And now, to figure out whether the aforementioned crminal is highly intelligent, or a complete moron.
Criminal Intelligence (or lack thereof)
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Moon_Lover
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Criminal Intelligence (or lack thereof)
A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense: "My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb." "Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I sentence the defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses." The defendant smiled. With his lawyer's assistance he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.
And now, to figure out whether the aforementioned crminal is highly intelligent, or a complete moron.
And now, to figure out whether the aforementioned crminal is highly intelligent, or a complete moron.
You can run, you can hide, but I'll still pounce on you and lick you silly.
Didnt see that ones coming. I wonder if the judge realized it was a fake limb when he said it. He may have just meant "go to jail or chop off ur arm, assuming the man wouldnt chop off his arm". 
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Moon_Lover
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Timber-WoIf
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-a guy robs a pizza delivery dude. at gunpoint. Cept, because, in order to get the pizza guy to come, he gave the pizza place his name, address, and phone number. his real name, address, and phone number. the cops had no touble finding him.
-ladie tries to buy cash with a poorly handdrawn $20 bill. the president on the bill was Clinton. Nuff said.
-A lady tries to pass a counterfit $1,000,000 bill at a wall mart by buying milk and bread. there's no such thing as a million dollar bill. nuff said.
-a robber walks around a cop car, into a gun shop/shooting range, yells "this is a robbery" shoots a round from his handgun into the air, and is promptly waxed by the cop and owner, who were talking by the register, and the 3 partrons practicing thier marksmanship in the range.
-a robber pulls i knife on an old lady at a gas station register. the old lady beats him down with a stapler. nuff said.
-a robber tries to rob a McDonlalds with a knife. the employees beat the guy up with brooms etc, and finish by shoving the guys head into the fry cooker.
-a burgler tries to break into a McDonalds through the stove ventalation on the roof. he gets stuck, stays stuck till morning when employes find him and, after being rescued by firefighters, is arrested by police.
-a lady tries to pass a photocopied $20 bill at a 7-11. she didn't bother to photocopy both sides. nuff said.
-ladie tries to buy cash with a poorly handdrawn $20 bill. the president on the bill was Clinton. Nuff said.
-A lady tries to pass a counterfit $1,000,000 bill at a wall mart by buying milk and bread. there's no such thing as a million dollar bill. nuff said.
-a robber walks around a cop car, into a gun shop/shooting range, yells "this is a robbery" shoots a round from his handgun into the air, and is promptly waxed by the cop and owner, who were talking by the register, and the 3 partrons practicing thier marksmanship in the range.
-a robber pulls i knife on an old lady at a gas station register. the old lady beats him down with a stapler. nuff said.
-a robber tries to rob a McDonlalds with a knife. the employees beat the guy up with brooms etc, and finish by shoving the guys head into the fry cooker.
-a burgler tries to break into a McDonalds through the stove ventalation on the roof. he gets stuck, stays stuck till morning when employes find him and, after being rescued by firefighters, is arrested by police.
-a lady tries to pass a photocopied $20 bill at a 7-11. she didn't bother to photocopy both sides. nuff said.
<--- THEY PWN U-
nachoboy
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darn, that would hurt!Timber-WoIf wrote: -a robber tries to rob a McDonlalds with a knife. the employees beat the guy up with brooms etc, and finish by shoving the guys head into the fry cooker.
DENNY COLEMAN IS KING!
"It is a widely known fact that ALL werewolves love Malt-o-Meal."
http://djnacho.deviantart.com
"It is a widely known fact that ALL werewolves love Malt-o-Meal."
http://djnacho.deviantart.com
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Lukas
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that sounds alot like that scene from coming to americanachoboy wrote:darn, that would hurt!Timber-WoIf wrote: -a robber tries to rob a McDonlalds with a knife. the employees beat the guy up with brooms etc, and finish by shoving the guys head into the fry cooker.
(for every afro avatar, a funky man loses his hair, please, think of undercover brother)
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Uniform Two Six
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I know a guy (possibly the single most stupid individual on the face of the earth) who should be included here. I will not release his name or specify exactly where this account took place. However, I assure you this is (sadly, unimaginably) a true story.
