?

[Wselfwulf]

That's kind of like asking for the fountain of youth or philosopher's stone. But the whole broken heart metaphor is the parade of anti-rationalism that plagues many in the throes of romance. Don't mute the feelings but examine them maybe. If your world feels empty without this person, you have ascribed them a great responsibility to provide you with meaning. Ask youself if this is fair, warranted or, dare I say it, rational. When it comes to thinking of your place in the world, it helps to think of it wholly in terms of yourself.

[RedEye]

well it happened. she dumped me. i guess i moved too fast and she wasnt ready. i just wish the pain would stop. i have no control right now, im moving between numbness, depression and rage. she meant the world to me and now its over, and i feel empty and worthless. i knew it was too good to be true. it was all a lie, every time she said "i love you" she never meant it, and i have only myself to blame. suicide has occured to me, but i dont have the guts. all i can do is sit and watch werewolf movies to try and make the pain stop. anyone here know the cure to a broken heart?

First of all, the HEART doesn't break. It's squishy, muscle fiber, and rests more than it works.
You got dumped for whatever reason...
Well, f'r cryin' out loud, find out WHY! And don't accept the first answer, it's wrong.
People are individuals. When they get together, there is a sort of chemistry that either brings them closer (normal) or moves them apart (unusual).
I hate to say this, but maybe you experienced the total amount of closeness she had to offer you. Maybe she was in over her head and bailed... Maybe you pushed too hard/not enough.
Learn from it! Enjoy the hurt, it means you are capable of feeling and caring; the pain is a valildation that you are alive and capable of loving someone...just not her, now. The pain VALIDATES you as a caring person.
Now the lemon-juice: It will happen again and again and then you and someone will >click< and you will realize that Love keeps a hard school, but the lessons are ultimately worth it.
You think that as precious as Love is, that it is to be had easily or without suffering? Uh-uh. You will pay perhaps one quarter of what you get when it all works out and you find your mate-for-life.
It really is worth all the pain...

[WerewolfKeeper3]

Agreed... find out why she dumped you.
And NEVER think she was lying when she said she loved you. She probably did... and perhaps it was going to fast for her, but you won't know unless you ask... oh, and one last thing...

DON'T EVER THINK ABOUT SUICIDE! She may have been your world, but you'll find someone else who fits you better, or, better yet, completes you, as much as you complete her. KIlling yourself is selfish and stupid... trust me. It makes everyone you left behind greive, and that's the last thing you ever want to do.

As to your question: Dude, if someone found the cure to a "Broken Heart", they'd be the richest person on the planet. But try eating your favorite food... i hear it works.

[RedEye]

Pushing onward through pain opens possibilities. You grow, you learn, you expand and become more than you were.

Suicide ends all possibilities...forever. Period. Plus, you leave your life-task undone, or for another to have to do along with their own. That will not make them think well of you.
They may not think of you at all...worse than suicide; nullity.

Suck it up. That which doesn't kill you outright, makes you stronger...and better...and more successful in the end.

[Kaebora]

I like to quote a comedian in this instance...

"Show of hands, who here has ever had a broken heart? ...huh, well I guess the rest of you haven't hit puberty yet I guess."
-Mark Lowry

It happens to everyone on the planet sooner or later, unless you're a sociopath, or afraid of relationships.

[WerewolfKeeper3]

I like to quote a comedian in this instance...

"Show of hands, who here has ever had a broken heart? ...huh, well I guess the rest of you haven't hit puberty yet I guess."
-Mark Lowry

It happens to everyone on the planet sooner or later, unless you're a sociopath, or afraid of relationships.

I think i fit into that category...
(Being a sociopath or afriad of relationships?)
...
The second one numb skull...
(Sorry... i saw an opening...)

[RedEye]

You aren't a Sociopath. They love socializing, and often have a large number of friends.
Friends are useful, you know.
And in Hannibal Lechter's case; tasty!

[WerewolfKeeper3]

You aren't a Sociopath. They love socializing, and often have a large number of friends.
Friends are useful, you know.
And in Hannibal Lechter's case; tasty!

I have a few... but honestly, i hate dealing with people in general...
(Except when he can't see them in person that is... or he knows them personally...)
Yeah...
Well... they don't have to worry... i'm a vegetarian so i wouldn't eat them... possibly use the bones for somethin' but... um... you didn't hear that...
(Oh come on... you wouldn't hurt anyone who actually "puts up" with you... protect them yes... hurt them, not intentionally...)
Yeah...

[WerewolfKeeper3]

...
For a while my grandma's been really sick...
She died sometime last night. We just got the call a couple of minutes ago. And i'm writing this because... i don't really know what else to do...

[Vagrant]

I can't really post much in this thread because I'm not that great with emotions, at least not beyond empathy (I'm too empathic for my own good, which is weird by comparison). Personal emotions I'm very detached from though, and I find that occasionally haunts me.

I remember when I lost my great grandmother, she was important to me so I wasn't quite sure how to deal with it. I wasn't sure what to feel, so I remember ending up not feeling anything, that was one of the things I just turned away from, switched off, forgot about.

The best advice I can give you in regards to your grandmother--or any death--is to not switch off. Go to the funeral, you'll end up crying but that's a good thing, and talk with your family about it all, and remember things... because memories are the most important treasures you have. And until such a time when we can transcribe them, they're the only treasures we can't replicate, so cementing them will do you good in the coming years.

[WerewolfKeeper3]

good advice... hope it helps eventually

[WerewolfKeeper3]

Yeah, it's me again...

well... this year sucks. My grandmother passed... though she is in a better place...

