Someone posted this essay written by an 8th grader on a livejournal community I visit every so often. Basically, the point of the essay was to pick an endangered animal and to explain why protecting that species was important. They picked Koalas. The following is the essay. No grammer or spelling has been corrected.
I shouldn't do s***. I don't care about them they all could die and it won't affect my life. I know a lot about them but I don't need to think about them. They're just a waste of time koalas are stupid they don't help me with s*** so why should I help them. If they all die there will be more room for the panthers and all the other hard animals. Koalas are weak a pit will get rid of their whole f*** family. That's why I don't like koalas.
Koalas have sharp claws but they are weak. They all small and fat and they be climing trees. I hope a storm just come while theyjust chilling up in the tree thinking they is hard and they're will all just fall off. They just break they neck and s***. When they fall they claws are going to fall off and they going to be crying like some little bitches.
Koalas aren't hard they some little bitches. They start climbing up the tree soon as they see a deer from like 50feet away. They stupid as hell they should put their brain in their pouch and put the kid in they ten they're be able to think better. They try to be in the f*** kangaroo family. They weak as hell, talking bout they got a pouch a kangaroo so they their cousins and s***. Kangaroo's have some big a** legs and whot do a koala got? Some little a** legs, they tails is little and weak as f*** kangaroo's got a big a** long tail that can kill a f*** koala.
If a koala goes in the water it won't be able to breathe with its little short a**. It'd f*** drown soon aas it take one step into the water. While they at the river trying to get something to drink a bear could just come to him and snatch its a** up. It doesn't know protection because they don't have protection. What they little a** going to do? It can't scratch him. The bear will beat his f*** a**.
The important think about koalas is that just don't care about tem and let them die by all the other animals in Australia. They're not important just let nature do what it do and kill them. Koalas do not have a place in this world there's not enough room for all the bitches in this world. So let all the koalas that's in the zoos and s***. Let them go and put them back with their family. If you let them all go they won't nothing except for that's what they was put in this world for. Now you know why koalas aren't important. They have nothing to do except for sitting around in the trees. It's like they just was like they was sent have to die. Koalas don't do nothing to help anybody. Thre would be just one more relative of the kangaroo that will be six feet under. Now you know why koalas are not important because there are dumb.
"We used to laugh at Grandpa when he'd head off and go fishing. But we wouldn't be laughing that evening when he'd come back with some w**** he picked up in town."
-Jack Handey
"Nam Sibyllam quidem Cumis ego ipse oculis meis vidi in ampulla pendere et cul illi pueri dicerent 'Sibylla Ti cupisne' respondebat illa 'Cupio mortere'."
This is quite typical of middle school aged kids. I remember that most of the male population at my junior high were little punks, constantly trying to sound tough, start fights and say hurtful crap for a rep.
This dumb a** is obviously trying to sound tough by writing an ageist filled essay.
I hate junior high kids, but it's fun watching them trying to regain their self deluded view of them selves of being a bad a**, after giving them a beating after a fight they started.
My question is who is he to be saying that certain creatures are weak or "not hard" when he's a human being? I bet the koala has sharper claws then he does! So who's a weak little b**** now?
Sheesh. Middle School kids. Me and my mate lauh at them in Starbucks because they have no clue whatsoever. Well MOST of them. No offense to anyone in here if your in Middle School!
You are the only light there is for yourself my friend
dude! thank you for posting this, nightslash! this made my week wonderful! talk about hilarious!
see, if i was the teacher of the lil punk what wrote this, i would be like, "man, you crazy. koalas rock my socks. other than that, though, this is the best freakin essay i've ever read, and i've read some pretty freakin awesome essays in my day, knamean? jus because your essay is so freakin hilarious, i'ma give you a hunnerd percent."
i mean, yeah, those are some ridiculous things to say in an essay about koalas, but man, that was hilarious. this would be the kind of work i would expect from my students if i was a teacher.
lol.
DENNY COLEMAN IS KING!
"It is a widely known fact that ALL werewolves love Malt-o-Meal." http://djnacho.deviantart.com
Heh. Now he's got some problems...
I was *a little* like that. I was full of myself, annoying, etc. I'm still full of myself of course, I just know how to shut up about it.
I'm actually considering a career in teaching. I'd be a bloody effective english teacher. I'm weird, I'm evil, and I have issues by the boat load. I'd make a kid like this live through hell. Worst grammar I've ever seen.
I actually go to a public school, so I see and hear horrid grammar daily. I was simply implying that this was the worst grammar I've seen in a paper supposedly turned in to an instructor. This person must not have spell-check. I honestly don't understand how people can write that badly, even without technological aid. It has always come naturally to me.
*twitches* not one comma GRRAAAHH!!!! Must not explode must not explode
"Nam Sibyllam quidem Cumis ego ipse oculis meis vidi in ampulla pendere et cul illi pueri dicerent 'Sibylla Ti cupisne' respondebat illa 'Cupio mortere'."
Fenrir wrote:*twitches* not one comma GRRAAAHH!!!! Must not explode must not explode
What are you talking about? There are a few commas here and there.
I know, but they're usually not placed in the right place in there.
"Nam Sibyllam quidem Cumis ego ipse oculis meis vidi in ampulla pendere et cul illi pueri dicerent 'Sibylla Ti cupisne' respondebat illa 'Cupio mortere'."
nachoboy wrote:
i mean, yeah, those are some ridiculous things to say in an essay about koalas, but man, that was hilarious. this would be the kind of work i would expect from my students if i was a teacher.
lol.
LOL! surely some of them think that, too, but no one writes it.
I can proudly say that I am not a stamp of the person beside me
NightSlash wrote:
Someone posted this essay written by an 8th grader on a livejournal community I visit every so often. Basically, the point of the essay was to pick an endangered animal and to explain why protecting that species was important. They picked Koalas. The following is the essay. No grammer or spelling has been corrected.
