Resolving Pack Problems

alphanubilus · Post by **alphanubilus** » Tue Jan 01, 2008 10:13 am

As we start a new year with loads of new years resolutions just waiting to be broken, I wanted to bring to light on how to better resolve issues on this message board, or any board for that matter. These are just a few observations and I freely encourage anyone who has anything else to add to certainly share their input. This thread is in direct response to the "Pack Problems" of which was closed. Remember this thread is to find ways to help resolve problems... In short I DON'T want to see arguements back and forth like what I saw on "Pack Problems." Let's focus on fixing the issues shall we...

I don't really post that much here, but I do read through a lot of various posts, and I've noticed a few volatile situations that could have been easily avoided.

1. This is a big one... Don't wear your feelings on your sleeves. Again and again, and this is not just at this board, I've seen peoples' attitudes explode over nothing. If you have an issue with something somebody said, PM them. For starters the problem stays between only two people, and you don't get anyone else involved, thus creating a quagmire. Half the time what was said... or written was misinterpreted. Personal attacks anywhere is simply a waste of time. Give a Mod a break, think before you post. If a person has made a direct attack at you, simply ignore it, and let it go. If the individual keeps at it, they will find themselves banned. Honestly, it isn't worth it. As the old saying goes, soft words can turn away wrath. For too long I've seen people act as if they're whole lives were ruined because of certain actions. Honestly, is what is written on a message board truly that life affecting? I certainly hope not.

A message board is a place where individuals of like mind can exchange information and learn from each other's experiences. If hard subjects, of which are always the most enlightening, can't be discussed without the conversation degrading to a "whine-a-thon" or a flame war, then the reality is people will leave.

ShadowFang · Post by **ShadowFang** » Tue Jan 01, 2008 3:32 pm

What was the point of this post?

Figarou · Post by **Figarou** » Tue Jan 01, 2008 3:50 pm

http://youtube.com/watch?v=oIcFgl6zf3A

MattSullivan · Post by **MattSullivan** » Tue Jan 01, 2008 4:01 pm

The point is this place is starting to get too nasty. Thee are too many personal attacks. AND, people mis-read other people's posts. They seem to think it's a personal attack on THEM if they don't agree with the subject or that person's opinion.

Terastas · Post by **Terastas** » Tue Jan 01, 2008 4:45 pm

I hope I'm not kicking up the flame wars by writing this, but why is it that so many people refer to disagreements as "Pack Problems?" Nobody here is obligated to agree with each other, nobody here is obligated to like each other, and nobody here is obligated to keep posting on this message board and continue to put up with each other.

I know a lot of people aren't going to like this, but I think the biggest "Pack Problem" with the pack is that "We are family" illusion. It's because people think that way that when someone that's been here a while starts spamming, flaming, etc., the natural response is to deny it, blame the targets of said spam/flame, and encourage leniency in regards to actions that would have had a newcomer banned in a heartbeat.

If someone is bored, we, the members of the Pack, are not obligated to provide content to entertain them. If someone spams/flames, we are not obligated to tolerate them. And if someone decides to stop posting for whatever reason, be it anything from a disinterest in the Pack as a whole, a sense of alienation, or a petty squabble, leaving is not in violation of their obligations, nor are any of us obligated to encourage them to stay.

We call it the Pack as if it's a group of people, but it's really a discussion forum; people come and go all the time. So please, lets make this the last thread exclusively about "Pack drama."

JoshuaMadoc · Post by **JoshuaMadoc** » Tue Jan 01, 2008 11:04 pm

"Living a life of eternal peace atrophies the instinct for us to survive."

RedEye · Post by **RedEye** » Tue Jan 01, 2008 11:22 pm

There are individual problems within the Pack, yes, and they make Pack problems because they affect both new members and older members who don't like all the confrontations and verbal slapdowns out of nowhere, for no seeming reason.
We are trying (mods and admins) to keep things on an even keel and do so without being the "big bad" lurking in the background.
You can help too, and we need this help!
First, If someobdy baits you, or posts ugly things about what you've said-please Ignore them! Don't respond! Every fight needs two people; so don't be a no.2. Let us deal with them.
Secondly, this time of year is a really difficult time for a lot of us in the Northern Hemispnere: it's dark, cold, and expenses are usually way, way up. Winter time sees twice as many fights, twice as many murders, three times as many suicides, and two and a half time shte number of divorces as Spring, Summer, or Fall. So let things go...this is just a Bulletin Board; not the center of the Universe*.
Take a deep breath and let the hassle go: it will get fixed, and it isn't worth getting upset over.
* Two flights down and at the end of the hall, turn right for the center of the Universe.