My dad almost got laid off work...


Oh... and KB Toys is closing...
That's the company i work for... i'm losing my job at the end of January...
I get to start off 2009 with losing my job... looks like 2009 is going to suck too...


And i'm starting to get aggitated at everyone around me... i'm starting to act out, which i've never done before and...

God i just don't know what i'm supposed to be doing... and honestly... i don't really care anymore...

[Vagrant]

I don't know if you're in a country where this would be free for you, but if it is and you start getting really bad, then I recommend you book yourself in with a psychologist. It can be good to get all your feelings out in the open, and in complete confidence that they won't be shared or made light of

The thing is, what you're feeling now is completely natural. Someone very close to you has died, and you're mourning, and due to the way minds work, we all have very different coping mechanisms for that. Everything is going to look like it's going downhill because of the state your mind is in. The worst thing you can do is let this all get to you so much that you break down and just let go, because that's the kind of thing that can destroy a person's life.

The best thing you can do for now is hang in there, and get some help if you feel you really need it. But do hang in there, eh?

(Edited a typo, thanks outward.)

[outwarddoodles]

Unless he wants medication, he's going to want a psychologist*.

At least in America, there's several 'help hotlines' focused towards allowing teens and depressed individuals to express their feelings, recieve consolation, and hopefully garner support. Completely free, afaik.

[Vagrant]

You're right, of course. It was late and I slipped up, I'm surprised I didn't catch it myself actually, as I tend to reread my posts and edit errors like that when I catch them.

Oops.

Oh and we have those hotlines in the UK too, they do good work. Having known someone with manic depression though, I know that there's only so much that a voice over the phone can do. Having someone there in person can really make a difference, but it's not the same with all people, though.

(Oh and it's time for new eggs for you, outward! I wonder if it was my click that got the second one mature? Iono, but yes... new eggs!)

[outwarddoodles]

Yeah, I figured it was a slip up, but WerewolfKeeper might not have known.


I can understand the limitations of hotlines, I myself have never used one, but for those cases where selfharm becomes immediately evident, and there's just no one out there to talk to; call a hotline! Hopefully it'll cool you off by the time you're done talking things through, or maybe you'll gain a better perspective after you've expressed everything.

This site leads to a couple of helpful online resources.

To Werewolfkeeper: depression for the reasons you've listed is very natural, and only an insane individual would NOT feel the way you do right now. I know it's hard and most likely feels like it won't work, but finding a means to cope is the best thing you can do for yourself now (drawing, writing, reading, exercise, anything.)

[Vagrant]

Fair enough, hadn't quite looked at it that way! It's just past experiences colouring how I see things really, is all. But I do honestly see what you're getting at.

But I agree with you again though on how he's feeling. I've mentioned this before but ... when my Great Grandmother died, I felt nothing, and it almost broke me because she was one of the most important people in my life.

It's good to feel over this, and to mourn, that's the feelings one should be encountering after an event like this. It may sound cruel, but I'm really glad you are mourning, WWK, because it means that you're going to be alright, in the long term.

[outwarddoodles]

Well, admittingly, through my experiances with death in the past, I never felt any immediate pain or remorse. The full realization of that death typically arrived later, and only then would I feel the complete impact.

[Vagrant]

I can understand that, there were one or two I didn't mourn over for a little while, even a good friend. But when someone's important to you, and you end up not mourning for a good number of months... it hits all the harder.

That's why I've come to try and encourage people to mourn, because the longer it's left, and the more of an impact that person had on your life, the more of a wreck it can leave you when all that pain finally comes tumbling down.

Stonne the Crows... I'm being the most depressing person in this thread, now. So I think I'll leave it at that for a bit, rather than talk any more about it.

[WerewolfKeeper3]

Thanks...

Actually, writing was my way of dealing with things... and i'm writing again, which is good...

But god, all those old doubts just come tumbling back... and then Lewis usually tells me to stop, and keep working...

Which is odd, since i convinced his wife to tie him up in thier bedroom and... *ahem* do whatever she liked with him...

But i don't think he minded that much...

I'm usually a very sensative person, and i guess i just thought... if i stopped being that way... that it would hurt less... it doesn't...

Eh, well... i'm off to Microsoft Word again... wish me luck...

[Vagrant]

We all have our coping mechanisms. In fact, I had a bit of a similar one back when I was going through some stuff, a good while ago. I'd just crack open a document editor and type out my frustrations there, the paragraphs would really flow, and it was better than yelling about it. I kept those secret and away from prying eyes, doing that helped me get over what was going on then.

Oh, and don't feel at all bad about being empathic or sensitive, they're virtues in my book. It's a burden to have overpowering emotions, but it's so much better than not having any at all. Without emotions, we lose the "feel" for life, and we wouldn't enjoy it without that.

[Irish Wolf]

Wow I was gonna post that i broke my arm the 19th and that my b-day is the 30th. so life sucks a lil but wow everyone's problems seem so much worse than mine.

[Moss27]

... I was going shopping this afternoon when I saw roadkill on the opposite side of the road. It was huge and bulky. At first I thought it was a deer. When we got closer, the fur was thick, so I thought dog. I was able to see blood by then. I sat up out of my seat, trying to see what kind of dog it was. It's back was towards us, so I couldn't really tell... Then as we passed it, I saw a wolf-type muzzle. I'm hoping that it wasn't a wolf. Heck, I'm sorry that it was killed, period. There was no car beside it... I don't know how they take care of large animals... but I hope that they don't throw the poor thing in the trash.

That, plus a hectic school week is making me stressed out...