The guy in question (whom I shall call "John") was something of juvenile delinquent, and was often getting involved in small-time mischief like petty vandalism and such. The town in question had at the time a population under 5,000 residents. The cops are entirely familiar with "John". "John" goes down to San Diego for vacation. He returns to town a week later driving a stolen corvette with a young woman he met in San Diego (I do not know the specifics of what happened in San Diego). Upon entering the town, he drives past a California Highway Patrol speed trap. The cop (who knows "John" by sight after having arrested him many times) notices two things:
1. "John" is in the company of someone he has never seen "John" in the company of before.
2. "John" is driving a really nice corvette.
The cop thinks about it for a second, and decides that things are somewhat suspicious since "John" cannot afford a corvette (brand new or otherwise). Since "John" is speeding (through a CHP speed trap which locals like "John" presumably knew about), the cop has no problem with probable cause for a traffic stop. He pulls in behind "John" and activates his lights and siren. "John" floors it. Unfortunately, there is only one road in or out of town, and "John" is already headed into town when he decides to flee (in other words, he heads into one big dead-end). However, "John" (to his credit) recovers from his misstep quickly and hits upon a novel idea. He turns the stolen car up a jeep trail. This jeep trail requires four-wheel-drive to successfully navigate. "John" is in a two-wheel-drive corvette with perhaps six inches of ground clearance. The cop is in a big 4X4. "John" hits a rock, loses control and goes off the road and down an embankment where the car comes to an abrupt stop when it gets wedged between two large Jeffrey Pine trees. This also has the added effect of wedging the two doors closed and trapping the two occupants in the vehicle and thus preventing them from fleeing on foot (which "John" was attempting to do). Neither were hurt, but they could only be rescued from the car once a tow truck had winched them from between the trees.
Idiot.
The guy in question (whom I shall call "John") was something of juvenile delinquent, and was often getting involved in small-time mischief like petty vandalism and such. The town in question had at the time a population under 5,000 residents. The cops are entirely familiar with "John". "John" goes down to San Diego for vacation. He returns to town a week later driving a stolen corvette with a young woman he met in San Diego (I do not know the specifics of what happened in San Diego). Upon entering the town, he drives past a California Highway Patrol speed trap. The cop (who knows "John" by sight after having arrested him many times) notices two things:
1. "John" is in the company of someone he has never seen "John" in the company of before.
2. "John" is driving a really nice corvette.
The cop thinks about it for a second, and decides that things are somewhat suspicious since "John" cannot afford a corvette (brand new or otherwise). Since "John" is speeding (through a CHP speed trap which locals like "John" presumably knew about), the cop has no problem with probable cause for a traffic stop. He pulls in behind "John" and activates his lights and siren. "John" floors it. Unfortunately, there is only one road in or out of town, and "John" is already headed into town when he decides to flee (in other words, he heads into one big dead-end). However, "John" (to his credit) recovers from his misstep quickly and hits upon a novel idea. He turns the stolen car up a jeep trail. This jeep trail requires four-wheel-drive to successfully navigate. "John" is in a two-wheel-drive corvette with perhaps six inches of ground clearance. The cop is in a big 4X4. "John" hits a rock, loses control and goes off the road and down an embankment where the car comes to an abrupt stop when it gets wedged between two large Jeffrey Pine trees. This also has the added effect of wedging the two doors closed and trapping the two occupants in the vehicle and thus preventing them from fleeing on foot (which "John" was attempting to do). Neither were hurt, but they could only be rescued from the car once a tow truck had winched them from between the trees.
Idiot.
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Kirk Hammett
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Figarou
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Not quite the same.......Timber-WoIf wrote:
-a robber pulls i knife on an old lady at a gas station register. the old lady beats him down with a stapler. nuff said.
http://www.break.com/index/thats_not_a_knife1.html
But close.
World's dumbest criminal.
http://www.break.com/letsgotoprison/wor ... minal.html
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Moon_Lover
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Well, I'd have to disagree. One more thing to say: Ow.Timber-WoIf wrote:
-a robber pulls i knife on an old lady at a gas station register. the old lady beats him down with a stapler. nuff said.
Indeed, the criminal element is slowly learning that the cashiers behind the register aren't quite as defenseless as they look.Figarou wrote:Not quite the same.......
http://www.break.com/index/thats_not_a_knife1.html
But close.
I'd heard about that. Complete idiot, but no matter.Figarou wrote:World's dumbest criminal.
http://www.break.com/letsgotoprison/wor ... minal.html
You can run, you can hide, but I'll still pounce on you and lick you silly.