Kaebora · Post by **Kaebora** » Wed Jan 02, 2008 2:11 am

MattSullivan wrote:The point is this place is starting to get too nasty. Thee are too many personal attacks. AND, people mis-read other people's posts. They seem to think it's a personal attack on THEM if they don't agree with the subject or that person's opinion.

That would probobly account for half of the drama ever started in this forum. Typed words suck.

Terastas wrote:I know a lot of people aren't going to like this, but I think the biggest "Pack Problem" with the pack is that "We are family" illusion. It's because people think that way that when someone that's been here a while starts spamming, flaming, etc., the natural response is to deny it, blame the targets of said spam/flame, and encourage leniency in regards to actions that would have had a newcomer banned in a heartbeat.

Something I'm hopeing will change soon. I admit there are people here I could never bring myself to ban or suspend, so I always call on the other admins to help deliberate and carry out the consiquences. Thank you for bringing up another point everyone is afraid to mention. Those whom are constant troublemakers should not have admins go easy on them just because they were members longer.

Kelpten · Post by **Kelpten** » Wed Jan 02, 2008 11:09 pm

Terastas wrote:I know a lot of people aren't going to like this, but I think the biggest "Pack Problem" with the pack is that "We are family" illusion. It's because people think that way that when someone that's been here a while starts spamming, flaming, etc., the natural response is to deny it, blame the targets of said spam/flame, and encourage leniency in regards to actions that would have had a newcomer banned in a heartbeat.

We call it the Pack as if it's a group of people, but it's really a discussion forum; people come and go all the time. So please, lets make this the last thread exclusively about "Pack drama."

Um, I disagree with you there a little. You get back whatever you put in, so if all you wanted from this place was to discuss werewolves, that's all you'd get. But for many people here The Pack has definitly evolved into more of a "familiy." (We certainly argue enough for siblings

) I guess what I'm trying to say is that being a "pack" isn't really a bad thing. If you emotionally invest in something, you get more emotion back, so if you treat others like a family you'll receive that same feeling.

Still, I agree that constant trouble makers, regardless of how long they've been here, should be banned. If people can't express thier opinions without resorting to flaming then their isn't much they can contribute.

RedEye · Post by **RedEye** » Wed Jan 02, 2008 11:34 pm

Actually, having seen what a Wolf Pack was, this place decidedly fits. Wolves are not polite to each other. They play pranks, and steal from each other, and do everything I see here.
A Pack is a group of Wolves who "resolve" to stay togehter nno matter what. They fight. They snap. They are as noisy as ten brass bands-and every one of them is there by their own choice.
Yeah- that's here.

alphanubilus · Post by **alphanubilus** » Thu Jan 03, 2008 4:49 pm

RedEye wrote:Actually, having seen what a Wolf Pack was, this place decidedly fits. Wolves are not polite to each other. They play pranks, and steal from each other, and do everything I see here.
A Pack is a group of Wolves who "resolve" to stay togehter nno matter what. They fight. They snap. They are as noisy as ten brass bands-and every one of them is there by their own choice.
Yeah- that's here.

And toss duckies at one another...

MoonKit · Post by **MoonKit** » Sun Jan 06, 2008 5:43 pm

RedEye wrote:Actually, having seen what a Wolf Pack was, this place decidedly fits. Wolves are not polite to each other. They play pranks, and steal from each other, and do everything I see here.
A Pack is a group of Wolves who "resolve" to stay togehter nno matter what. They fight. They snap. They are as noisy as ten brass bands-and every one of them is there by their own choice.
Yeah- that's here.

Well, they're just testing each other to see who is what rank arent they? I guess we could be seen as doing that.

Rhuen · Post by **Rhuen** » Sun Jan 06, 2008 6:40 pm

As a mod from another forum I can say that any public forum will experience ALOT of conflict. I just brush it off for the most part as un-important and try to stay out of such conflicts as much as possible. Heck I'll just not respond to a post that is intentionally negative and intended to start something.

Baphnedia · Post by **Baphnedia** » Mon Jan 07, 2008 12:33 am

Conflict is a part of life - and as a former moderator here on the Pack, and an admin of my own forums; nevermind. There is a certain critical mass of how comfortable you are with other forum members (to be able to play pranks, get angry at, or anything). Those who aren't comfortable at speaking out won't. I typically lurk, because I often don't have the time to be here as much as I used to, and grew detached.